"Any idiot can go down to the Big 10 Pub, get drunk, dance around like a f***ing monkey...and puke!"
"You guys need to eat good food, if you can't afford it go take out a loan. All the pastas are good. Linguini, fettecini, all the ini's"
"I am not impressed with the Beer-a-myd!" (spoken while making a pyramid outline with his two index fingers)