Well I don’t know if you had a mentally ill parent, but if you did, at a certain point you recognize that it isn’t going to be perfect, and you just have to carry on under whatever circumstances you encounter. Well I guess that is true even if you didn’t have a mentally ill parent, but they are going to screw up, and so condemning them isn’t going to change things much. So you develop a tolerance for what many find to be inexcusable. How else are you going to survive? And then you carry on. Or you don’t, as Hemingway eventually chose not to. But whatever happened to the Ingebrigtsens, it is so easy to condemn Gjert. I choose not to, because I don’t feel I know enough about the situation, and what his own experiences were growing up.
Building a tolerance for the inexcusable doesn't make it inexcusable.
Well I think you meant that it doesn’t make it any less inexcusable. But of course life is messy, and we deal with the hand that we are dealt when we are young.
There is a difference between controling and ruling. Your children are your responsibility but not your property.
Can you explain the difference? Is setting a curfew controlling or ruling? Is telling your kids not to do reckless things controlling or ruling?
How did he make them property? He let them choose their careers.
The difference is the extent. Did you miss the part where Gjert hit Kristoffer for telling him that he doesn't want to be an elite athlete?
You can (and should) set some basic rules that do not infringe with children's rights. You can not beat an elite athleticism into them though. You also should not be choking or punching your son for him to be quiet.
Narcisists can not simply guide their children, they have a strong need to completely rule every aspect of their lifes in order to fulfill themselves through them. Gjert was so upsessed with his own coaching ideas and feeding his ego as a coach that he was willing to force his children to follow his regiment at any cost.
I know this so so well. Had an all-knowing daddy coach at home. Once I even got beat with a wooden flagpole at home for coming 4th in a race. I'm sure that the Ingebrigtsen situation is much worse than what we know about. Most traumatic and embarassing things will be kept private.
Can you explain the difference? Is setting a curfew controlling or ruling? Is telling your kids not to do reckless things controlling or ruling?
How did he make them property? He let them choose their careers.
The difference is the extent. Did you miss the part where Gjert hit Kristoffer for telling him that he doesn't want to be an elite athlete?
You can (and should) set some basic rules that do not infringe with children's rights. You can not beat an elite athleticism into them though. You also should not be choking or punching your son for him to be quiet.
Narcisists can not simply guide their children, they have a strong need to completely rule every aspect of their lifes in order to fulfill themselves through them. Gjert was so upsessed with his own coaching ideas and feeding his ego as a coach that he was willing to force his children to follow his regiment at any cost.
I know this so so well. Had an all-knowing daddy coach at home. Once I even got beat with a wooden flagpole at home for coming 4th in a race. I'm sure that the Ingebrigtsen situation is much worse than what we know about. Most traumatic and embarassing things will be kept private.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Is it possible you are projecting your experience onto the Ingebrigtsen family?
I don’t believe for one second that a caring father like Gjert would harm his children.
Building a tolerance for the inexcusable doesn't make it inexcusable.
Well I think you meant that it doesn’t make it any less inexcusable. But of course life is messy, and we deal with the hand that we are dealt when we are young.
I meant what I said.
Regarding your deal with the hand you're delt nonsense. The dealer made a conscious decision to deal you that hand.
This isn't Vegas. It isn't a game of chance. To frame it a such, lets the abuser off the hook.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Is it possible you are projecting your experience onto the Ingebrigtsen family?
I don’t believe for one second that a caring father like Gjert would harm his children.
Thank you. I might be projecting somewhat, but I have learned about patterns in therapy and Gjert surely shows some patterns of narcissism and abuse. I mean, it is said, that he choked and punched his sons. Cold showering a crying 2-3 year old daughter is also nothing short of abuse. Might be a lot of other things we don't know about, just like we didn't know much before Kristoffer came forward publicly.
Btw, my father also seemed the most caring in public. The worst part is that to this day in his mind, he indeed was being nothing but caring. That's exactly what's going on with Gjert, who refuses to apologise and denies everything.
Well I think you meant that it doesn’t make it any less inexcusable. But of course life is messy, and we deal with the hand that we are dealt when we are young.
I meant what I said.
Regarding your deal with the hand you're delt nonsense. The dealer made a conscious decision to deal you that hand.
This isn't Vegas. It isn't a game of chance. To frame it a such, lets the abuser off the hook.
What you said made no sense. You said “building a tolerance for the inexcusable doesn’t make it inexcusable.” It is a statement that makes no sense. I tried to correct you nicely. You needed to be corrected.
The eldest Ingebrigtsen son has gone public to Norway's largest newspaper Aftenposten with some of the details of the alleged abuse Gjert inflicted on his children. Even though the statute of limitations has passed on many of...
I didn't rewrite the whole thing. I left out two specific allegations.
1) It seemed to imply that Gjert may have hit Henrik in the nose at one point:
"Henrik has a lot of energy. Once he flew up to his room. Then it suddenly became quiet. When I got up, Henrik was just standing there, completely apathetic, with his arms straight down and bleeding nosebleeds. My father went to get paper."
2) Kristoffer didn't like the way Gjert treated Ingrid when she had night terrors as an infant:
"Once, Gjert pulled her into the shower and rinsed her with cold water to get the night terrors out of her. I heard flushing and think my mom said, "You can't flush her!" He did it anyway. She was two or three years old," he says.
There is a fine line between being a tough parent and being an abusive one, and Gjert definitely seemed to flirt with that line and may have even crossed it on a few occasions. It would be one thing if it was just Kristofer, but it's also Jakob, Henrik, and Ingrid asserting this. There is something there, and I'm glad the Ingebrigtsen children spoke out.
There is no world of "nuance" where striking a child, or putting a toddler in a freezing bathtub, or choking someone else is in any way, shape, or form acceptable.
It takes a straight up insecure, cowardly loser to engage in any of these activities. It takes a "man" who is so weak and scared that he has to get his sons to go do what he lacked the courage or talent to do, to engage in any of these activities. It takes a man who is afraid to stand up to true authority figures, and instead of dealing with that choosing to compensate by dominating those less powerful, to engage in any of these activities.
There is no nuance to cowardice.
I would much rather have Gjert as a father than you. You are weak so you are not a good role model for children. You aren’t half the man Gjert is. If he struck his child, maybe they was a mistake, but he wasn’t afraid of his own children, as you would be.
What the hell is wrong with you, hide behind a anonymous username you feckless coward
I would much rather have Gjert as a father than you. You are weak so you are not a good role model for children. You aren’t half the man Gjert is. If he struck his child, maybe they was a mistake, but he wasn’t afraid of his own children, as you would be.
What the hell is wrong with you, hide behind a anonymous username you feckless coward
I would much rather have Gjert as a father than you. You are weak so you are not a good role model for children. You aren’t half the man Gjert is. If he struck his child, maybe they was a mistake, but he wasn’t afraid of his own children, as you would be.
What the hell is wrong with you, hide behind a anonymous username you feckless coward
I will also add that you are an abuser. Please get help.
There is a fine line between being a tough parent and being an abusive one, and Gjert definitely seemed to flirt with that line and may have even crossed it on a few occasions. It would be one thing if it was just Kristofer, but it's also Jakob, Henrik, and Ingrid asserting this. There is something there, and I'm glad the Ingebrigtsen children spoke out.
Gjert is believable as a parent who would never harm his children. He was very protective of his kids and always looking out for their wellbeing and safety. He forbade Henrik from getting a motorcycle because it’s too dangerous. He told Martin to be careful when going to his high school celebration. He wouldn’t let the runners train during a thunderstorm when they wanted to. He refused to train Ingrid until she was old enough. He always told the boys to not overtrain and be smart with their recovery. A father like that would NEVER harm his children.
The posters that are condoning Gjert and child abuse likely also self-identify as Republicans, Christians, and people of upstanding moral character. They claim to abhor human trafficking and buy into pedophilia conspiracy theories while believing that society would be better behaved if we physically and psychologically beat children on the regular.
And you sound like you approve of murdering unborn babies, and grooming and gaslighting them into various mental illnesses and perversions, and surgically and chemically sexually mutilating them. "Pedophilia conspiracy theories" while your side is always pushing for pedophilia to be normalized and de-criminalized.
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