How can I be a responsible adult and still run high mileage?

I am surprised no one mentioned the option of getting a treadmill in the house. This would allow you to do your afternoon runs at home while being there for your kids, AND it will allow your wife to go outside to run kid-free.

I feel your pain, though. It is tough to get high mileage in with wife, kids and job. I find it difficult to get more than 50 mpw since most of my runs are before 6:30 am and I need to alternate morning runs with my wife's workouts, so I try to pack a lot of miles in on the weekends. Of course, my 50 miles per week probably take just as long as most people 80-90 miles per week.

Consider the treadmill thing. That was recommended to me and I thought it was a great idea. Even though I hate treadmills, it may just get you by until your kids are older and can ride their bike alongside your afternoon runs.

I often commute by bike, or run back and forth. If you are less than 10 miles from home, run home three or four times a week - voila - second run and it will likely add less than 30 mins on your commute.

You breeders disgust me. You're like a bunch of self-absorbed marionettes. You produce these parasites that you want nothing to do with and then complain about them. You disgust me, all of you.

The world is a conspiracy against you training!

Do you have to do high mileage all year? Why not take it easy, but only do the higher end stuff when prepping for a specific race or races?

Easy, just make the day longer. Instead of 24 hour days make them 26.

I'm not sure if this applies to your situation, but when I was younger my father used to go on runs and bring me and my siblings along. We would ride bicycles with him while he ran on bike paths an trails. This was a great way for us to have fun, spend time with dad, and burn off energy. At the same time he still got his mileage in.

I realize that this may not apply to our situation, if your kids are too you to go on a 6-10 mile bike ride then this probably wont help you immediately. It is something to think about for the future though. I'm not sure if tagging along with my father is what sparked my interest in running, but when I got older I wanted to train without any pushing from him. And I still remember the rides fondly.

Good luck with everything. I hope you can keep enjoying our training and have a happy healthy family

Why this thread still going?

Op, just get a treadmill or REDUCE YOUR MILEAGE! Case closed.

I'm in a similar situation, and have selected a time in the morning when I want to be back from my run. I allow myself to run as much as I want before that time (7am in my case). This puts the inconvenience of my training on me. If I want to run for 90mins., I have to hit the road by 5:30am, which means getting up a 5:10 and does not burden others in the house.

Also, I'm sure your wife would be willing to give you some ideas on how this situation can work. Good luck, and know that it will get easier as the kids get older (that's what everyone says to me).

Wow. I can totally relate.

I've been trying to make this work for a long long time.

The first challenge was graduating from college and balancing running with being married and having a job. That wasn't TOO bad. My wife worked late, and I could run at 5:30 or 6pm when I got off work. Of course, there aren't many serious guys who will meet you at the track in the dark for the workouts you really need.

Then I got a job where I could discretely run at lunch, and end up being gone for 90 minutes. There was a track near by and trails. I was in business.

Eventually, I increased my mileage to between 90-100mpw, all on singles, and my lunch hours ballooned to two hours including transition time. This was stressful. I felt like I was sneaking around. If people wanted to have a lunch meeting or even a meeting at 11 or 1, it would mean I was scrambling to get my workout in. I was worried about perceptions of me being 'gone' all the time.

So, I started running at 5:45am. I did that for years, but it started to impact family life. I was cranky. I was looking to go to sleep at 9 or 9:30, and stressed about getting in bed in time to make it through the next day. Also, running in the dark just isn't my thing. Can't see anything on the trails, can barely make out the potholes on the road. The track felt surreal in the dark. Throw in some rain and run almost all of it solo, and it was really challenging. Took a lot out of me. I felt like I was tough for getting it done, but it wasn't fun. I burned a lot of mental juice to fire up for those mornings. Those weren't happy times.

Eventually got jobs with shorter commutes, work from home privileges, and started going to a combination of running some days at lunch, some days in the morning, some days later in the morning and sneaking in late. I hate sneaking around and being under the gun to get my workout in and get to work or get back to work, but I've gotten a lot better at it. Better at my transitions. Better at being discrete. Better at quietly protecting blocks of time on my calendar.

On the family side, during the work week, my runs have essentially no impact on them. I take the time from time I would/should be at work, or early when they are still asleep. Wife still resents the running, because she says "I will move mountains" to get my run in, and won't be a team player and help with something if it means I have to miss my run. I clearly care more about that than anything. There is a lot of truth to that. I will move mountains, but running is so much more than competitive results or PRs at this point. There are numerous other benefits for me, that in turn make me a better person for the family. And I would still argue that I minimize the impact on them.

She, on the other hand, has prioritized work over working out. She can't stand the thought of sneaking in workouts or having co-workers think she might be a slacker. So, 20 years down the road, she's worked a ton of hours, she's way out of shape, and bummed about it, and resentful of me being in shape. And work hasn't been all that rewarding. They just pile more on her plate.

On the work side, yes, I haven't climbed the later anywhere nearly as far as I could have if I put the passion I have for running into my job. But thankfully, I've still done fairly well and earned some great money and worked my way up to a pretty solid position at a great company. It would be really hard to put the same passion as running into my job. I haven't found a job that I could get that fired up about.

Also, one of the biggest impacts of trying to go 3/3, and optimize all three parts of my life has been the stress of feeling constantly maxed out. Every waking moment has been scheduled for something. And even then, there are topics that there is absolutely no time for. Maintenance on my home for example.

But, here I am, in my early 40s. I love my family. I love running. I have a good job. I'm healthy. I still get to enjoy the gift of running and running relatively fast. I eat dinner with my kids every night and spend lots of good time with them. Things with the wife are so so, and I wish they were better. But we could have ended up at this point regardless of if I was running or not. It's a function of total daily stress we've taken on. Generally, my running time has come at the cost of my work. I can live with that trade.

Now, I'm trying to find a way to make things feel less hectic. Less rushed. Trying to change my fame of mind and take on less in general.

Good luck everyone!

I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm happy to share what I do. I have a wife and a 2 year old. I work 8.5 hours per day, plus commuting time. I try to run when my child is asleep or at work. I get up between 4 and 5 am. I get most of my mileage in before my child wakes up at 6 am. I run 4-5 miles at lunch, or lift weights. I don't shower at lunch. I towel off and put on deodorant. I skimp on sleep. I'd like to sleep more, but often end up getting only 6 hours of sleep most nights. On weekends, I run in the morning or at nap time.

One time-saver for me was hiring a coach. I used to spend too much time trying to put together a program, and researching various training programs. Now I spend that time running.

My approach is not perfect. My wife does complain on occasion about how much time I spend running.

Good luck. It ain't easy.

Andy Schleck wrote:

One time-saver for me was hiring a coach. I used to spend too much time trying to put together a program, and researching various training programs. Now I spend that time running.

WTF?

15-16 miler in the morning with a 20 minute run in the PM.

Get used to it.

Running always comes first...family and job will sort themselves out on their own

Running Dad-E-O wrote:

With kids and work, it is just too damn hard to wake up every morning at 5am and log 15 miles. I am not being a p*ssy, I am just being honest.

Then you are going to bed too late.

We had a guy here a few years back who made the 2004 US Olympic trials with a full-time job and kids with whom he spent quality time every day. Others here will probably remember him. He was, I believe, the guy who missed the standard by 2.5 seconds but got in anyway if anyone rings a bell. I forget the name he used.

He was doing well in excess of 100 mpw. He even published his schedule here of a typical weekday for us all to see.

What he did was cut out all the fat. No TV (unless it was some family time) no to so many other activities that we all do but don't need to. To him, it was family, sleep, work and run.

Learning true time management is tough. And if you don't want to give up those other things, you should not have to. But far too many people are blind to the time-wasters in their own lives.

Daddy E O,

The secret isn't just lunch runs, though if you can get a membership at a local gym near your office, you can certainly get a run in a day or two a week when you aren't called upon to do BD at lunch. The secret is also running as a way to get to and from work. You live 10 miles away, you say. Again, with a gym membership, you have a place to shower before you start work. Alternatively, you can run home from work and shower. Don't just look at Gyms. Some large hotels will let you join their "spa" for a price as well.

I live in Boston. My drive from the suburbs to work can take anywhere from 30-60 minutes depending on traffic. If I run, it is 12 miles, which takes me usually 80 or so 85 minutes depending on when I have to stop at major intersections. So there are some days where the trade-off is only 20 minutes between driving and running and I've also managed to commute without shirking my duties anywhere else in my life.

The final secret is being flexible. Forget planning the week's running. Set a mileage goal and then take it day by day. Some days I get an early 6-miler, followed by 9 miles at lunch. Other days I can't get a run in until on the way home for just 12 miles. One day a week I meet friends for a track workout at 5am at a track (outdoors in the summer, indoors in the winter.) Between warm-up, 5-8 miles of track work, and warm-down I get in 12-16 miles. On those days I am religious about 9 miles at lunch, making for a big day. Since it is only one day a week, I can be inflexible with my colleagues about my schedule. (Of course, even then, I sometime cave but then press to get in a run to home. Between this big day and a long run on the weekend, it gets easier to hit 90 miles per week.

There is the occasional week where work and family simply demand more of me than I can fit and still run 90 miles. On those weeks I run 60 or 70 or whatever and don't worry about it. There are also weeks where 100 or 110 will happen and it all evens out.

Keep running. Get creative.

The final s

After college, you either have to take the plunge and delay the life that you chose to have now, taking the gamble for the success that high mileage brings or accept a more sane running lifestyle that brings the compromise, which means you'll have to give up on what might've been and settle for less.

Your example isn't unique and it's imporatant for the upcoming blood behind you to understand this.

I personally saw this conflict well in advance before I made decisions and decided to go for the high mileage and squeeze every drop out of my body and leave no questions unanswered in exchange for real job, wife and family.

What happened is I got my answers: Two world teams, three Olympic Trials, and a 2:15 marathon. Looking back, I personally am pleased with the path I took. It allows me to enjoy the life I have now with greater satisfaction.

I'm forty now. I have a dream job, a worthy life partner, and kids?...well..they were never a part of the equation to begin with, but the point is: You gotta do ONE or the other to get the most out of yourself.

It takes careful planning. I could've gone for another Olympic Trials, but I set my timeline for Olympic pursuits until 2004, afterward, start building my life as you've done (and good for you because it's a great thing to have).

First of all, it is possible...just hard. Look at guys like Brendan Foster who did it in the 1970s.

I balanced it (not at Foster's level, but still at World Championships/Olympic level) by running home from work. I would do a run in the morning and then do my longer run in the evening coming home from work. I would go into work on the weekends to get my work clothes that accummulated during the week.

The other key is to minimize the family impact from your weekend training. The key is to get up early for your long run. If you can manage high mileage on 6 days a week of training, take off a weekend day to spend it with family...earn some equity and spend it on a week night track session.

These are words of wisdom. My family and managers know that running keeps things in balance for me physically and mentally, but there's a limit. Those are my first two priorities. I can handle 50, maybe 60 miles a week that includes a track workout and a long weekend run, maybe a double now and then, but that's about it. Plus as you get older, you need to do some gym stuff like core, plyos and maybe yoga to keep everything working. That said, think about where your running goals fit into the big picture. My personal decision was to get back into track races, since that works with the mileage and the meets are easier to fit into my schedule.