Yeah I get it. You people are in pain so you lash out at anyone, even someone who does not warrant it like Daniel. Well maybe see whether you can understand that some of us know quite a bit more about this than you and the other guy.
Thank you Christina. All Daniel talked about was his students, even when he was training for his first marathon. The impact this young man had on the people around him was infectious. It's hard to understand what the mind can create as reality. All of you on here has suffered or knows someone who does. It may be the closest person to you and you would never know. All you can do is be there and listen. Rest well my friend.
As someone who's been suicidal, hearing some people say Suicide is selfish -- Are out of touch with reality.
People are assuming they just feel sad or anxious, but it's so much more than that. One way I can describe it is -- Imagine you haven't slept in months and it feels like you're being strangled all day long. You're struggling for air and to find the peace of a good nights sleep, but it NEVER comes, and it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. You're terrified of how you feel, but you're even more terrified of how it's going to feel tomorrow. You've tried taking hard-core drugs to calm you down (i.e. benzo, alcohol), but it only provides a moment of relief and then the pain comes back ten-fold the next day.
Imagine the feeling you'd have if a doctor just told you that you had cancer. Now imagine that feeling every moment of every day. And what's worse, there's nothing actually physically wrong with you.
Imagine your mind turns on you and you're unable to control your thoughts. You start getting desperate for the pain and anxiety and depression to stop, but there's almost nothing you can do except pray it will end.
Most people who are suicidal are actually incredibly strong people who have been dealing with this a very long time. It's not that they don't want to live, it's just that they don't want to live like this anymore.
I would also add -- You absolutely need to tell someone and let others take care for you.
From there, you need to develop a safety plan for yourself, which sometimes means getting 5150'd or in patient care. It's also extremely important to have someone remove all of your access all access to firearms. It's always important to understand if you have thoughts like that, they will very likely come back. I've seen so many friends fail to reach out for help because our society is so conditioned to being strong and sucking it up.
Ask for help early and often. Yell it from the rooftops and be an advocate for yourself. I PROMISE people will care and they will drop everything to save you.
My biggest mistake was not asking for help earlier. I was too embarrassed. Asking for help saved my life. I wouldn't be here if I didn't tell anyone.
Suicide happens because mental illness causes the person to believe that others are better off without them around. suicide is by sheer definition an irrational act. so to try to view it through the lens of rational thinking, as some have done on this thread, doesnt work. view it as the side effect of a broken mind. whether the act comes from a sudden moment of impulse or a long thought out carefully planned action. the suicide victim believes their actions are for the best at that moment. and our reaction should not be to condemn them through the lens of logic they could never fathom but to hold close those they left behind and try to keep others from suffering their same fate whether its Daniel or countless other poor souls who have lost the internal battle to a mental torment that they couldnt survive.
Suicide happens because mental illness causes the person to believe that others are better off without them around. suicide is by sheer definition an irrational act. so to try to view it through the lens of rational thinking, as some have done on this thread, doesnt work. view it as the side effect of a broken mind. whether the act comes from a sudden moment of impulse or a long thought out carefully planned action. the suicide victim believes their actions are for the best at that moment. and our reaction should not be to condemn them through the lens of logic they could never fathom but to hold close those they left behind and try to keep others from suffering their same fate whether its Daniel or countless other poor souls who have lost the internal battle to a mental torment that they couldnt survive.
100% agreed it is not a normal act. For people to assume you are mentally well and just decide to do this is insane. I too have attempted suicide but my wife not only called 911 but got me help. I had just returned from deployment and the pain mentally was unbearable. I had a heart attack at 32 because of my stresses but today I am happy I have found a new competitive outlook I have the best wife ever and my kids are healthy. The problem is a number of competitive runners think this is it, this is not it there is plenty of other ways to compete and a bad race is not a reason to end anything. The Olympics is a joke don't judge yourself on that find something else for your drive. Come on people Daniels life was not a joke why are we trying to prove crap about what happened I did not know him but know he could have been saved!
Suicide happens because mental illness causes the person to believe that others are better off without them around. suicide is by sheer definition an irrational act. so to try to view it through the lens of rational thinking, as some have done on this thread, doesnt work. view it as the side effect of a broken mind. whether the act comes from a sudden moment of impulse or a long thought out carefully planned action. the suicide victim believes their actions are for the best at that moment. and our reaction should not be to condemn them through the lens of logic they could never fathom but to hold close those they left behind and try to keep others from suffering their same fate whether its Daniel or countless other poor souls who have lost the internal battle to a mental torment that they couldnt survive.
100% agreed it is not a normal act. For people to assume you are mentally well and just decide to do this is insane. I too have attempted suicide but my wife not only called 911 but got me help. I had just returned from deployment and the pain mentally was unbearable. I had a heart attack at 32 because of my stresses but today I am happy I have found a new competitive outlook I have the best wife ever and my kids are healthy. The problem is a number of competitive runners think this is it, this is not it there is plenty of other ways to compete and a bad race is not a reason to end anything. The Olympics is a joke don't judge yourself on that find something else for your drive. Come on people Daniels life was not a joke why are we trying to prove crap about what happened I did not know him but know he could have been saved!
Good for you getting help brother. Question for. Did you go into treatment right away when you called 911? I know for me I had to be protected from myself for a little bit and being forced into treatment was hard but saved my life. Genuinely curious about your journey.
Talking about it merely causes more people to consider it. Suicides surge in geographical areas after one happens.
If true, then maybe we need to be sensitive about how we talk about it, but not talking about it all is the worst possible choice. There was a pretty talented local runner from my area who killed himself this spring, and we went through the same thing you're suggesting, everyone would get angsty if you tried to mentioned suicide. After a few weeks, the family settled on a little white lie that actually he was just cleaning his gun and it went off accidentally, despite all the evidence suggesting otherwise. They even took that story to the media which repeated it, and now you'll get people wagging their fingers at you if you suggest it was suicide. And so the upshot is that nobody learned anything from the poor young man's death. Nobody is talking about the signs you might see that a friend is suffering, nobody is talking about prevention, nobody is sharing the hotline number or any other resources that could help someone, and so forth. The young man killed himself and everyone's anxiety around the subject and their choice to keep quiet or even believe a lie about the circumstances of his death might make them feel better momentarily or avoid having a difficult talk, but I'm convinced an opportunity to save lives was lost because of that anxiety and because of that unwillingness to have a hard conversation.
I would like to know more about what really happened to Frank. I am very active in VA running circles and wasn’t satisfied with the story I was told. Please…I want to know the truth.
Suicide happens because mental illness causes the person to believe that others are better off without them around. suicide is by sheer definition an irrational act. so to try to view it through the lens of rational thinking, as some have done on this thread, doesnt work. view it as the side effect of a broken mind. whether the act comes from a sudden moment of impulse or a long thought out carefully planned action. the suicide victim believes their actions are for the best at that moment. and our reaction should not be to condemn them through the lens of logic they could never fathom but to hold close those they left behind and try to keep others from suffering their same fate whether its Daniel or countless other poor souls who have lost the internal battle to a mental torment that they couldnt survive.
100% agreed it is not a normal act. For people to assume you are mentally well and just decide to do this is insane. I too have attempted suicide but my wife not only called 911 but got me help. I had just returned from deployment and the pain mentally was unbearable. I had a heart attack at 32 because of my stresses but today I am happy I have found a new competitive outlook I have the best wife ever and my kids are healthy. The problem is a number of competitive runners think this is it, this is not it there is plenty of other ways to compete and a bad race is not a reason to end anything. The Olympics is a joke don't judge yourself on that find something else for your drive. Come on people Daniels life was not a joke why are we trying to prove crap about what happened I did not know him but know he could have been saved!
You are correct. I will say, as someone who personally knew Daniel (we called him DDLT or DLT), he struggled his entire life. It came to a shock to many of us, and I do know he had sought help in the past. Unfortunately, he often cared too much for others and would put himself last. I think that says a lot about how he viewed him self in hind sight. As he once told me he “was born with a chemical imbalance”. My heart breaks for his family and the incredible pain he put have been in
I would like to mention: Daniel spoke at UCLA — I believe it was a TED talk about his depression and overcoming it. I have been trying to find it since the news broke. It was a powerful talk
100% agreed it is not a normal act. For people to assume you are mentally well and just decide to do this is insane. I too have attempted suicide but my wife not only called 911 but got me help. I had just returned from deployment and the pain mentally was unbearable. I had a heart attack at 32 because of my stresses but today I am happy I have found a new competitive outlook I have the best wife ever and my kids are healthy. The problem is a number of competitive runners think this is it, this is not it there is plenty of other ways to compete and a bad race is not a reason to end anything. The Olympics is a joke don't judge yourself on that find something else for your drive. Come on people Daniels life was not a joke why are we trying to prove crap about what happened I did not know him but know he could have been saved!
You are correct. I will say, as someone who personally knew Daniel (we called him DDLT or DLT), he struggled his entire life. It came to a shock to many of us, and I do know he had sought help in the past. Unfortunately, he often cared too much for others and would put himself last. I think that says a lot about how he viewed him self in hind sight. As he once told me he “was born with a chemical imbalance”. My heart breaks for his family and the incredible pain he put have been in
I would like to mention: Daniel spoke at UCLA — I believe it was a TED talk about his depression and overcoming it. I have been trying to find it since the news broke. It was a powerful talk
I had my attempt in 2013 and I had locked myself in the bathroom at my house. I was living in military housing at the time. I was not in a good place mentally and had not been for a while. When I had my attempt, my wife immediately called 911 as she was unable to get a response from me in the bathroom. They found me on the bathroom floor, and I was revived by EMT. A police officer was at my side when I woke up the next day in the hospital my wife was not authorized to be there because of the severity. I was initially afraid and thought I was under arrest; the police officer called me and said you are not in trouble, but we want to make sure you receive the correct help. I spent 2 weeks in psychiatric care, and after that a month in a PTSD clinic, and after that I spent the next 6 months in outpatient care. It would be another 2 months before I saw my wife and children again as they wanted me mentally well. My wife assured me that she loved me and would remain by myside. We have been married for 16 years now I still have my mental health struggles but do take anti-depressants and seek therapy which really does help. I do have my bad days, but I feel I can get through them. I am working on a third master's in psychology with the hopes of helping other vets.
I have to chime in, as selfish cannot be a word ever associated with Daniel DLT or his death. He dedicated his entire life to helping other people, so much so, I am convinved that he put everyone else in front of him that he did not take care of himself enough. He was the most selfless man I knew, and truly exuded love to everybody he met. I am sorry you are also suffering from mental health struggles, but note that everyone's experience is different. With certain mental illnesses, suicidal thoughts can be spontaneous, unpredictable, and quick. In a mindstate like that, it has nothing to do with a choice. I attended Daniel's service last week; witnessing his family, friends, gf, all beyond devastated, this is not something he wanted. Nobody ever wants to be in a position to "want" or "choose" to take their own life. Please educate yourself on how incredibly complex the human brain can be, often, somebody in this mindspace does not have control over their actions. May we remember Daniel for all the incredible good he did in his life, how deeply he loved, and his incredible legacy as an athlete. Take care of yourselves.
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