Look up Dr. Doug Weiss or go to his website at:
He is an expert and helped me a lot. He has tons of videos, books, and classes on this subject.
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I would say if you prefer porn over the real thing then yes you probably do have a problem.
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I used nofap.com, they have a 90 day challenge and a large community. It's also more science based and doesnt have religious morality overtones. Most helpful for me was having someone in my real life as a support partner as I completed the challenge. Ive been off for nearly half a year and it feels great. All the best, be kind to yourself through the process.
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The point is, ladies and gentleman, that porn, for lack of a better word, is good. Porn is right, Porn works. Porn clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Porn, in all of its forms; Porn for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And Porn, you mark my words, will not only save LetsRun.com, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much.
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There is a software called Covenant Eyes. You give settings controls to a trusted friend, download the browser, and it sends screenshots of your web activity and background data to your partner. This, of course, requires trust in someone which really comes down to having confidence in yourself that you are still human and you have worth. I finally quit by following a 90 day program called Exodus90 (for Catholics), but the main reason it works is because I finally started talking about it. Don't keep your struggles a secret, it will only make you think you are getting better but it will still lurk. Find a community of other men and realize that you are stronger than your desires. I'll pray for you.
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Addicted2prn wrote:
The toughest part about this all is I don’t see myself fully recovering. I see myself going through times of healing then reverting back. Just like losing weight, staying sober (not necessarily issues for me), or anything in life really.
I want to encourage you to not ever give up. You will have setbacks, everyone does. But do not ever give up. The Consequences of giving up are bad.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13 NIV21 -
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13 NIVGod bless you, friend. You are loved, and you can be forgiven.
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Two questions come to mind...
1 - How old are you?
2 - Do you practice a conservative religion, particularly Mormonism?
At one point, I thought I was addicted to porn. I was raised Mormon and growing up I heard over and over again how evil and terrible porn is. The leaders in LDS General Conference harped on it incessantly.
I remember when I was 19, a counselor from LDS family health services told me I had a porn addiction. I believed him even though I hadn't even seen a naked woman. All my "porn" had been SI Swimsuit, Victoria's Secret, and other similar material. I was a virgin until 23 years old.
Throughout my young life, my struggle with "porn" no doubt destroyed my confidence and my opinion of myself. How could I be worthy to serve a mission or date a woman?
I truly believed that porn would eventually turn me into a serial adulterer, rapist, and pedophile if I didn't overcome it for good.
As I got older, I eventually left the church and decided to quit worrying about porn. I still used it sometimes, but not compulsively or at the expense of other things (Which I never did anyway. But when it comes to porn and Mormonism, there is no difference between use and abuse.) I attribute the change to getting older and therefore less horny, and getting away from a belief system that contributed to my feelings of guilt, shame, and despair. The religion was the driving force behind the "problem".
Today, I still use porn. But just enough to get my jollies when I feel like I need to. Maybe 10 minutes, and then the interest is gone.
For the record, I'm single and live by myself in an area with very few women so dating is hard.
I see porn as a tool. Just like caffeine to stay awake on a drive, or a half dose of tylenol pm if I can't sleep. And not all porn is garbage. Some is very elegant and tasteful.
Hopefully this helps you or someone else. Not saying I have the answers, just sharing my experience. Good luck.
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A less well known and cheaper alternative than spending any money on a no gap program would be for a male to immerse himself in a week or so of extensive Alexi Pappas social media consumption. T-levels are guaranteed to be lowered.
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Classic.
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formeraddict wrote:
There is a software called Covenant Eyes. You give settings controls to a trusted friend, download the browser, and it sends screenshots of your web activity and background data to your partner. This, of course, requires trust in someone which really comes down to having confidence in yourself that you are still human and you have worth. I finally quit by following a 90 day program called Exodus90 (for Catholics), but the main reason it works is because I finally started talking about it. Don't keep your struggles a secret, it will only make you think you are getting better but it will still lurk. Find a community of other men and realize that you are stronger than your desires. I'll pray for you.
I’m no longer religious but I find this post very comforting for some reason. You remind me of my father figure.
To address various questions from other posts:
I’m in my mid-20s, grew up religious and used to feel extremely guilty about having sexual desires / watching porn. That ended when I lost faith in god. For a while, at least.
Now I find myself watching porn as a way to dissociate from stressful things in my life. I seek pleasure as a way to forget about everything else going on.
Sometimes I find myself feeling the urge and will leave work early to get home and watch porn. Or I do it on my lunch break. Sometimes I show up late to work because I was distracted watching porn.
No girlfriend currently. I’m a virgin. I was devoutly religious for so long.
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I would just keep beating off OP.
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I agree, keep jerking. Many people have the same response during stressful events or even to punctuate a celebration, sex. Porn is everywhere, it’s accessible, you’re single, possibly lonely possibly not dating. I think its kinda typical.
You can go down some pretty dangerous rabbit holes with porn. I did a small version of the tigerwoods thing.Played out quite a few scenarios, wasted time and money and missed out on several opportunities. You can hurt a lot of people, including yourself, and when I finally realized that I was not alone it was too late.
It’s good that you realize it could potentially be an issue . Do yourself a favor and find some talk therapy, possibly solo at first and then transition into a group. That’s good you’re getting some virtual advice on the site but you’re gonna want to shift into real help that you can touch.
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I'm about to hit 4 year mark of being free from the addiction to porn. I'd be more than happy to help you on your journey. For me it started with acknowledging I had a problem, so you're on the journey. Prayers for you that you continue to conquer this addiction. Here to help guide you and work with you if you need support.
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24yo wrote:
Still strugglin myself and I have a very sexually active relationship (last sunday i finished 3 times with my gf)
I started young as a kid and had ED when I first started being sexually active, I cut back porn and masturbation and it got better.
Recently the consumption got worse again with being alone working remotely in covid and being bored af. I dont get ED anymore (unless for some reason I beat an insane amount for a few days), so I have to fight for a more internal reason to stop.
even in a committed relationship if I dont use it for just a week I can feel a huge difference in confidence and overall happiness. It feels terrible when your dick is picky when you are having sex ("I have to get it in soon or it'll go soft") and vice verse it feels great to know that its going to work for you 100%. I think the addiction is highly correlated with a feeling of passiveness. It comes to me when I passively want thrill or excitement but don't want to actually do something actively to make it happen. The result over time is that it will pacify you and hold you back from actively achieving things, even unrelated to the bedroom.
Obviously remembering all these things and benefits will help, but the slipperly slope of that desire is still pretty strong. Best practical advice I could give to you is that if you need to, masturbate without porn and only your imagination. If you are highly addicted you might not be able to do that at first. So if you go soft, leave your room and go about your day. Doing so will prevent you from unnecessary stimulation, but still give you an outlet to let loose if necessary. I think removing porn can help unveil to you how messed up ur mind has gotten
Without being TMI, I can tell you if I'm able to control my urges for several days leading up to a race I feel calmer, confident, focused and run well. I think what you said about pacification is 100% spot on! You feel weaker and less confident.
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sub4 pls wrote:
Best way to overcome porn addiction is to get a gf and rail 5-10 times a week. You won’t even need or want porn when you have enough of the real thing.
Easier said than done. I'm a sub-5 "Normie" and as a consequence, I've been an incel for the last several years. 😟 Getting a GF is automatic for the "Chads" but near impossible for us incels.
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yes , got other interests
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Yes, the one place I’d go to about porn addiction is a running site. Some of these people are weird.
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Wutthe wrote:
Yes, the one place I’d go to about porn addiction is a running site. Some of these people are weird.
Like some others on here I have off and on flirtation with porn. The message I got when I was young is to not have sex before marriage. I've never married, so at an advanced age I am still a virgin. Maybe that will turn out to be a good thing. Some say everything is good and bad, but that is not true of murder. Neither is it true of porn although sometimes it satisfies an urge or helps me forget some things for a short time. One famous religious leader wrote in a book that it's better than acting out with a woman.
But I seek to eliminate porn from my life because I know I am better without it. I've been told that getting a hypnotist might help. I'm about ready to try that. The people that have been mean about it to people on Let's Run or joke about it might need to re-think that and look much closer at themselves.
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