Do you care if your girlfriend/wife hangs out with other guys??

Runner Femme,

Here is the deal... Do you go out to bars, go over to their house, go to dinner, etc. with the guys from the xc team without your husband? Probably not.

Sure, I hang with the girls from my old xc/track team too, but with my wife.

Also, I no longer call them to come over, or ask them to lunch. I have a wife, who is also my best friend, and even though she would let me do that, I would rather go with her.

Any activities with the female friends would be group setting things... And by group setting, I mean usually with my wife, or with other guys.

Go read the Ladder Theory:

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

Well that was what I asked in my very first post- is this person's girlfriend inviting him along and limiting her time with these guys, or is she trying to keep him from meeting them and spending all her time with them instead of him? The first case (which is how your relationship is) is fine IMO and the second is a red flag.

But your wife seems ok with becoming friends with your female ex-teammates or at least going out in a group with them. Whereas the original poster said:

Well, I never said that they don't want me to hang out with them.... they usually offer to include me when they go bowling or to a movie or something. But, it's akward. SHE'S their friend, I'm just kind of the baggage. It's not supposed to be like that. Guys are supposed to hang out with their guy friends, and the guy friends bring their girlfriends - not the other way around. when guys hang out with female friends who bring their boyfriends, it's unnatural.

So I guess that he expects his girlfriend to be the baggage. And I'd be pretty pissed if he were my boyfriend under those conditions.

If you want to date a girl and not have to go through any of these problems you have to date an ugly chick. Trust me on this if you are better looking than the girl you are dating, and by better looking I mean much better looking, there isn't a chance in hell that she will ever cheat on you with another guy. This is because no good looking guys are going to want to get with her and she won't want to risk losing you by cheating on you with an ugly guy because she knows that you are the better than her and you are the best she will ever be able to get. Now how low you are going to have to set your standards is all going to depend on how attractive or unnatractive you are. Obviously the more attractive you are the more attractive the girls you can date will be but never go for the best always set your standards below what you are capable of getting. Save the better looking girls to cheat on your loyal puppy dog girlfriend with. Now to the guy who started this thread or any other guy out there are you better looking than your girlfriend or is she better looking than you. If you are better looking you have nothing to worry about. However, if she is better looking than you she will either cheat on you or dump you for someone better it is only a matter of time. Oh yeah and if she is better looking than you then you are just like the girl i described earlier. I guarantee it.

Hahaha, yeah you are right.

In fact, most of the time we go out with my former teammates, my wife ends up talking with them more than me, etc. She actually has gotten to be friends with them, and I with her older friends, so she is closer with the girls than I am now. They will call her to run, etc. and I end up sitting home alone, LOL.

The female friends that she never "clicked" with ended up being phased out, in a way. I hate to sound mean, but if we went out with friends and I could tell she was uncomfortable, the first thing I would do is figure out a way to leave, and avoid the situation in the future. I hope she would do the same for me. That said, both of us are going to give it our best shot.

The same goes for guy friends really, if I have some freak-o guy tag along with us that makes my wife feel uncomfortable, chances are that I will limit my time with him as well...

Ok I am a girl who is in a committed relationship. I live with my boyfriend. Here's my take: I do have guy friends, but I would never go out and hang out with them on my own without my boyfriend. My boyfriend would not go and hang out with his girl friends without me. It's just a matter of respect. Sure, there may be nothing between two friends of the opposite sex, but things change when you get into a relationship. It doesnt matter if "nothin will ever happen," its just repsectful not to put yourself in a situation that will make it uncomfortable for your significant other. To the original poster: Your chick wants it both ways. You dont have to be insecure to not want your significant other hanging out with "friends" of the opposite sex.

dump her

It may sound strange but I don't mind if my wife goes out with her or our "boy" friends without me and she doesn't mind it the other way. I don't mind if she even has sex (protected) with them either. We're not that insecure in our relationship. She makes up for it by bringing her girlfriends over for me to play with now and then.

I'm not saying it's normal but if you love each other and trust each other, it doesn't matter. It's just fun. You have to be able to seperate love and sex.

You have to ask yourself, do you trust her?

I do not care, so long as my wife and girlfriend are not hanging out with the same guys.

Reminds me of the old toast: "to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet."

Did she go to "Band Camp"?

girly runner wrote:

Ok I am a girl who is in a committed relationship. I live with my boyfriend. Here's my take: I do have guy friends, but I would never go out and hang out with them on my own without my boyfriend. My boyfriend would not go and hang out with his girl friends without me. It's just a matter of respect. Sure, there may be nothing between two friends of the opposite sex, but things change when you get into a relationship. It doesnt matter if "nothin will ever happen," its just repsectful not to put yourself in a situation that will make it uncomfortable for your significant other. To the original poster: Your chick wants it both ways. You dont have to be insecure to not want your significant other hanging out with "friends" of the opposite sex.

I agree, it's all a matter of respect.

There are two seperate questions here- let's tackle them one at a time:

Do you care if your girlfriend hangs out with other guys? No, I don't have any problem when my girlfriend does this.

Do you care if your wife hangs out with other guys?

Yes, I have a problem when my wife does this.

CASE CLOSED

marijuologist wrote:

My serious GF has a group of guy friends whom shew knew before we were together, and I pretend not to care when she hangs out with them, but it really pisses me off that she spends time with other guys. I want to be the only man in the world to her. How do the rest of you deal with the "guy friends" situation?

The fact that you cannot communicate your concerns to your GF and have to pretend tells me that your relationship is in jeopardy. She will eventually find another guy who can communicate honestly with her and also have a bigger penis.