whats the funniest thing you have hear coaches/spectators say during races?

We hosted a smaller track meet late in the spring, I think it was on a Tuesday. Just the local schools showed and basically used it as a workout. One coach from another school was going to run the 800. We went out in 53, which some of us were more use to doing than others. The coach was the first person to finish not from our school and upon cross the line he looked at us and said, "f**king 53!? What were you doing?" It was pretty funny.

"500 Babies!"

"When I run I sweat like a pony!"

Some crazy guy.

Sometimes before our State meet I will huddle the guys up and say be smart, compete, blah blah blah, then I say "Run like a pack of hemmeroids(sp)"

They usulally bust up laughing and it takes the pressure off.

I also make up nicknames for them and yell stuff inserting their nickname, they dig it. Some even crack a smile and tell me it helps keep them relaxed during races.

One of my runners was running by a coach who was yelling at my kid saying " He sucks"! to his runners as he was pointing at my runner. My runner turned around and gave him the finger.

Another time one of my girls was running a race and mooned the girl behind her. The opposing coaches laughed both incidents off and I gave both a lot of pushups. LOL

Monty

my coach yelled once "youre a f*@%!&g champion"

"Go, Buffy Rabbit!!" I'm sorry, but that is just a funny name (apologies to Buffy) and it cracked me up when I heard it while racing a pre-ncaa race. It still cracks me up to this day. Anyway, so far I vote for "quick hands" and "Hoover" but I have not read them all as I need to get back to work!

My college coach has a stable of great lines. When you go out too slow he makes sure you know it when he reads off your split "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday..." Also a favorite of his is "Do anything!" when you're in a funk.

My favorite because this was directed at me, we were at a smaller meet near our school, against some other D3 schools and one NAIA school with a stud kenyan. The kenyan takes off and my teammate and I are near the front of the chasing pack, having one of my best days ever and pull away into second. As soon as I pull away and coach sees me starts yelling "You're the first American! You're the first American!" It felt great and was my best finish in any college race.

I like this years chicago marathon in the last few hundred meters. "What balls this guy has!"

When I was running XC in High School I heard a parent tell their little dumpling to "use your legs!!!"

Im not sure what the plan was before that, but it was a good change of strategy I'm sure.

Old Runner wrote:

When I was running XC in High School I heard a parent tell their little dumpling to "use your legs!!!"

Im not sure what the plan was before that, but it was a good change of strategy I'm sure.

That's better advice than those idiot coaches who yell "use your arms!!!" Not going to go very fast running on them, that's for sure.

when my high school coach used to give us splits and we were running slow he'd just say "Tuesday...Wednesday...Thursday..."

Not sure any race compares to a girls high school XC race in terms of pure and utter comedy.

Between the dads screaming "Now's when you make your move!!!" to the pack of girls going by the 2 mile mark in 17:30, to the girls staggering across the line absolutely sobbing, and getting mobbed by orange slice wielding teammates.

It's just great

I heard a guy telling his kid, who was about 200 yards from the finish of a cross-country race, to "HURRY UP, JOHNNY!" That seemed like an odd way to tell someone to kick it in, like the boy was late for church or something. A few seconds later, almost as an afterthought and right when the kid was going by, he yelled "HURRY THE HELL UP!" This was a regional championship on a tough course and the kid was running close to 16:00 flat, so it wasn't like the dad was unfamiliar with the whole scene or the kid didn't know he was supposed to get to the finish line as quickly as possible. I did give the dad (I'm assuming it was his dad) points for originality, but the whole one-sided exchange reminded me of the scene in The Breakfast Club when Bender is recounting his dysfunctional family Christmas and his dad's exhortation of "SMOKE UP, JOHNNY!"

Once heard Ray Tracy scream "put the final nail in the coffin" at one of his girls at xc regionals.

We had a team with a 20 second 1-7 spread my 2nd year of college and were running at University of Alaska Anchorage. Two guys were out front, one from my school one from UA, and then there was a large pack. At the two mile mark my coach yells at my team mate, who was leading the pack with me, “Don’t even then about it!”

Some other favorites, “You’ve got both smoke stacks burning!” “The waters over the dam!”

"Don't let your meat loaf."

-Paul Shea, 1989 Pan-American 500m gold medalist

No matter how many times I hear it I laugh lol

It you don't catch that ginger kid, Imma cut your f***ing balls off.

"Son, it's the third 200 of the 800 where you grow an extra johnson"..my college coach

When I first started running track in Jr High, I was 1 of 2 distance runners. I was the good one and usually led from the gun. At the same time Forrest Gump had just come out and every time running down the backstretch the rest of the track team would start yelling, "Run, Eddie, Run!!!". I tried not to pay attention but every time I had to smile and nod my head at them. Thank God they never said "Stop!!" or i wouldn't be running today.