Best Road Race Fake Names

Joe Black = anti-fun

Joe Black,

Remember when you wrote this - "so I moved on to greener pastures..."?

Go on back to those greener pastures, eat and be full THERE. Be a man of your word. That is the only way you will get any respect here.

Anyone who has to resort to using the word "retarded" doesn't have enough command of the English language to communicate effectively, so away with you.

Knower,

Ahhhh, so nice to see your continued and absolute fascination (obsession??) with me. I am flattered to have my own personal historian, documenting my every word, following my every move. Can't wait to see the screenplay, let's just hope you work with me so that its authorized.

Anyway, here is my post again. See if you can follow the point this time around (hint: post actual links with fake names, much more entertaining and persuasive than the "I ran as this"; plus, under an assumed name, no one will know who you are anyway):

"Nice to see you clowns all watch the Simpsons and are pathological liars.

Right, someone registered as Adolf Hitler and actually ran the race? Give me a break.

A more interesting thread would have links to race results, with time and place, instead of unverified claims of being clever (in your own mind, of course) and brazen. True, all this is childish and sophomoric; however, it is absolutely retarded to talk about how funny it would be if [insert tired use of name that sounds funny] won a race.

BTW, I have it on good authority that a certain punctuation marker will be racing this weekend."

No need to read your babble a second time. There is nothing of value that it would provide me.

You are simply a wrench in the works, a fly in the ointment, a violently ill child at a birthday party, a troll on a message board. My discussion will end with you shortly, because matching wits with you is like beating the 8-year-old kid next door in home run derby - no challenge, no satisfaction. Being a troll like you are is one thing, but I wish at least you had some wit, intelligence, or humor to go with it. Unfortunately for all of us, you are sans all of those things. My only comment to you earlier was to point out to you that you are not a man of your word. I don't give you a second thought other than like when a mosquito lands on you, you swat it every time.

I like to use Justin Credable, it's always fun to hear the them say, "and first place was Justin Credable" .... yes he was, thanks.

If you undestand the connotation

Richard Cranium

Knower,

See the post below, AGAIN. Let's see if the third time is a charm. I'm doubting that it will be, but I enjoy a hopeless charity case when I find one. You say "There is nothing of value it will provide me", after conceding that you have in fact read the post once (i.e., "No need to read your babble a second time"). Here's another clue for you: if you had the reading comprehension of that 8 year old you played in home run derby, you'd see that I'm not looking to provide you with any value, I'm looking for one of these frauds to post a link proving that they actually ran under one of the fictitious names they claimed. Again, and I'm using crayons this time for your and their benefit: (i) 90% of all races outside of Tennessee have results on the web; and (ii) no one should be concerned about their respective times in such races, so anonymity is preserved (their times would likely warrant ridicule, mind you).

"Nice to see you clowns all watch the Simpsons and are pathological liars.

Right, someone registered as Adolf Hitler and actually ran the race? Give me a break.

A more interesting thread would have links to race results, with time and place, instead of unverified claims of being clever (in your own mind, of course) and brazen. True, all this is childish and sophomoric; however, it is absolutely retarded to talk about how funny it would be if [insert tired use of name that sounds funny] won a race.

BTW, I have it on good authority that a certain punctuation marker will be racing this weekend."

Spike Donniepio

Andy Waiwegeaux

Joe Black,

Dude, I got the point of your e-mail the first time. That's why I said you were anti-fun. Who gives a crap if next to no one actually used those names? What are you a truth monger? You were trying to be funny or witty or both with that first post of yours, and you were neither. Humor and wit is not your gift. I suggest you try again with something else. Again, with every post you prove that you are NOT a man of your word. I thought you had greener pastures? Go back to those green pastures, for according to you, the grass here is brown.

I am now finished with you on this topic, and you will note that unlike you, I AM a man of my word.

Knower,

Is everything about the great Joe Black? I feel like Eminem right now. I simply asked for proof that some of these people ran under the names that they claimed to have run under. Again, I find it highly unlikely that someone ran a race under the name Adolf Hitler. Not only are these fools cowards, but they are tacky as well.

I don't think that makes me a troll. If anything, I am making the thread better. You then dig out your rolodex of "Great Quotes by He of One Hour", and proceed to take my wisdom out of context. Seems you also have a template of retorts, which grows more tiresome by the thread: (i) first: "Joe, you said you have moved to greener pastures, you are not a man of your word" (and attaining the respect of a coward who posts anonymously is a goal of mine, I assure you); and (ii) "Joe, I'm not debating you anymore, and I am a man of my word" (this is the best one of all: translation: "I'm not debating you anymore on THIS thread, however, I am compelled to respond to each post of yours on OTHER threads").

Classic schizophrenia, my friend. Oh well, pay your homage directly to KK and I shall continue to be amused by your rants. Alternatively, you can contact he of One Hour at

teamonehour@yahoo.com

Karl Paranya

Somewhat related - a friend and I both had our names mispronounced at a road race (his got engraved on a plaque), and we still call each other by the mispronounced names, years later. We had English and Scottish surnames, and the race director made us both into Italians.

Ohk Aye

Real race results for Hugh Jorgan, Richard Cranium, Cisco Kid & Sundance Kid (They actually are brothers who used to run for the Farm Team using their real names).

First

Name Last

Name

Place Sex

Place Div

Place

Age

Sex

Time

Pace

Date

Race Name

Hugh Jorgan 31 29 0 0 M 0:39:33 5:18 05/21/00 Bay to Breakers 12K

Hugh Jorgan 135 123 54 35 M 41:39 6:42 11/29/98 Run to the Far Side 10K

Richard Cranium 2292 1670 292 28 M 4:24:14 10:05 07/13/97 San Francisco Marathon

Cisco Kid 18 18 7 26 M 0:15:48 5:05 09/16/01 Jamba Juice 5K Banana Man Chase

Sundance Kid 14 14 6 28 M 0:15:38 5:01 09/16/01 Jamba Juice 5K Banana Man Chase

Also, I recently saw someone interviewed on the news protesting the closure of a medicinal marijuana club. The name he gave, and it was printed on the screen, was Ramm Dass.

Joe Black:

Regarding the stuff below - HA HA!

Hugh Jorgan 31 29 0 0 M 0:39:33 5:18 05/21/00 Bay to Breakers 12K

Hugh Jorgan 135 123 54 35 M 41:39 6:42 11/29/98 Run to the Far Side 10K

Richard Cranium 2292 1670 292 28 M 4:24:14 10:05 07/13/97 San Francisco Marathon

Cisco Kid 18 18 7 26 M 0:15:48 5:05 09/16/01 Jamba Juice 5K Banana Man Chase

Sundance Kid 14 14 6 28 M 0:15:38 5:01 09/16/01 Jamba Juice 5K Banana Man Chase

Also, I recently saw someone interviewed on the news protesting the closure of a medicinal marijuana club. The name he gave, and it was printed on the screen, was Ramm Dass.

Very nice indeed.

Just wanted some proof. I have it. Very nice indeed.

Kudos, Mr Jorgan

Hugh G. Rection

This is a REAL name, and as far as I know, he never raced, but my late, great-uncle's name is Harry Orgain (pronounced "organ").....and if that weren't enough, he named his son (my cousin) Harry Jr. !

In keeping with the need to supply proof on this board, you may look Mr. Orgain up in a telephone number search in Tennessee.

John,

That is pretty funny; and why doesn't it surprise me that the search would start and end in Tennessee?

This uncle of yours wouldn't happen to be your brother would he?

Joe (free passes to tonight's soccer scrimmage) Black