A woman who has below average looks, gets hot men, but is deluded by thinking she can get hot men?
Clowns
Men have far lower standards than women. Many men would jump in bed with a random “5” they barely know. The vast majority of women wouldn’t sleep with a 5 they don’t know
You won’t find dates on apps, just disappointment. At 20 you are probably in school and women your age are everywhere. Join some groups, such as a run club, where you will can casually interact with them regularly.
This^
Adding my own thoughts, women are attracted to confidence. It's instinctual to be attracted to someone they can rely on.
I always had an easy time dating girls mostly because while the other guys were all of the easy "hot" girls I was way more attracted to the smart girls who were just as attractive.
Anyway, I have been married for a while but I think things have not changed much. You don't have to approach girls cold. Join a group and make friends first. You will get the vibe if someone shows some interest, then go on a run, go for coffee, etc. You'll know when or if you can break through the friend status.
Unless you have a really good beard, probably best to go clean shaven. Less guys can pull off the beard than they think.
Also focus on muscles. Unlike what you may read on this board, women cannot see your 5k time at the bar (nor would most know what it means). But they can see your biceps.
Finally your best bet is joining a run club or groups like that. Your odds on dating apps are low. Your south Asian and those guys get the least amount of matches. It's just the truth sorry. Hinge if you have to is probably your best option. Bars will be tough, but doable if you dress well and gave a solid friend group as backup if you strike out
Don't use apps as your primary way of meeting someone. They're fine for a supplemental route if need be. Big thing: Get out there. If you're at work, get out from behind the desk. If you're shopping or out in public, smile and do your best to seem approachable. Don't be afraid to say "hi" or better yet, ask for help. At the pet store? "What sweater would look best on my blind, two legged rescue pup?" Maybe it's an employee you ask, or the girl who smiled at you on the way in the door. Socialize: Group runs. Races. Training runs. Join a running club. Join a church. Volunteer. Network. Network. Network. It isn't just for work. Do whatever you need to do to NOT be sitting home hoping that an app is going to be the answer to your problem. You don't have to be a 10. Women like a confident man. If you look like a 7, but have the confidence of a 9, you'll be fine. It doesn't happen overnight, but it will happen. Best wishes.
You won’t find dates on apps, just disappointment. At 20 you are probably in school and women your age are everywhere. Join some groups, such as a run club, where you will can casually interact with them regularly.
I got beat by a woman (30) by one place in a race (I was 64). We became friends after that and then were both in a weekly running group. We ended up dating for 4 months. If we didn't have such an age gap we probably would still be together.
It was just a natural meeting and neither of us had any idea that we would be together some day after becoming friends.
This is honest advice- look up why younger women like older men. You may already be that way but really- it's all about being a gentleman.
TBH you probably don't want the type of woman who would go for the football watching, pick up truck "alpha male".
A woman who has below average looks, gets hot men, but is deluded by thinking she can get hot men?
Clowns
Men have far lower standards than women. Many men would jump in bed with a random “5” they barely know. The vast majority of women wouldn’t sleep with a 5 they don’t know
I don’t know what you think is “many men” but the same could be said of many women.
There is a difference between men and women in sex-seekingness just like any other attribute but it comes with a distribution, not unlike strength or speed, that modestly and statistically significantly differs in the median (or any percentile), but men and women are much more similar than they are different in that most of the distribution overlaps, sort of like two hills moved apart by about 10-20% of their width.
You won’t find dates on apps, just disappointment. At 20 you are probably in school and women your age are everywhere. Join some groups, such as a run club, where you will can casually interact with them regularly.
I got beat by a woman (30) by one place in a race (I was 64). We became friends after that and then were both in a weekly running group. We ended up dating for 4 months. If we didn't have such an age gap we probably would still be together.
It was just a natural meeting and neither of us had any idea that we would be together some day after becoming friends.
This is honest advice- look up why younger women like older men. You may already be that way but really- it's all about being a gentleman.
TBH you probably don't want the type of woman who would go for the football watching, pick up truck "alpha male".
You won’t find dates on apps, just disappointment. At 20 you are probably in school and women your age are everywhere. Join some groups, such as a run club, where you will can casually interact with them regularly.
I got beat by a woman (30) by one place in a race (I was 64). We became friends after that and then were both in a weekly running group. We ended up dating for 4 months. If we didn't have such an age gap we probably would still be together.
It was just a natural meeting and neither of us had any idea that we would be together some day after becoming friends.
This is honest advice- look up why younger women like older men. You may already be that way but really- it's all about being a gentleman.
TBH you probably don't want the type of woman who would go for the football watching, pick up truck "alpha male".
Flip side is that they don’t see you as a father to their children because your ego drives you to be immature and arrogant. That’s why it couldn’t last. You’re just the last to find out.
A woman who has below average looks, gets hot men, but is deluded by thinking she can get hot men?
Clowns
Men have far lower standards than women. Many men would jump in bed with a random “5” they barely know. The vast majority of women wouldn’t sleep with a 5 they don’t know
this is not what the data says. the data says it's men who emphasize looks.
you also continue to confuse photo-driven apps with real life.
I don't think you guys realize that many men have an impossible time meeting women.
because their idea of social mixing is get a male dominated degree, work in a male dominated workplace, then go to a club or bar -- places where money and looks rule -- or swipe on an app -- which first thing they are scrolling on is looks.
and maybe act like a knuckle dragger when they're doing that. because they hang around dudes all day.
hint: not a lot of this is where laid back women can be found. they're either a sausage fest or a meatmarket.
broaden your interests. broaden where you look for love. and just talk to people. lots of people. be interested in them as humans and not beauty scores.
I got beat by a woman (30) by one place in a race (I was 64). We became friends after that and then were both in a weekly running group. We ended up dating for 4 months. If we didn't have such an age gap we probably would still be together.
It was just a natural meeting and neither of us had any idea that we would be together some day after becoming friends.
This is honest advice- look up why younger women like older men. You may already be that way but really- it's all about being a gentleman.
TBH you probably don't want the type of woman who would go for the football watching, pick up truck "alpha male".
LOLs you're so weird, I'm not dating teenagers.
I don't date teenagers. If you want to date women in the 30+ age range you have to be act like a man.
I'm weird for dating women? If you're gay, that's ok you can date who you want.
i want to play soccer, maybe play coed league instead of men's.
i like art, maybe take a class instead of just do it alone at home.
i'd like to learn to surf, maybe take a class instead of hire a personal lesson.
you're not being fake, you're pursuing your interests. pursuing interests can improve confidence which translates to dealing with people. and you meet people with those interests in common.
if you're religious, lots of churches have singles groups.
it also wouldn't hurt if you balanced out hanging with the guys who want to drink beers and watch sports together, with hanging with the friends who socialize and have female single friends.
I got beat by a woman (30) by one place in a race (I was 64). We became friends after that and then were both in a weekly running group. We ended up dating for 4 months. If we didn't have such an age gap we probably would still be together.
It was just a natural meeting and neither of us had any idea that we would be together some day after becoming friends.
This is honest advice- look up why younger women like older men. You may already be that way but really- it's all about being a gentleman.
TBH you probably don't want the type of woman who would go for the football watching, pick up truck "alpha male".
Flip side is that they don’t see you as a father to their children because your ego drives you to be immature and arrogant. That’s why it couldn’t last. You’re just the last to find out.
They didn't see me as arrogant but they did see confidence. It's little things but that's what they tell me. They don't want "boys" who don't know how to treat a woman. You will often hear young women talking about how hard it is to find a real man. And, I've only dated two younger women since my marriage ended 8 years ago.
I'm just trying to answer the question.
I know that a lot of younger people in their 20's think that the guy has to be a macho, arrogant jerk. That's not true. Be confident and treat her the way a woman should be treated.
More and more young women are giving up on finding someone suitable and I completely understand why a 30 looks to the future and sees herself as 50 and me as 86 and that's not appealing.
Young guys with that "old fashioned" gentleman demeanor are rare.
TBH, I'll probably be lonely in the end. I'm not going to settle for someone just be with someone (I know a guy who did that and he's miserable).
And I'm not saying that I won't date women close to my age- I have and I will.
Most running clubs are just jogfests and most people are just there to socialize. I can't understand why anyone would recommend them on a RUNNING website.
Flip side is that they don’t see you as a father to their children because your ego drives you to be immature and arrogant. That’s why it couldn’t last. You’re just the last to find out.
They didn't see me as arrogant but they did see confidence. It's little things but that's what they tell me. They don't want "boys" who don't know how to treat a woman. You will often hear young women talking about how hard it is to find a real man. And, I've only dated two younger women since my marriage ended 8 years ago.
I'm just trying to answer the question.
I know that a lot of younger people in their 20's think that the guy has to be a macho, arrogant jerk. That's not true. Be confident and treat her the way a woman should be treated.
More and more young women are giving up on finding someone suitable and I completely understand why a 30 looks to the future and sees herself as 50 and me as 86 and that's not appealing.
Young guys with that "old fashioned" gentleman demeanor are rare.
TBH, I'll probably be lonely in the end. I'm not going to settle for someone just be with someone (I know a guy who did that and he's miserable).
And I'm not saying that I won't date women close to my age- I have and I will.
Yeah, listen to relationship advice from a guy who can't sustain an enduring one. Did those women tell you what it was about you that made them want to get away from you, too? Probably not, or at least you won't cop to it here.
I am average looking and felt awkward around women at your age. I just changed my attitude, joined a few groups, and started speaking up and saying what I felt more often. I also purposefully listened more carefully to others - actually listened without speaking over them. I found that I became more confident over time. The first girl I asked out was someone I had “noticed” for a while. She was very pretty (out of reach, I once believed!) but we often talked while in a group. Asking her out actually felt natural. She agreed to go out and we started a long term relationship.