OK Team : I have a Jack Foster "original" here.
This next piece was in a local Athletic Club Journal just a month ago. Colin Smyth (A VERY close friend of Jack's) reproduced it from an old Journal from 1977.
I asked Colin if I could put it on here. He said "No problem".
So here goes ; This really brings out Jack's sense of humour.
I will put some explanations for parts at the end.
In 1976 Jack won the Honolulu Marathon in 2:17 so the Americans put him on a Treadmill to see what made the old fellow run so fast.
Treadmill Testing
Have you ever been tested on a Treadmill ?. An inhumane machine which does’nt take into account tiredness, oxygen debt and the little human frailties like wanting to stop etc !
Picture the scene –
A small room, white and clinical. A seemingly innocuous machine with a belt on it about 18inches wide and about 5ft long, driven by a small electric motor. The speed and gradient can be changed quite simply by moving a little lever.
Seven minutes for a mile .. easy. 5:30 miles, flat or a gentle hill .. OK. 4:20 miles up a hill like Pukepoto* …. No problem ..just move the lever.
Ignore the poor apology for a human, who happens to be pounding and wheezing himself into a state of collapse on it ….
There I was, standing like some Adonis or other Greek God, a bag of bones in my skin coloured tights, struggling to keep my running shorts over my Gluteus maximus and those lovely nurses looking too !!.
A metal band around my head: A big fat tube suspended from it gagging into my mouth to measure how much oxygen I used. Six electric leads taped to my chest and back registering my Heart beats (if any !!)
A quick try to see if all was OK, and we’re off. It’s a strange sensation. Just like normal running except you are’nt getting anywhere. I was quite happy to stay in the room, The Nurses REALLY were gorgeous.
So the first 5 minutes. No Sweat, literally; 6 min miles flat going, nothing to it. A measured 60 seconds rest and away again. About 5:30’s this time. Still relatively easy, just like a good training run. What have we being worrying about. Easy. A novelty, running indoors. Where is the moving scenery – like on the movies ? Fun !
Another measured minute break, then back into it. This is more like it. Five minute mile pace on a very slight incline. Sweating now and breathing hard !!!. It feels like a race and you’re sucked into the last mad five minutes. First minute, up a hill at under 5’s and right away you are ‘working’. The whole atmosphere is changed; business like. There is slight tiredness from the previous 3 sessions. Legs are already heavy.
Second minute. The hill steepens but the bloody belt goes on at the same relentless pace. The breathing starts to wheeze. Why don’t they slow it just a bit ?. everyone watching for a sign of weakening.
Third minute and up goes the gradient, the pace says at about 4:50 miles and I start to slowly drift down the belt away from the safety bar at the top. A finger, one single finger poked in the kidney region prods you back up to the front.
“Christ, My legs” you think, “I’ll never hang onto this”. You can hear your breath rasping through the tubes into the oxymeter which is measuring your oxygen uptake per minute. The test, to be completed in full – 4 X 5 minutes to be of any use and these people have gone to much trouble to do it. Saliva dribbles around the pipe which is gagging your mouth and onto the belt. Any semblance of “form” is gone as you try desperately to stay with it.
Fourth minute. Legs like the proverbial chewed string. Breath is almost sobbing. The gradient goes up a further notch.
“Inhumane diabolical bastards” you think. They can see I’m stuffed, yet they keep making it worse. Worse than any track race I’ve ever run. Drifting back again from that bar. The finger! Eyeballs popping, you thrash your way back to the front of the belt.
“Hang in there – one more minute” someone yells. Everyone starts yelling at once “Sprint” - “Hang on” Stick with it”. Christ, It’s OK for them, they haven’t got my legs; maybe they have; the ones I’ve got don’t feel like mine any more.
Lungs burning, Heart hammering in your ears. The electric leads flapping about, helmut bouncing around your ears, saliva splashing on the belt ……. Going backwards down the belt … can’t help it ……utterly knackered ….. urge back up one more time ……. Backwards again, that’s it. They throw the switch, the belt stops and the legs buckle. There is a canvas chair underneath you .. just as well ..for Christ’s sake, what a wasted run ..my first sub 3 minute mile.
So, that is how it feels to run to exhaustion ! Well It’s not so bad, seen now, a safe 5 months ago >>>>>
* Pukepoto is a rather tough Hill in this area that Jack ran on regularly. Today the "Foster/Smyth Sheild" race runs close to it. A typical Jack Cross Country course.
Stuffed >> A Kiwi/Aussie and sometimes English term for being tired.
Hope you enjoy !!!