In the DC area, no women have babies before they're 35. As long the woman is healthy, she certainly can give birth safely in her early 40s. It might take long to get pregnant than if she was in 20s and 30s though.
When I was teaching there loads of girls were having babies before they were 18.
Hate to say it but, this is anecdotal, almost all of the kids I knew who had advanced parents were on the spectrum. That's better than some of the worse cases of having actual physical defects but they can be very much abnormal socially.
Most important thing you should ask is are you having kids for selfish reasons? That includes worrying about the child's health for selfish reasons of your own. People need to think before rushing into having kids and few consider that they are doing it for selfish reasons or even openly just admit they are doing it for selfish reasons. At the end of the day, a soul that didn't ask to be here will be in this world. So many kids are born into bad situations and have a life of misery because the parents didn't have their own act together when they decided to procreate.
Have kids but not for selfish reasons. The woman will have to have the energy to be a mother to a 10 year old at 50 years old. That's something else to consider. At peak childhood activity that kid is going to need to be able to depend on their parents. At the current rate, you and your wife will be mid 50'sto early 60's by the time the kid is in high school since it may even take longer for her to have a kid past the age of 40. So being generous lets say the kid is born to a 43-yr old mother. That puts both of you at mid to late 50's by the time the kid is in high school. And lets not even talk about college and early adulthood. By the time the kid finishes college, one of you will likely be on social security benefits.
Indeed, pregnancies after 35 are generally considered “high risk” due to higher probabilities of complications for both the mother and future child.
We were 39-40 old when my partner and I seriously thought about becoming parents after 7 years living together. We had basic counseling with her gynaecologist in order to be aware of the risks, usual screening procedures during early pregnancy ( trisomy, etc.). We also discussed together how we would likely react would the tests reveal some anomalies. My partner simply stopped taking contraceptive pills and we kept on living as usual, not calculating whatsoever as we were not obsessed with the idea of parenting at all costs. Within a few months she became pregnant and prenatal tests were ok, so it ended up as a totally uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery. We are now happy parents of a healthy 9 year old daughter. Although neither of us felt we must become parents to fully realise ourselves in life, retrospectively I can say that having a child is the best thing which could have happened to us.
This said, as a future parent you have to be aware of the (higher) risks and feel ready to deal with it, as not all conditions can be detected during pregnancy. In the end, it depends more on whether you and your partner feel ready to become parents and share similar views on how to bring up your future child. And this is valid at any age.
You can be sure that he or she is healthy and you’re not creating undue risk to your wife and giving a home and life to a baby who is already here and needs parents.
Most important thing you should ask is are you having kids for selfish reasons? That includes worrying about the child's health for selfish reasons of your own. People need to think before rushing into having kids and few consider that they are doing it for selfish reasons or even openly just admit they are doing it for selfish reasons. At the end of the day, a soul that didn't ask to be here will be in this world. So many kids are born into bad situations and have a life of misery because the parents didn't have their own act together when they decided to procreate.
Have kids but not for selfish reasons. The woman will have to have the energy to be a mother to a 10 year old at 50 years old. That's something else to consider. At peak childhood activity that kid is going to need to be able to depend on their parents. At the current rate, you and your wife will be mid 50'sto early 60's by the time the kid is in high school since it may even take longer for her to have a kid past the age of 40. So being generous lets say the kid is born to a 43-yr old mother. That puts both of you at mid to late 50's by the time the kid is in high school. And lets not even talk about college and early adulthood. By the time the kid finishes college, one of you will likely be on social security benefits.
Do you see a problem with having a kid in high school when someone is in their late 50s or collecting Social Security shortly after the kid graduates from college? If so, what? This was the case for my wife and me and there was nothing at all problematic.
I am in my late 30s and started dating a woman a couple years older than me about 1.5 years ago. We were both recently out of serious relationships (marriage for her) and were both viewing this as something light and fun and probably temporary, no expectations really. However, our relationship has grown tremendously over the last probably 8-9 months, and she has openly told me she wants to have my babies. I feel like I have found a life partner in her, and if she was even 5 years younger, this would be a total no-brainer as she is a great partner, and we both feel like this is the best, easiest, and healthiest relationship either of us have had.
However, if I am being honest, I am very hesitant to try to have a baby with a woman 40+ years old. Even if it happens, the risk of birth defects is much higher, and I know I would not want to have a child with DS or full blown autism etc. Anyone here have a kid at this age or know someone who did? How did it go?
Do what Trump and Musk do, go the IVF route that way doctors can screen for genetic defects.
This is absolutely the right place to discuss this. The wisdom on this topic from posters on this site will be professional, insightful, respectful. There’s no need to ask medical professionals about this.
I found out my X lied to me about her real age very recently, by quite a wide margin.
Turns out she was in her 40s when she had both my kids. Both healthy and both professionals in medicine.
We were together a decade and it was nice and I won 2 gold medals. And took care of some orphans part time after. For me, it was fun, loved it, it never seemed like work. the X was annoying for about a year of it.
The thing is I never knew I liked kids till I was a dad. That would be the deciding factor.
And your X could go nuts. Or you may never have kids otherwise.
It a gamble. Life's a gamble.
That said, if you're with your soul mate, or think so, go for it. Otherwise, run.
Most important thing you should ask is are you having kids for selfish reasons? That includes worrying about the child's health for selfish reasons of your own. People need to think before rushing into having kids and few consider that they are doing it for selfish reasons or even openly just admit they are doing it for selfish reasons. At the end of the day, a soul that didn't ask to be here will be in this world. So many kids are born into bad situations and have a life of misery because the parents didn't have their own act together when they decided to procreate.
Have kids but not for selfish reasons. The woman will have to have the energy to be a mother to a 10 year old at 50 years old. That's something else to consider. At peak childhood activity that kid is going to need to be able to depend on their parents. At the current rate, you and your wife will be mid 50'sto early 60's by the time the kid is in high school since it may even take longer for her to have a kid past the age of 40. So being generous lets say the kid is born to a 43-yr old mother. That puts both of you at mid to late 50's by the time the kid is in high school. And lets not even talk about college and early adulthood. By the time the kid finishes college, one of you will likely be on social security benefits.
Very valid point, you don't want to be a dad or mom in your late 30s or early 40s and have to deal with the baby/toddler stages while the rest of your counterparts' kids are already in middle school!