You have been married for 27 years and brag about lying to your wife? That could easily make you as young as 47 and that is quite young indeed. So you are evil, where will that get you at the end of time? "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." (I admit to being a hypocrite but if I do not tell you that you are wrong I will burn in hell. But If you listen to me you will save yourself.)
She got bored with Nice Guy and is excited by "bad boy" side piece who didn't hesitate to screw a married woman. She'll get bored again, bad boy will leave her high and dry and she'll be sad, old, saggy and alone.
I wish I was making this up but I’m not. My friend and wife have been married for 8 years with 2 kids. She recently filed for divorce and the reason was she’s bored. She said she’s gotten promoted since they got together and he’s not. She also said that she’s gotten better looks wise and he hasn’t. I read that 90% of divorces involving women with college degrees are started by women. Interesting
The fun thing about really stupid people is how quickly you can tell they are really stupid. This is one of those times.
Whenever I hear some say (or see a post, headline or comment to the effect of) phrases such as "He shot her because she knocked on the door too loudly" or "They ran away because the toast was burned" or "She divorced him because she was 'bored'," I know I am observing a deeply stupid person.
A woman leaving a man because she was "bored" is a lot less worse than a man leaving a woman because he was humping a 22 year old dental hygienist he met at the gym who had nicer boobies than his wife.
From what I have seen, women who leave men in a marriage tend to do so because they come to a realization that they did not really want the relationship in the first place. Women are socialized to believe that they have to be chosen by a man and are not supposed to initiate romantic relationships on their own. When biological clocks start ticking, women tend to settle for what they can get. When the excitement of a new relationship and the honeymoon period wears off, the relationship becomes dead even though there is no fighting and there are kids involved.
One of my wife's friends got divorced after being married for 10 years and having two kids. She just realized one day that she had no feelings for her husband and wanted out. They did not fight and both were doing well professionally (both are attorneys). She felt that she never really got to pick who she really wanted to be with and just ended up with her ex because they dated at a time when she was out of school and did not want to be alone.
True about biological clock. While there are plenty of women these days that don't mind waiting until their 30s, there are plenty who are still conditioned by culture or just their biological clock (or a combo of both) to think they need to be having kids in their 20s, only to realize after having kids that they just decided to marry the guy they happened to be in a serious relationship with at that time when the are expected to have kids.
Another reason I have commonly seen is having kids and then the husband changes (or I guess more accurately doesn't want to change). Some guys want the girl, but don't really want the kids, but have the kids anyway cuz marriage and kids is what society expects. Then the guy doesn't like the married with kids life while the wife is at that point a mother first and foremost and so they grow apart. I've definitely met, been friends with, and (once) dated women with kids who went through this.
Dudes need be honest about wanting kids or not. Guys can change how they treat a woman if they go from being the focus of the girl to being secondary to their children. Doesn't sound like that's the deal with the OP's friend though. Sounds like either the wife in that situation is just the type that wants something new and is flight or settled and is regretting it now, or the husband has gotten lazy and isn't putting in the self improvement effort while she is. If one person in a marriage is staying fit and ambitious and whatnot while the other gets lazy I could see the more proactive one not being happy with the direction their partner is going. Hell I had some girl I was talking to earlier this year ask me if I wouldn't be attracted to her if she got fat, and I was like wth kinda question is that asking me if she stopped taking care of herself and got unattractive would I find her less attractive lol kinda an obvious answer there, I'd hate to be stuck in a relationship like a marriage with someone who just stops trying in various ways.
So? I think a lot of women end up with losers because they think they have to get married by a certain age. At the point you have kids you're kind of stuck, but it's not the end of the world. What's up with this weird Incel mentality that any woman who wants a divorce is evil.
The fun thing about really stupid people is how quickly you can tell they are really stupid. This is one of those times.
Whenever I hear some say (or see a post, headline or comment to the effect of) phrases such as "He shot her because she knocked on the door too loudly" or "They ran away because the toast was burned" or "She divorced him because she was 'bored'," I know I am observing a deeply stupid person.
A woman leaving a man because she was "bored" is a lot less worse than a man leaving a woman because he was humping a 22 year old dental hygienist he met at the gym who had nicer boobies than his wife.
From what I have seen, women who leave men in a marriage tend to do so because they come to a realization that they did not really want the relationship in the first place. Women are socialized to believe that they have to be chosen by a man and are not supposed to initiate romantic relationships on their own. When biological clocks start ticking, women tend to settle for what they can get. When the excitement of a new relationship and the honeymoon period wears off, the relationship becomes dead even though there is no fighting and there are kids involved.
One of my wife's friends got divorced after being married for 10 years and having two kids. She just realized one day that she had no feelings for her husband and wanted out. They did not fight and both were doing well professionally (both are attorneys). She felt that she never really got to pick who she really wanted to be with and just ended up with her ex because they dated at a time when she was out of school and did not want to be alone.
Overall, I have no issue with your post, but I don't see any difference between the bored wife or philanderer-with-floozy husband. They both decided to renege on their marital commitment, and their primary reasons for doing so will almost certainly be identical - discontentment with what they have.
I'd hate to be stuck in a relationship like a marriage with someone who just stops trying in various ways.
Dude. A lot of people are REALLY lazy and only put a half ass effort into everything including their own marriages. They call that "taking off the jersey".
A woman leaving a man because she was "bored" is a lot less worse than a man leaving a woman because he was humping a 22 year old dental hygienist he met at the gym who had nicer boobies than his wife.
From what I have seen, women who leave men in a marriage tend to do so because they come to a realization that they did not really want the relationship in the first place. Women are socialized to believe that they have to be chosen by a man and are not supposed to initiate romantic relationships on their own. When biological clocks start ticking, women tend to settle for what they can get. When the excitement of a new relationship and the honeymoon period wears off, the relationship becomes dead even though there is no fighting and there are kids involved.
One of my wife's friends got divorced after being married for 10 years and having two kids. She just realized one day that she had no feelings for her husband and wanted out. They did not fight and both were doing well professionally (both are attorneys). She felt that she never really got to pick who she really wanted to be with and just ended up with her ex because they dated at a time when she was out of school and did not want to be alone.
True about biological clock. While there are plenty of women these days that don't mind waiting until their 30s, there are plenty who are still conditioned by culture or just their biological clock (or a combo of both) to think they need to be having kids in their 20s, only to realize after having kids that they just decided to marry the guy they happened to be in a serious relationship with at that time when the are expected to have kids.
Another reason I have commonly seen is having kids and then the husband changes (or I guess more accurately doesn't want to change). Some guys want the girl, but don't really want the kids, but have the kids anyway cuz marriage and kids is what society expects. Then the guy doesn't like the married with kids life while the wife is at that point a mother first and foremost and so they grow apart. I've definitely met, been friends with, and (once) dated women with kids who went through this.
Dudes need be honest about wanting kids or not. Guys can change how they treat a woman if they go from being the focus of the girl to being secondary to their children. Doesn't sound like that's the deal with the OP's friend though. Sounds like either the wife in that situation is just the type that wants something new and is flight or settled and is regretting it now, or the husband has gotten lazy and isn't putting in the self improvement effort while she is. If one person in a marriage is staying fit and ambitious and whatnot while the other gets lazy I could see the more proactive one not being happy with the direction their partner is going. Hell I had some girl I was talking to earlier this year ask me if I wouldn't be attracted to her if she got fat, and I was like wth kinda question is that asking me if she stopped taking care of herself and got unattractive would I find her less attractive lol kinda an obvious answer there, I'd hate to be stuck in a relationship like a marriage with someone who just stops trying in various ways.
Marriage is just part of the toolbox for mass cooperation. We need it to help maintain a sense of order at scale. Women are going to be inclined to have children and will make irrational decisions if they get too close to the biological clock hitting 12. Single men looking for flings - the closer women are to that time, the more cautious you should be. If they are not being straight and telling you they "need" to have kids - don't trust them at all.
On the other hand, it's straight up instinctual for most men to desire many women. They are biologically built to impregnate as much as possible. I won't go as far as saying they are not built to hang around for long and have affection and want to care for their children, but most men do naturally feel attraction to several women and the urge to bang them randomly.
So men and women are often unhappy due to a self-imposed situation. I think you can be happier if you simply understand the biology and appreciate it. That allows you to more easily cope with your underlying urges and instincts.
IMO, infidelity should be socially accepted. Having a partner at home is key to raising children well. But we are raised to think that having more than one lover is immoral and bad (in some places it's even illegal). We could all be much happier if we got more love and attention instead of being suppressed. Most women tend to experience a much greater loss of desire with age as compared to men, but if they could feel comforted by the common union (them and children being provided for) and were not judged by society, I don't think they'd feel threatened by affairs. Same for men with respect to fear of losing custody of their children. Sadly, we operate more on fear of what we can lose than actual positive incentives.
True about biological clock. While there are plenty of women these days that don't mind waiting until their 30s, there are plenty who are still conditioned by culture or just their biological clock (or a combo of both) to think they need to be having kids in their 20s, only to realize after having kids that they just decided to marry the guy they happened to be in a serious relationship with at that time when the are expected to have kids.
Another reason I have commonly seen is having kids and then the husband changes (or I guess more accurately doesn't want to change). Some guys want the girl, but don't really want the kids, but have the kids anyway cuz marriage and kids is what society expects. Then the guy doesn't like the married with kids life while the wife is at that point a mother first and foremost and so they grow apart. I've definitely met, been friends with, and (once) dated women with kids who went through this.
Dudes need be honest about wanting kids or not. Guys can change how they treat a woman if they go from being the focus of the girl to being secondary to their children. Doesn't sound like that's the deal with the OP's friend though. Sounds like either the wife in that situation is just the type that wants something new and is flight or settled and is regretting it now, or the husband has gotten lazy and isn't putting in the self improvement effort while she is. If one person in a marriage is staying fit and ambitious and whatnot while the other gets lazy I could see the more proactive one not being happy with the direction their partner is going. Hell I had some girl I was talking to earlier this year ask me if I wouldn't be attracted to her if she got fat, and I was like wth kinda question is that asking me if she stopped taking care of herself and got unattractive would I find her less attractive lol kinda an obvious answer there, I'd hate to be stuck in a relationship like a marriage with someone who just stops trying in various ways.
Marriage is just part of the toolbox for mass cooperation. We need it to help maintain a sense of order at scale. Women are going to be inclined to have children and will make irrational decisions if they get too close to the biological clock hitting 12. Single men looking for flings - the closer women are to that time, the more cautious you should be. If they are not being straight and telling you they "need" to have kids - don't trust them at all.
On the other hand, it's straight up instinctual for most men to desire many women. They are biologically built to impregnate as much as possible. I won't go as far as saying they are not built to hang around for long and have affection and want to care for their children, but most men do naturally feel attraction to several women and the urge to bang them randomly.
So men and women are often unhappy due to a self-imposed situation. I think you can be happier if you simply understand the biology and appreciate it. That allows you to more easily cope with your underlying urges and instincts.
IMO, infidelity should be socially accepted. Having a partner at home is key to raising children well. But we are raised to think that having more than one lover is immoral and bad (in some places it's even illegal). We could all be much happier if we got more love and attention instead of being suppressed. Most women tend to experience a much greater loss of desire with age as compared to men, but if they could feel comforted by the common union (them and children being provided for) and were not judged by society, I don't think they'd feel threatened by affairs. Same for men with respect to fear of losing custody of their children. Sadly, we operate more on fear of what we can lose than actual positive incentives.
Sorry for the long post.. to summarize - marriages should be simply practical contracts with financial and custodial commitments - i.e. to facilitate having children in a stable way. Like who you are choosing to team up with for that. They should not be prohibitive moral contracts. I'm curious what the ladies think.
True about biological clock. While there are plenty of women these days that don't mind waiting until their 30s, there are plenty who are still conditioned by culture or just their biological clock (or a combo of both) to think they need to be having kids in their 20s, only to realize after having kids that they just decided to marry the guy they happened to be in a serious relationship with at that time when the are expected to have kids.
Another reason I have commonly seen is having kids and then the husband changes (or I guess more accurately doesn't want to change). Some guys want the girl, but don't really want the kids, but have the kids anyway cuz marriage and kids is what society expects. Then the guy doesn't like the married with kids life while the wife is at that point a mother first and foremost and so they grow apart. I've definitely met, been friends with, and (once) dated women with kids who went through this.
Dudes need be honest about wanting kids or not. Guys can change how they treat a woman if they go from being the focus of the girl to being secondary to their children. Doesn't sound like that's the deal with the OP's friend though. Sounds like either the wife in that situation is just the type that wants something new and is flight or settled and is regretting it now, or the husband has gotten lazy and isn't putting in the self improvement effort while she is. If one person in a marriage is staying fit and ambitious and whatnot while the other gets lazy I could see the more proactive one not being happy with the direction their partner is going. Hell I had some girl I was talking to earlier this year ask me if I wouldn't be attracted to her if she got fat, and I was like wth kinda question is that asking me if she stopped taking care of herself and got unattractive would I find her less attractive lol kinda an obvious answer there, I'd hate to be stuck in a relationship like a marriage with someone who just stops trying in various ways.
Marriage is just part of the toolbox for mass cooperation. We need it to help maintain a sense of order at scale. Women are going to be inclined to have children and will make irrational decisions if they get too close to the biological clock hitting 12. Single men looking for flings - the closer women are to that time, the more cautious you should be. If they are not being straight and telling you they "need" to have kids - don't trust them at all.
On the other hand, it's straight up instinctual for most men to desire many women. They are biologically built to impregnate as much as possible. I won't go as far as saying they are not built to hang around for long and have affection and want to care for their children, but most men do naturally feel attraction to several women and the urge to bang them randomly.
So men and women are often unhappy due to a self-imposed situation. I think you can be happier if you simply understand the biology and appreciate it. That allows you to more easily cope with your underlying urges and instincts.
IMO, infidelity should be socially accepted. Having a partner at home is key to raising children well. But we are raised to think that having more than one lover is immoral and bad (in some places it's even illegal). We could all be much happier if we got more love and attention instead of being suppressed. Most women tend to experience a much greater loss of desire with age as compared to men, but if they could feel comforted by the common union (them and children being provided for) and were not judged by society, I don't think they'd feel threatened by affairs. Same for men with respect to fear of losing custody of their children. Sadly, we operate more on fear of what we can lose than actual positive incentives.
"Men should be able to go out and have as many women as they want while they have a house wench raising their kids because apparently that's what women want" is not the sell you think it is.
Marriage is just part of the toolbox for mass cooperation. We need it to help maintain a sense of order at scale. Women are going to be inclined to have children and will make irrational decisions if they get too close to the biological clock hitting 12. Single men looking for flings - the closer women are to that time, the more cautious you should be. If they are not being straight and telling you they "need" to have kids - don't trust them at all.
On the other hand, it's straight up instinctual for most men to desire many women. They are biologically built to impregnate as much as possible. I won't go as far as saying they are not built to hang around for long and have affection and want to care for their children, but most men do naturally feel attraction to several women and the urge to bang them randomly.
So men and women are often unhappy due to a self-imposed situation. I think you can be happier if you simply understand the biology and appreciate it. That allows you to more easily cope with your underlying urges and instincts.
IMO, infidelity should be socially accepted. Having a partner at home is key to raising children well. But we are raised to think that having more than one lover is immoral and bad (in some places it's even illegal). We could all be much happier if we got more love and attention instead of being suppressed. Most women tend to experience a much greater loss of desire with age as compared to men, but if they could feel comforted by the common union (them and children being provided for) and were not judged by society, I don't think they'd feel threatened by affairs. Same for men with respect to fear of losing custody of their children. Sadly, we operate more on fear of what we can lose than actual positive incentives.
Yeah, pretty much.
I think that the different expectations that you describe are pretty much the norm in much of Europe. It is accepted that men will have a lover outside of their marriage. As a result, wives don't feel nearly so threatened by it. Husband and wife take care of each other (perhaps excluding sex, perhaps including it) and together take care of the kids. That the husband is having sex elsewhere is largely irrelevant.
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