Married Folks: Doe's Your Spouse Nag You About Running

another perspective wrote:

She is resentful of the freedom you enjoy as a man/father who works outside the home. Yes, you both have sacrified your hobbies, free-time, sleep, etc. for the benefit of your child. However, it is clear she has sacrified the most in her life for her family (as most mothers do whether or not they work outside the home).

You need to be more understanding/respectful of her feelings and have an open (non-defensive) conversation with her about what she wants in her life right now. Let her know you are concerned and want to help her find happiness in her life. Then follow through.

Well stated. Also to add, maybe she's not happy the way she looks (can't get the extra inches or pounds off, no matter how hard she tries) or she feels "guilty" leaving her kids behind while she work outs because she's used to being with them all the time.

The key is having BOTH of you try and understand each other. Like 'another perspective' stated have non-defensive constructive conversations.

My spouse has not problem with my running but does nag me about wasting time on runner forums.

'Not every poster on this board must be from the US, or UK'

You must be Canadian then

I still think you need to go out more. Coming back from a bar hammered might put things into context. If you had hobbies a lot of other guys have; fishing, golfing, hiking, hunting you would be out much longer than for running

Maybe try taking the family out to a park at weekends and try and get a run in then. Offer to take the dog for a walk and run with it!

I don't think your wife is interested in running anymore, but you are. Don't give up on it

I'm married not got kids though so will wait & see!

Just been reading an excellent book on mountaineering. The boys of Everest - Clint Willis

I nearly fell off ice climbing one (protection at least 50ft below) and decided hiking and running was better for me!

I have young children, and both me and my wife workout 1-1.5 5-6 days a week. Every morning starts with what do you have today (meaning what workout) then we work around each others respective runs/workouts. Never been an issue. Sometimes the kids get in the way and one of us chooses to cut a workout short or skip a workout but those are self-sacrafices not spousal. We also both have full-time jobs but make it all work.

We just happen to prioritize working out over other things, we could probably have a cleaner house, go grocery shoppping (rather than have groceries delivered), go out on more dates or go see movies together, hang out with friends moreoften etc. But we choose to use our free time to stay fit.

Bottom line the whole: if you have kids you can't workout is crap. You just have to prioritize working out over other things. My life priorities go: kids,wife,work,working out....everything else.

Random apostrophe alert! wrote:

Looks like my crew has already taken care of business--nothing for me to do besides giving you a metaphorical pat on the back:

Well done, lads!

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Which, by a natural and easy transition, reminds me: what's the deal with people's* adding extra syllables to words, to make them really intense or something? I'm getting plenty tired of seeing/hearing things like "penultimate" (to mean "really, really the ultimate"--which it doesn't) and "malingering" (to mean "really, really hanging around you should just leave"--which it doesn't).

Grump, grump, grump...

*Don't start with me on this one. "Adding" is a gerund. It takes the possessive.

I hope you're kidding with the penultimate thing.

Not married here but a comment: some of the fittest people I know/see have baby joggers and use them religiously. Combined with an indoor treadmill/training bike, getting around the "toddler issue" is quite doable.

Any of you heard of Michael Wardian? Christine Clark? Might be a good idea to take their example, in some measure.

For the record, I am 26 year old female and these posts are scaring the SH*t out of me!! Why would anyone nag their significant other about running? I mean unless you were running obsessively to the point it was some weird unhealthy problem you had and you were obviously hurting yourself, that is absolutely nuts to complain about. It's hard enough as it is to find a guy in his mid twenties who is dedicated enough to stay in shape and look good but 30's and 40s? I'm fairly sure your wife should be supportive of the fact you are active and healthy. Not to mention there is just something overall more actractive about someone who enjoys working out on a normal basis; they are less unhappy and more confident and it shows.

runner wife wrote:

My spouse has not problem with my running but does nag me about wasting time on runner forums.

Mine too!

He'd especially be annoyed that I am on here right now writing about him. whoops!

Neliah2507 wrote:

For the record, I am 26 year old female and these posts are scaring the SH*t out of me!! Why would anyone nag their significant other about running?

Don't worry, this shouldn't be a problem for you. When was the last time you heard someone say, "My husband is always nagging me about_____?" or, "My husband is worried that I spend too much time trying to be healthy and attractive?"

good god ernest hemingway, use some paragraphs!!!

Newname, your post is GOLD!

You are showing that you cannot/will not be controlled (changed) by a woman, and many women want/need to do this, hence your non married status. There is something about many relationships where a person can ONLY be happy when the other is not. I call it the happiness-sadness sea-saw.

It may also be a lack of trust thing. If a middle aged guy is remaining attractive by running and is happy (because he is running) then his wife will be questioning just why he is really happy? I reckon that a lot of guys have the best of intentions in their relationship but are then pushed into cheating, because if your wife is going to treat you badly because she thinks you are (even when you are not), then you'll get to a point of wanting to cheat anyway, as at least the mistress will treat you better, because she does not HAVE you. A lot of the time women are just in a competition against other women, and us men are really just getting in the way. If you become fat and unattractive then she doesn't have any competition.

yung buck wrote:

Wow you guys are wimps. You let your wives push you around? No wonder this country is going down the tubes.

If you can't stand up for your rights as a person, how can you be expected to open up on important political issues like immigration and government waste?

You can't. You've been programmed to be beta males, and not alpha males.

Your children will end up not respecting you, your wife will only use you until your 'all used up', and when you're older you will even begin to question your manhood.

Your obviously not married. If you are you will be divorced very soon.

Pardon the spelling - "You're obviously not married."

One thing that helped my wife and I out was learning to properly communicate in each others' love language. It might sound stupid but it allowed us to recognize what makes each other happy. This is the book on it.

http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Heartfelt-Commitment/dp/1881273156

And this is his actual site.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Wise Guy wrote:

Neliah2507 wrote:

For the record, I am 26 year old female and these posts are scaring the SH*t out of me!! Why would anyone nag their significant other about running?

Don't worry, this shouldn't be a problem for you. When was the last time you heard someone say, "My husband is always nagging me about_____?" or, "My husband is worried that I spend too much time trying to be healthy and attractive?"

Actually, it DOES work both ways. It's not only women who complain. My ex-husband, a former competitive runner, did have an issue with my running when he no longer spent so much time on it. Of course, there was more to it than that, but running was an issue.

get a running stroller and take her and the kid with you....

fdasfsdfsdfa wrote:

I hope you're kidding with the penultimate thing.

Oh, I wish I were. If "antepenultimate" were in more common use, I can guarantee you that some people would use it to mean "really, really, REALLY the ultimate."

No, but my ex-husband did.

It sounds like your wife would like more attention from you. She probably wants to know that she's your TOP priority, along with you child. As long as she knows that and feels that in her heart, she won't care if you're running a couple of hours a day.

Talk to her, find out what she needs from you and your marriage, and then do what you can to make sure she gets it. She will give back to you ten-fold. (I hope).

My spouse bugs me about running too!! A few years back she basically said that I was an @$$ when I hadn't been running for a while.

Its not like I was that way on purpose, the stress just ratchets up without an outlet.

You are doing your wife a favor by running. Keep it up, but try to convince her its best for you and your family--because it is.