Married for a long time. run and train when it doesn’t conflict. Ie morning when everyone sleeps. Make her feel special and say she’s right then sign up for one in a year or so
Eh? 330 is a phenomenal marathon time, not sub-elite, but not far off.
Top 10% for sure
3:30 wouldn't even put you in the top 55% for men in Boston this year.
That's a marathon that runners famously have to qualify for (excepting charity donors, etc.) so not representative of the average marathon. It only includes the faster subset of marathoners.
You need to sleep after your long run for recovery? Of course you’re tired and of course it would help you recover a bit faster. But you’re not a man. You’re a boy. You only think of yourself. You sound like a narcissist and a weak man.
And all this for sub 3:30? You must be a troll for sure.
Typical today. You're both selfish. She's selfish for not wanting to allow you to do what you love to do and you're selfish because of comments about not being able to run in the morning or go out on Saturdays. I told my wife before we got married that I was a runner and I was going to run, sometimes when she didn't like it. BUT I told her I would do anything else she wanted me to do. And I do. Sometimes I have to work harder after a 20-mile run that I did during the 20-mile run. Sometimes I have to compromise my workouts or long run to do what she wants to do. It's give and take. And we have no arguments.
If you don’t have any kids, you should have plenty of time for marathon training and family. If she’s upset with you, it’s not the running, it’s you. Perhaps she doesn’t want to confront the fact that you’re a lousy husband or her expectations of marriage are unrealistic. Also, threatening divorce over something as trivial as marathon training without attempts to simply “ask” for you to reduce training load is a red flag for HER communication as well.
This would be my response: “I’m sorry it’s bothering you, and want to reduce it after hearing this. However, you haven’t so much as asked me to reduce the training load and suddenly now you’re threatening a divorce? Why haven’t you brought this up in a different why?”
-she will say something about subtle hints etc-
“Please don’t escalate from subtle hints to threatening divorce with me. Of course I’m willing to change my training for my marriage, but I don’t want my wife threatening divorce to get me to change.”
If you value the marriage and the communication issue is a speed bump for you, steer this thing toward marriage counseling. I will say, most people have major communication gaps in relationships. If you two can figure this out, you’ll be much better off.
Wait, sub 3:30 is a goal? Are your a man or woman? My wife ran a 3:20 in her 1st marathon with two mornings and 1 long run a week. Qualified for Boston, ran that, then that's it.... Why would you keep running marathons after one or two? Take up weight lifting. you can set up gym in your spare room and eat real food and spend some time with your honey. maybe even get on some T "therapy" and get to servicing her. She'll turn on like a rabbit.
I train 5 evenings a week, by the time I'm home the evenings done. I work 9-5 so can't run in the day, or in the mornings as early commute.
I don't take her out Saturdays as it affects my long run too much.
Run most nights after work.
Saturday is parkrun.
Sunday is long run then sleep in the afternoon for recovery.
She said one more marathon block and its over.
Has anyone else had these problems how did you deal with the problem of training and family life.
Goal sub 3:30
I love that you end with "goal sub 3:30" as if that's relevant to the discussion. If you'd said 3:20 I'd be on your side, but 3:30? Nah, your wife is right, give it up!
This is probably a troll post. If it's not, your wife is already done with you.
I train 5 evenings a week, by the time I'm home the evenings done. I work 9-5 so can't run in the day, or in the mornings as early commute.
I don't take her out Saturdays as it affects my long run too much.
Run most nights after work.
Saturday is parkrun.
Sunday is long run then sleep in the afternoon for recovery.
She said one more marathon block and its over.
Has anyone else had these problems how did you deal with the problem of training and family life.
Goal sub 3:30
As someone who was not a morning runner ever, at age 46 I became one after my job returned to the office. It can be done; people who don't adjust when they need to are babies.
All this to run sub-3:30 for a male. I'm not married, but I know if it affected someone important to me - I'd adjust. It's compromise.
Doesn't sound like she's asking you to quit running altogether. Meet her halfway.
Put less time into it. Goal sub 3:30? You can probably come pretty close to that training for 30 minutes a day versus whatever you are doing. Family comes first, but there is room for compromise. Wake up early, do what you need to do for 30 minutes, hit the shower, get to work, go home to your family. Running isn't that important for you. Aging gracefully is.