I would have to agree that this post has gotten out of control. Having run with the guy before several times shows me that his training dictates that he\'s capable of much more than 18:28--4mi. Watch out for some good stuff from him this spring.
Oh, and lay off the weight issue. He's awfully sensitive about his manboobs.
Moody wrote:
Wejo, this is absolutely making my stomach sick *pieeeieuuukkkkeee* I can't read this anymore *pieeeukkeee* this thread is the worst *pieekeuee* I've ever read. Please can we move on with our lives and let Mr. Hesch run well?
Moody, this is a ignorant attack on Christian. Talking about his girl even.
Hesch is a made man, everyone knows who he is. We need more people like him to keep our sport fun. How many people crack jokes at the start of a us championship? Hesch doesn't dope, but instead rarely drinks and has the eye of the tiger. I wonder what people will say when he improves from age, better nutrition, less racing and more sleep! Someone's just mad that a 185lb guy in surf shorts and a wife-beater blew by him in the final homestretch.
-Paul Kezes
p.s. Good luck next weekend, Monique's ok with you staying.
To talk of Track is to talk of smack. And during this time to talk of drugs is the bug.
To say that someone is on drugs and isn't is truely the biggest compliment one can get right now. Just ask Lance Armstong. So props the CH. No doubt he isn't on drug. But just the thought, has given him more press than he would have ever got for that pathetic race.
Why don't you two communicate over the phone or by email? Who communicates over letsrun? Come on. I know I never do.
Csaba wrote:
Moody, this is a ignorant attack on Christian. Talking about his girl even.
Hesch is a made man, everyone knows who he is. We need more people like him to keep our sport fun. How many people crack jokes at the start of a us championship? Hesch doesn't dope, but instead rarely drinks and has the eye of the tiger. I wonder what people will say when he improves from age, better nutrition, less racing and more sleep! Someone's just mad that a 185lb guy in surf shorts and a wife-beater blew by him in the final homestretch.
-Paul Kezes
p.s. Good luck next weekend, Monique's ok with you staying.
Why are we talking about a 3:40/13:58 who has NO accomplishments as if he has done something? Lately? Nothing. In the past? Nothing. No accomplishments to speak of at all.
Um, hello. He won $600 in the midnight run in NYC. Highly suspect.
Montgomery Clift wrote:
3:40/13:58
not fast enough for you...? let's hear about your prs.
Copyright The Onion, Jan 2, 2005.
Man “shatters” PB, Mother accused of aiding doping program.
Debra Hesch, a married mother of two, in Morro Bay, CA, has been accused by the Galactic Anti-Doping Authority (GADA) several violations of the Inter-Galactic Anti-Doping Code, the most grievous of which was giving her son “performance enhancing meals,” specifically citing “those great tasting home-cooked meals she makes for her son.” Sources stated that Mrs. Hesch prepared these illegal meals “as often as possible,” adding that they would seek separate penalties for each meal Hesch consumed.
These shocking revelations were made by a high level official, speaking on condition of anonymity. The official said “The Hesch scandal was first brought to our attention when he posted an unheard of 1sec PB in the 4 mile distance last year. We’ve been keeping a keen eye on him, just waiting to catch him in the act.” The official pointed to his recent improvement of a mind boggling 7sec as “absolute proof that he must be eating performance enhancing meals, specifically spinach lasagna, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, carne azada burritos, and copious amounts of chips and salsa.” Another GADA official, also speaking on condition of anonymity, reasoned that while a Kenyan athlete could easily take 8-9sec off his/her 1500m PB in a matter of months, it was “absolutely ridiculous to think that a hack such as Christian Hesch could take 7sec off his 4 mile PB, in only 12 months time.” “What we have here is such a jump in performance as to be humanly impossible.”
GADA officials pledged to investigate Hesch to the fullest extent allowed by InterGalactic Law and, as of Monday morning, were seen in Morro Bay carrying away Mrs. Hesch’s cookstove, pots, pans, refrigerator, and any other items that could possibly be used to create performance enhancing meals. Officials were also seen confiscating Hesch’s Wheaties box, as well as several containers of canned spinach, all of which were deemed “illegal, unethical, and unsafe for use in our sport,” according to sources. “These types of substances have no place in a fair, level playing field,” said the official from the rolled down window of his six-figure Mercedes sedan.
Hesch immediately issued a press release denying the “ridiculous, and unfair allegations” claiming that he eats only the McDonalds dollar menu. However, several “friends” publicly testified to seeing Hesch eating at vegetarian restaurants in San Luis County and one claimed that “in 12 years of friendship, I’ve never seen him even touch fast food.” The friend is said to be going into the witness protection program. Other “friends” even alleged they had eaten at the Hesch household, saying that “those homemade enchiladas were the key to my newest PB. ‘Down the stairs, to the bathroom, and three pounds lighter in 18seconds flat.’” Others claimed severe side effects of these meals, including “burny butt” (a known short-term side effect of performance enhancing hot sauce) and “spicy burps” (another known side effect of performance enhancing chile rellenos).
San Luis County residents were shocked to find out that Hesch had not been “playing fair.” “I thought that he was just like us,” said one Morro Bay Rotarian, a local organization of which Hesch is an honorary member. “I was saddened to find out that he had succumbed to a dairy free diet, as he gave all us fat people hope for our athletic dreams. Now I know that it can’t be done without diligent training, careful diet, and loads of core stability work.” Many residents expressed hope that Hesch would return to his teenage ways of eating junk and not working out very consistently. “I hope he renounces these dirty practices of hard day/easy day, to bed at 9pm, and starts drinking more alcohol” said one local tavern owner. “In all my years in Morro Bay, I’ve made perhaps $10 in revenue from him” said the bartender, citing Hesch’s lack of desire to drink. The local Starbucks barista echoed these testimonials, stating that “Hesch doesn’t even drink mocha’s anymore, all he orders are soy chai’s, every time. It’s like he’s stuck in a rut.”
The Farm Team is even said to be aiding the investigation, one GADA official confirmed. “They told us he was complaining during a workout of ‘having a brick in my stomach’ from eating a performance enhancing burrito from one of those roadside burrito wagons,” said one unidentified official. “Personally, I think he was just too much of a wuss to keep up with us” quoted the FT’er, pointing to Hesch’s tendency to warm up with the girls, as he often complains that “the guys are too fast for me.” FT coach Frank Gagliano was overheard remarking that “if Hesch is eating performance enhancing burrito’s, we’ll make sure he sleeps wit da fishes.”
With all this controversy, it seems clear that Christian Hesch’s days of road whoring are destined to end. We here at the Onion will keep you up do date on this story as news breaks.
Obviously, the kid can’t be on EPO. Hell, I’ve run a Citipro Financial Analysis on the kid. He couldn’t afford the dope. $600 at a road race isn’t going to pay the bills for that type of good shit. He’s too fat anyways. Pilja, on the other hand, has the bank accounts to get his hands on some EPO. Watch for Mark to drop the day job at that shitty bank and run a 2:07 ‘thon in the near future.
I heard Pilja's pug, Josie, was talking with Regina Jacobs's dog, Floyd recently. Word has it Josie is unhappy with her mediocre 7:30 mile performance at last year's State Street Mile, and has gone to the dark side with the help of Floyd. Seen in the backalleys of Hollywood's more nefarious and unsavory areas, Floyd was rabidly humping Josie the pug, as partial payment for Iams dog biscuits spiked with EPO. Eager to break the toy breed mile world record of 7:12, Josie seemed willing to whore herself out to Floyd, who has been implicated in the BALCO scandal and is scheduled for grand jury testimony on Victor Conte later this week. More to come as the story develops.
yesh, i shaw him too, i think. it looked closer to 8min pace to me, but i was hung over. i was also too busy staring at the hot chick. how da hell does he get those hot chicks, every time i see him he's running wit hot chick. i need to quit drinking sho mush.
[quote]thewinnertakesitall wrote:
I think I just saw him running in Central Park... he was flying at about 7:30 miles... what a stud. Except I think he was getting his ass kicked by a chick. He looked pretty good, though. You think he's taking drugs for his sexiness?
Classic, must be "drug induced" writing :>)
Keep up the whoring.
Awesome response Christian!!!
Keep up the good work.
Ryan
all doping aside, did he really fly by anyone in the homestretch?
Look up those results.
Did he get lapped?
What's up Pat? I gotta say that was a funny story but Josie would never whore herself out. She's strictly all about class, even though she's known as the finest pug around. She's been known to break a few hearts at the dog park. She's very dissatisfied with her 7:30 mile though and is training dilligently to improve to a sub 7 min. She is slightly limited since her legs are half a foot long. She scored the drugs from Floyd by presenting him with a freshly made large poop. Her log impressed him so much he forked over his entire stash of EPO kibble. Hopefully she will be able to win the Dog Mile this next year!
Shorter Than Frank wrote:
Montgomery Clift wrote:3:40/13:58
not fast enough for you...? let's hear about your prs.
3:39.46/13:41.5 no accomplishments either. at least i know it.
Montgomery Clift wrote:
3:39.46/13:41.5 no accomplishments either. at least i know it.
Hey Montgomery, if you ever happen to be strolling down the street one day, and you see a giant throbbing black cock just lying there on the roadside, please pick it up and suck it like its your mom's ravaged chafed bitch tit.
[quote]thedevil wrote:
Why don't you two communicate over the phone or by email? Who communicates over letsrun? Come on. I know I never do.
Why don't stick a fork up your a$$. Because I knew he'd be here. Because cell phones don't always have great receiption. "Chating over the internet sucks," quote devil "You know what devil, you suck" quote csaba....
-p.s. hope you get the memo
That response from Christian is an instant classic. play on playa.
Truly a classic, Christian!
As in most of your races, in this debate - you win!