lalala wrote:
Personally I would not enjoy a ... country club gathering, but that's just me (nothing against you--to each his own!).
How do you know? An 80s party doesn't sound fun to you?
Or do you just like the idea of hating Country Clubs b/c you stereotype people?
lalala wrote:
Personally I would not enjoy a beerfest or country club gathering, but that's just me (nothing against you--to each his own!). We do regularly get-together with friends; just find exercise and outdoor activities (ex: hiking, canoeing) together more enjoyable.
We don't have kids but also enjoy time together with our pets, watching movies, reading, movies out, time with friends, traveling (although usually--almost always--our travel revolves around activity), renovating our house, searching for investment properties...just saying that all of that stuff would basically suck IMHO without running/other active activities done together. Essentially our most "alive" moments together as a couple, other than sex, have been forged on running/biking/hiking trails.
I get it, you are active. So are we. But do you have a life, too? Sounds like you don't.
Having "a life" does have to be going out with groups of people. It is all about what you enjoy.
Some people enjoy the large social setting of an 80's party or shopping. For others the same enjoyment can be found spending just with their SO hiking or biking. It depends on if you and your partner are introverts, extroverts, or one of each (which can be a challenge).
I've been with my husband 11 years (and married 7).
We met through running, but run seperately. To both of us, that is our alone time, where we recharge. We both run decent volume (70+ week), and even run with other people.
The key is setting time aside for just us. It took us a while to realize we needed to do that. So we set a couple of nights a week aside to do something together. It might be going to a play or concert, a group party, or a hike with the dog. Doesn't really matter as long as we are spending time together. We don't have kids, but are very busy with coaching, running, and our day jobs. Our Coaching and day jobs can take up as much as 60+ hr a week.
Running isn't going to tear a healthy relationship apart, but it will likely to the last straw in an already weak one. In that case so will a weekend out with the boys fishing, or a shopping trip, or your favorite TV show, or the grass not being cut,etc.
I belong too wrote:
lalala wrote:Personally I would not enjoy a ... country club gathering, but that's just me (nothing against you--to each his own!).
How do you know? An 80s party doesn't sound fun to you?
Or do you just like the idea of hating Country Clubs b/c you stereotype people?
No an 80's party does not sound fun to me. And why would anyone say that someone else doesn't have a life?? I never sad that about the person attending this party that sounds absolutely horribly dreadful to me.
I don't like parties, period, eighties, country club, beer, wine . . . it doesn't matter. Neither does my husband. So we don't have lives? People are different and therefore enjoy different activities. Some people like to hunt . . . I don't. Some people like sky-diving . . . I don't. So what?
No 80's parties for me either (I didn't enjoy the big hair the first time around). Neither my husband or I drink beer, so we would prefer biking or kayaking to those as well. Actually the group we do most of our social activities with are from a local running club.
So depending on who's defining, we probably are pretty boring people.
Though we did jump out of a perfectly good airplane together (twice) so maybe there is hope for us?
Our date today was shoveling out from 5 foot snow drifts!
At the end of the day it is about what makes you guys happy!
Midwest running chick wrote:
Neither my husband or I drink beer,
Warning: if your husband if from the midwest and doesn't drink beer, he is probably gay.
Another woman wrote:
I get it, you are active. So are we. But do you have a life, too? Sounds like you don't.
You know, when I first posted on this thread, I assumed that I was preaching to the choir about activity and only criticizing the general theme of the NYT article.
I know that everyone on this board if active. Actually, based on the general theme of most threads, I think most of them are more active than both my husband and I, particularly in light of recent injuries.
So I really don't understand why anyone would come onto this board and just start attacking another (presumably like-minded) runner. I really don't.
"As for Mr. Waxman, he honors certain rules: Dinner with his family every Friday night. A date with his wife every Saturday night. And as often as possible, he turns competitions into family trips. "I make sure there's enough vacation time with the family," he says."
WTF and his wife is giving him shit? Are you serious?
LOL! That's actually pretty funny!
(and my husband agrees...)
what a crappy, ludicrous article. I mourn for the three or four minutes it took me to read it.
My wife and I both train an hour or so a day, with a longer workout on one weekend day. Most of the time we take turns so someone's home with the kids but sometimes we train together (they're now old enough to be on their own for a few hours, no problem). We do running races together from time to time, although every once in a while she'll do one that I don't and vice versa. All this is cool. It's fun, and we enjoy each others' company.
A few years ago, she was really into triathlons and she started training for an ironman. She raced most weekends in addition to doing a long workout. When she wasn't training she was analyzing her workouts, preparing food for her workouts, reading about workouts, and going to be early because she was tired from her workouts. All she wanted to talk about was training and racing. She missed most of my kids games, their swim meets, and she never accompanied us on our trips to parks, museums, the city, etc. An post-nupital shutoff? You bet. It sucked, bad. We talked. That was her last ironman, and she hasn't even done many shorter triathlons since.
The husband in the article is an ironman triathlete, and he sounds just as bad or worse.
My fiance' and I are both marathoners. In fact, I asked her to marry me the day before we ran a marathon together.
We are entered in a contest and could really use the help of the running community! Please vote for us, you only need to vote once.
http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/entry/98340
Thanks for your vote!
Keep running!
Bump.
People need a hobby beyond just exercise to keep their lives balanced. Are you saying personal attacks on other runners for no reason other than self gratification is not a beneficial use of free time? You don't come around here very often, do you?
lalala wrote:
Another woman wrote:I get it, you are active. So are we. But do you have a life, too? Sounds like you don't.
You know, when I first posted on this thread, I assumed that I was preaching to the choir about activity and only criticizing the general theme of the NYT article.
I know that everyone on this board if active. Actually, based on the general theme of most threads, I think most of them are more active than both my husband and I, particularly in light of recent injuries.
So I really don't understand why anyone would come onto this board and just start attacking another (presumably like-minded) runner. I really don't.
I am married to a professional runner and it has put an incredible amount of strain on our relationship. When his/her priority is making a world/ olympic team year in, year out, your relationship takes the back seat big time. That said, I am VERY supportive of the running career and we have had great times together traveling and training, but I would be lying if I said that we haven't seriously considered calling it quits because running was the priority.
honestspouse wrote:
I am married to a professional runner and it has put an incredible amount of strain on our relationship. When his/her priority is making a world/ olympic team year in, year out, your relationship takes the back seat big time. That said, I am VERY supportive of the running career and we have had great times together traveling and training, but I would be lying if I said that we haven't seriously considered calling it quits because running was the priority.
Just out of curiosity, did your spouse spend more time on running (his or her job, after all) than he or she would have spent on some other job - say, lawyer, doctor or business executive?
Dumbest article I have tried to read in a long time. I gave up after a few paragraphs of mid to back of the pack people thinking that if they abandon everything but their training they will turn into an elite athlete. It doesn't work that way.
Then when the dream is gone, your wife is hooking up with Rico the pool boy and your kids have moved out what do you have left?
The folks in the article sound extreme and more than likely are not a reflection of your average runner, even letsrunner. The Waxman dude in the article just sounds like your typical type A addictive personality and if he wasn't doing triathlons would be spending all his time on the golf course, at work, strip club or some other hobby. That is just him.
I do not believe, in most cases, that running or exercising is selfish. You have to take care of yourself and if you can set a good example for your kids then you are much better for it. People will call you selfish for anything that you do by yourself but they are using the word improperly in my opinion.
Wise Guy wrote:
Just out of curiosity, did your spouse spend more time on running (his or her job, after all) than he or she would have spent on some other job - say, lawyer, doctor or business executive?
The difference is that running seeps into other parts of your life.
Sure, there are work-o-holics, but lets say an average lawyer works 70 hours a week. Obviously no one is going to work out 70 hours a week, so it seems like pro-running would be better... but wait.
Pro runner cannot drink, rarely go out to eat, go on a fun trip, hang out on a rainy day, randomly go hiking, stay up late and watch movies, etc etc etc... Yes, I understand there are exceptions, but it has to be planned, in line with diet/training/etc. It is stressful.
Pro runners are no fun when they are NOT working either, so I could see where it would be hard as hell. It is hard enough being married to a pregnant woman who cannot do anything fun, think about if that was your entire life.
New to this forum? wrote:
People need a hobby beyond just exercise to keep their lives balanced. Are you saying personal attacks on other runners for no reason other than self gratification is not a beneficial use of free time? You don't come around here very often, do you?
People don't need to bash other runners completely unprovoked to keep their lives balanced. And, yes, I have been reading and posting on this site for many years. I understand it's not unusual, but particularly female runners are usually nicer to each other. There's just no reason not to be. And I am entitled to express my feelings, which I did.
But honestly I don't really care. I'm just wasting time like everyone else when I come here. A little civility particularly between women and masters runners would be nice, but it doesn't really matter.