Nah.
1 v 1 the chimp snatches up your pike. Smashes it. Proceeds to have its way with your face.
Two humans with pikes (and some closer range back-up weapon) would make it more fair.
Nah.
1 v 1 the chimp snatches up your pike. Smashes it. Proceeds to have its way with your face.
Two humans with pikes (and some closer range back-up weapon) would make it more fair.
Always carry when around chimps.
moral of the story wrote:
Always carry when around chimps.
Better be carrying .454 Casull.
seesee wrote:
So the lady in connecticut was mauled by a large chimp. It got me thinking, what would happen to me in that situation? Say you had no way to escape or use a weapon, I'm 180 lbs, and fairly strong (300 squat) but I've read chimps are roughly 4-7 times "stronger" than humans. I think I would try to confuse him by running circles around him, try to get on his back and choke him out or gouge his eyes. Anything to avoid letting him get on top of me. The question is, do you think that you would end up the same as that woman if you were put into that situation?
You seem to think that evrey body weighing 200 pounds is equally as strong.
They aren't.
You woldn't last 10 seconds with an angry chimp. It would pull your arms off then eat your face
A couple years ago, I heard an interview with Ron Magill on the Dan LeBatard Show on ESPN radio. He is a wildlife expert with the Miami Zoo. Someone asked him how an MMA fighter would do against a chimpanzee. Basically, he said once the chimp locks his jaws on the MMA fighter's crotch, it's game over. He said there is zero chance a human can defeat a chimpanzee in hand to hand combat.
A chimps grip strength is orders of magnitude stronger than a human, their bite will rip out chunks of flesh in seconds, they can bite off fingers, toes instantly. They are capable of pulling your arms out of your sockets.
I have an uncle who is a vet tech at a local zoo. In the back of the ape cage, they have a car tire hanging on the wall. It is there to remind everyone of the strength of these animals. The tire is turned inside out and was done so for fun by one of the male orangutans. With just his hands/forearms!
Here's a 180 lb orangutan winning a tug of war against a 363 lb sumo wrestler, easily.
seesee wrote:
I think I would try to confuse him by running circles around him, try to get on his back and choke him out or gouge his eyes. Anything to avoid letting him get on top of me.
This sounds like the same strategies fake martial artists think they could use against MMA fighters. Eye gouging is kind of difficult when your fingers are getting bitten off. The chances that you would be able to take a chimp's back are slim to none. More problematic is how are you going to hold him there if you can't get any hooks in (get your legs around his). Chimps have little stubby legs and feet that can function as a pair of hands; They could easily escape a rear naked choke. Or They would just rip/bite the muscles off your forearms. I definitely would avoid grappling. I'd resort to kicks to the face but eventually he'd catch one and it would be all over from there. The tearing off your genitals move is frightening. Pretty sure I'd rather be attacked by a pitbull.
I'm surprised that on a site dedicated to competitive distance running nobody has mentioned outrunning the chimp. I think if you could out sprint the chimp over 100m or so you'd have a good chance. Then it would be a matter of exhausting it over a lenghty pursuit.
This guy couldn't wrote:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2169089/Andrew-Oberle-Chimp-attack-student-badly-mauled-parents-left-traumatised.html
More details about his injuries. Wow. To those people who said that they could "confuse" a chimp by running around,etc. lol, you're gonna be dead quick.
"Oberle is wheeled straight into an operating room, and a crowd of doctors gathers to inspect his injuries. The chimps tore away his scalp down to the skull. His ears and nose are gone, and he can’t close his right eye. He has wounds on his trunk and all four limbs. He’s lost most of his fingers, and his right forearm has been eaten, the tendons gone. He’s lost parts of his feet, and his right ankle is destroyed. Kraemer refuses to cast aspersions on the lifesaving care that Oberle received in Africa, but many of the skin grafts aren’t taking, and his body is riddled with infection. As the doctors take stock, a trauma surgeon notices that Oberle has a gastric feeding tube in that’s clogged and not working. He tells Oberle that he’s going to remove it on a count of three, says “One,†and yanks. It’s one of the only times during his entire three-year recovery that Oberle will let his pain show."
"About half his foot has been gnawed off..."
re: grip strength. The NY Times had a long piece several years ago about the nutjobs who raise chimps as pets. One anecdote from the story: a woman was letting a pet chimp clean her teeth (apparently a socialization ritual, like grooming), and the chimp pulled out a molar from the woman with a thumb and one finger.
As scary as a chimp sounds, where would it fare against nature's two greatest predators, a Siberian tiger or a grizzly? Probably not well. Makes you realize how ill equipped we are to deal with wild animals without weapons.
doot doot wrote:
Nah.
1 v 1 the chimp snatches up your pike. Smashes it. Proceeds to have its way with your face.
Two humans with pikes (and some closer range back-up weapon) would make it more fair.
I am an experienced and cunning spearman and the chimp would have no chance.
Maybe spear newbies would have some trouble. But that just goes to show, you better learn to use a spear. It's what your hands evolved to do for MILLIONS of years! You are a machine designed to sharpen a rock, attach it to a stick and stab big animals. Know your nature.
One Monkey Guy wrote:
Just to add...
The grandmother's house was totaled by the monkey. Every single light was pulled from the wall, the drywall was torn to shreds, furniture was shredded, etc. The place literally had to be gutted and remodeled, top to bottom.
To add a bit of context, this is a very, very well-to-do family. Although they are from rural SC, they are all very well educated and have more money than God, so this isn't a bunch of toothless moonshiners running around. The house is probably a 2 million dollar home.
Yeah, but they still have to live around the people in SC. And in SC.
This guy couldn't wrote:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2169089/Andrew-Oberle-Chimp-attack-student-badly-mauled-parents-left-traumatised.html
From the top rated comment:
I was a zookeeper who worked with chimps, and I know how incredibly dangerous these animals can be. I'd rather be attacked by a lion than a chimp; at least a lion will kill you quick - a chimp will dissect you.
Chimps have been historically observed to attack the genitals and faces of their victims. They are cunning, extremely strong and fast, and quite smart. Keep in mind they are evolved to live in jungles with all the associated challenges etc. Humans developed their brains so they didn't need the extra strength and sturdiness and got out of the jungle... So unless you're packing a high powered gun forget it...
To think that humans still interbred with chimps after our lineage split from theirs is scary.
Makes you wonder what type of man it took to go into a Chimp troop and take their women.
Probably happened the other way around.
I could do it on pure hate
Simian Bride wrote:
To think that humans still interbred with chimps after our lineage split from theirs is scary.
Makes you wonder what type of man it took to go into a Chimp troop and take their women.
Probably happened the other way around.
Not true