Seeking advice on raising high level athletic children

Nat Hickey wrote:

brien evans wrote:

All the replies up until this very reply are from losers with kids who are going to hate them later on in life for making them mediocre at everything.

Sure. Don't push your kids. Be their friends. In other countries where they don't have this pussification of society, they are pushing their kids, and they're eating our lunch.

Your kids are going to lose out on scholarships to Nambian runners, Australian kickers, and Ukrainian tennis players.

You all caused this.

And is there a reason this matters?

Yes. Accepting mediocrity is going to be the downfall of society.

Please don't live your athletic past through your kids.

Let them play sports if they want, and not play sports if they don't.

I grew up in a non-athletic family.

2 Boys. My older brother finished 6th in the 68 Olympics. I blew my knee out and still managed to earn a full ride D 1 scholarship.

Looking back, none of that stuff even matters.

Let them have fun. They'll find the level that interests them.

Being a stud in sports is more about determination and will power.

Physical ability is not uncommon.

There are lots of frustrated underachievers on this board who have the physical ability and not enough mental strength.

Just provide them with access and don't force them to make you happy.

brien evans wrote:

Nat Hickey wrote:

And is there a reason this matters?

Yes. Accepting mediocrity is going to be the downfall of society.

I looked through the record books.

I couldn't find a single Brien Evans entry

okcorralleye wrote:

brien evans wrote:

Yes. Accepting mediocrity is going to be the downfall of society.

I looked through the record books.

I couldn't find a single Brien Evans entry

That's because this isn't my real name because someone registered my real name to troll me.

Not really about me though. Any high-level athlete has had huge parental involvement and encouragement. OP asked about raising high-level athletes. I didn't say you need to force your kids into playing sports they don't want to, but if they have an interest in a sport you can't be a derelict parent. It's your job to make them the best they can be. There used to be a word for that. Oh yeah. It was called parenting.

brien evans wrote:

Nat Hickey wrote:

And is there a reason this matters?

Yes. Accepting mediocrity is going to be the downfall of society.

Accept it or not, by definition, almost all of us are mediocre. But it's kind of fun to pretend you aren't.

Nat Hickey wrote:

brien evans wrote:

Yes. Accepting mediocrity is going to be the downfall of society.

Accept it or not, by definition, almost all of us are mediocre. But it's kind of fun to pretend you aren't.

There are some things that I excel in though. And my parents are in large part responsible for that.

Good on you thinking you can have kids you don't have to raise though, I guess?

If you accept the idea that a parent's job is making his kids the best they can be, which is a good idea, there is no way to know how to do that or if it will work.

Nat Hickey wrote:

If you accept the idea that a parent's job is making his kids the best they can be, which is a good idea, there is no way to know how to do that or if it will work.

Sure there is. They want to play soccer. It's your job to watch soccer videos on YouTube and learn the technique and strategy for them. Then you coach them. Maybe you become an asst. coach on their junior teams. Most importantly, you let them know that it's their goal and you will help them, but if you're going to commit your time and money to their goal and they want to excel that there are no excuses. And you don't take any excuses.

Send me a portion of their winnings.

brien evans wrote:

Nat Hickey wrote:

If you accept the idea that a parent's job is making his kids the best they can be, which is a good idea, there is no way to know how to do that or if it will work.

Sure there is. They want to play soccer. It's your job to watch soccer videos on YouTube and learn the technique and strategy for them. Then you coach them. Maybe you become an asst. coach on their junior teams. Most importantly, you let them know that it's their goal and you will help them, but if you're going to commit your time and money to their goal and they want to excel that there are no excuses. And you don't take any excuses.

Send me a portion of their winnings.

What if you don't want to watch soccer videos or coach their junior teams? What if you understand that except in the rarest of cases there aren't going to be any winnings for you to get a portion of? What if you believe that it's important to limit how much time and energy they spend at soccer because doing so might be harmful to their academic and social development so you want them to do other sports and other activities? What if you go all in on soccer for them for years, don't take any excuses, and find that they lost interest in soccer?

>What if you don't want to watch soccer videos or coach their junior teams?

I don't care. Don't have kids then.

>What if you understand that except in the rarest of cases there aren't going to be any winnings for you to get a portion of?

Majority of cases it is because parents not comitting. By the way, I don't count boarding your kids at IMG as committing.

>What if you believe that it's important to limit how much time and energy they spend at soccer because doing so might be harmful to their academic and social development so you want them to do other sports and other activities?

Dumb. High level academia require the same commitment. If your child desires that, pursue it.

>What if you go all in on soccer for them for years, don't take any excuses, and find that they lost interest in soccer?

Unlikely but you still got to spend time parenting your kid and taught them that real goals take real effort.

Send me a portion of their winnings.

Maybe you can thank your parents because there are some things you excel at but those things are not reading comprehension and critical thinking. Academic and social development does not mean they'll end up in high level academia. It usually means getting a degree and being able to get along with people. Most kids who are playing a sport when they're 8 or 9 are done with that sport by 13 or 14 and it doesn't seem to matter all that much what their parents were like. Then they move on to the kind of mediocre lives that almost everyone inevitably lives, but again, it's fun to pretend we're an exception to that.

HRE wrote:

Maybe you can thank your parents because there are some things you excel at but those things are not reading comprehension and critical thinking. Academic and social development does not mean they'll end up in high level academia. It usually means getting a degree and being able to get along with people. Most kids who are playing a sport when they're 8 or 9 are done with that sport by 13 or 14 and it doesn't seem to matter all that much what their parents were like. Then they move on to the kind of mediocre lives that almost everyone inevitably lives, but again, it's fun to pretend we're an exception to that.

None of what you said makes sense. I didn't say pursue a degree in underwater basket-weaving. That is not high-level academia.

Everything else you wrote is just an excuse. I blame your parents for not holding you accountable.

I will let you keep all of your winnings because your savings is probably non-existent.

HRE, I think its important for a parent to take interest in and support their kids in their sports and hobbies.

Given my wife's and my size I knew my son wasn't destined for a career at basketball but when he decided at 8 to get good at basketball, and when he had dreams of being an NBA player I didn't discourage him. I helped him in any way I could from rebounding sometimes hundreds of shots some mornings to watching and analyzing games. I made sure he had back up plans like academics in case basketball didnt work out. At 13 he realized he wasn't going to be more than a recreational player and like you mentioned moved on to the next hobby.

The effort kids put into their activities whether or not they continue to pursue them at a high level is important to their development and our approval and validation is integral to their well being.

It's important for parents to let their kids take the lead and support and encourage their kids in any way possible as long as it doesn't become a burden.

Mediocre lives? I don't know maybe mundane.

Our son is a D1 distance runner. We never talked about D1-2 or 3 until the first D1 coach called him in 11th grade.

Growing up, he always had a lot of energy and we made sure he had opportunities to stay active: playing outdoors with friends, biking, hiking and every sport possiblein out town. He loved soccer and would play for hours with his cousins. We had him join track and he excelled there, from what I hear, we never went to his meets that first year.

We were lucky that he was extremely competitive, we never had to push him other than make sure he started the workouts his coach sent.

His senior year he asked us to push him so he could become state champion. We talked about ways to improve, including form work and race strategies. He made his goal.

So stay active and don’t have big expectations, but give them the chance to go where they want to go.

6 and 8 are way too young to be thinking about D1. Think about the best athletes in your Jr high and I'll bet almost none made it to D1 in anything. Support and love it never act disappointed. They will reveal how far they will go.

The important thing, as you said, is letting the kids take the lead. If my kids wanted me to throw batting practice I did. When my youngest wanted to be a varsity runner on what was a very good high school team I told him how he could do it. I didn't push him to run every day. I didn't insist that they take batting practice. All I ever really thought about in terms of their sports futures was helping them get good enough to be able to compete well at the next level. And I never thought about athletic scholarships for them.

It's just crazy for a parent to have kids in elementary school to think about getting athletic scholarships for their kids. I've known guys like that and I've never seen it actually happen. If your seven year old likes tennis and wants lessons that you can afford, do it, but do it to make tennis more enjoyable for the kid now and over maybe the next year or two and not because you see those lessons as means to a grand end.

HRE wrote:

It's just crazy for a parent to have kids in elementary school to think about getting athletic scholarships for their kids.

Let me know when schools stop awarding scholarships to the most talented kids and I'll agree. Until then, most kids who are getting the best scholarships are competing for years. You don't walk on to D1. Sorry to break it to you. Maybe you get closer with running, but not in any sport that requires playmaking and hand-eye coordination.

You mentioned tennis. Some kids in Europe are UTR ranked near pro adults by the time they're 13. Just saw an article on CNN today about Ksenia Efremova, UTR 9+. That's almost Coco Gauff levels, and she's 12. America is drastically falling behind in sports and academia because we think we're better than other countries and think that our kids should make their own choices. Kids eat glue, you nitwits.

brien evans wrote:

Nat Hickey wrote:

If you accept the idea that a parent's job is making his kids the best they can be, which is a good idea, there is no way to know how to do that or if it will work.

Sure there is. They want to play soccer. It's your job to watch soccer videos on YouTube and learn the technique and strategy for them. Then you coach them. Maybe you become an asst. coach on their junior teams. Most importantly, you let them know that it's their goal and you will help them, but if you're going to commit your time and money to their goal and they want to excel that there are no excuses. And you don't take any excuses.

Send me a portion of their winnings.

Sounds a lot like first-world problems .

LikeAnsweringQuestionsOnAmazon. wrote:

brien evans wrote:

Sure there is. They want to play soccer. It's your job to watch soccer videos on YouTube and learn the technique and strategy for them. Then you coach them. Maybe you become an asst. coach on their junior teams. Most importantly, you let them know that it's their goal and you will help them, but if you're going to commit your time and money to their goal and they want to excel that there are no excuses. And you don't take any excuses.

Send me a portion of their winnings.

Sounds a lot like first-world problems .

Agreed. They don't have YouTube in the third world.