Getting Angry More Often, and It's Affecting My Kids

Anyone who says this is not very self-aware. I've heard plenty of people I know personally say this and know that's not true based on their personality and coping skills.

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I needed a lot of this. Especially resonated with the one poster who mentioned how much of his anger was due to not being in control of things, and having to learn to deal with what you can and cannot control.

I've been trying to move jobs to something with better work life balance for over 6 months, and its been harder than I thought. Had a couple interview processes go nowhere. I can't control the decision making of the hiring manager, but I can control how prepared I am for each interview. After that, its not worth getting upset over.

I live in a very busy hectic area in North New Jersey. I can't control the traffic, or the penn station crowds, or delayed trains, but I can control how I react to it. Wife and I have been discussing a lot and we think we definitely need to move somewhere less hectic busy (perhaps to a smaller more quaint town in Jersey near Princeton or somewhere in Westchester). Just trying to park my car for groceries or taking a kid to a park becomes a fight to the death here.

I hadn't really grasped the gravity of destroying my kids toys in front of him in rage. It's akin to child abuse (or at a very minimum, is extremely unhealthy). My son has actually somewhat been displaying bully like behavior at the park/playground (hes 3), and while some of his behavior is PRIOR to my anger outbursts, its certainly not helping him stop and correct his behavior when his Dad is having issues as well.

I bought some Magnesium supplements on the way home tonight (not sure if its broscience, but figure its worth trying). I checked out a book from the Library and have been trying to read again more (I used to read a lot...nowadays, hardly ever). Reading a physical book is a good exercise to shut out the world (vs reading blogs/news online that takes you into it more).

I haven't been working out as much as I used to (I was more of a sprinter/decathlete in college, so used to lifting also). Been too busy with kids to be honest. At a minimum need to keep my diet cleaner and rely less on sugar/salt.

I've been abusing caffeine I think. I drink occasional energy drinks during the week and its probably terrible for me in my current state. I also DO NOT get enough sleep (not even close). I stay up past midnight all the time.

I start vacation next week for a bit of time off, and I really plan on using this time to completely destress, clear my mind, and get back on a normal sleeping schedule. I have friend/past coworker who told me once he sees someone to manage anger (he ironically got pushed out from our firm for getting in an argument with our boss).

Thanks for the thoughts once again.

You said you were in the military. Is anyone dying? What life decisions are you making that's so darn stressful? If it's money are you gonna not make the mortgage? Be able to pay for food or heat or water? How big is this smaller house? 2 small kids? Are they in daycare or stay at home? Man when my last kid went from daycare to public school, it felt like we won the lottery.

I am far worse than you. Just today, I got a text from one of my kids. "Finals are hard. Lost some weight. Can't wait to come home." That says it all. Parents are human. Humans have flaws. Trying to be good but failing is part of it.

Try counseling — you will surely benefit from it!

I really wish you the best. It seems like you're trying to do a lot better. Definitely definitely look into therapy. Your therapist can figure out what the best coping strategies for you are.

2/10. What 30 year old whips out a checkbook?

You're right. And that's exactly why therapy could be helpful. Lol. We all are coping with a lot more ish now. Therapists can help with that.

Therapy isn't just for people with fvked up brains haha.

One thing I do is tire myself out whenever I'm mad. I'll go for a walk to clear my head. Stupid email at work bothered me? Walk.People at the store were walking really slowly? Drive to the park and go for a walk Something is wrong with the car? Walk. Wear yourself out to the point that you're too tired to do something stupid. Pushups are good too.

Please for the love of God don't use alcohol or drugs to deal with your anger. That's a horrible precendent and the addictions will make things worse.