So sorry you're going through this. Instead of beating this crap out of yourself over the "Why," just focus on the "How do I recover from this?"
If you have good friends and family, lean of them for support.
I strongly recommend you consider going to a therapist on your own.
Man, such a similar experience to what I went through. The pain is unbearable when in it.
It’s impossible to comprehend right now but the others on here are right. Ten years from now you’ll look back at this and think it was the best thing that happened to you.
Such a typical story. Generalizing here, but women are the one pushing for marriage almost in all cases. Dude gives in and finds himself pretty dang happy and growing in the marriage. Chick gets bored and leaves.
Seen it so many times with people I know. So in the end, the person pushing for marriage is the one that walks within 5 years of tying the knot.
been there done it wrote:
Such a typical story. Generalizing here, but women are the one pushing for marriage almost in all cases. Dude gives in and finds himself pretty dang happy and growing in the marriage. Chick gets bored and leaves.
Seen it so many times with people I know. So in the end, the person pushing for marriage is the one that walks within 5 years of tying the knot.
So much truth here. My ex-wife went into almost immediate shutdown a month after the honeymoon. I just couldn’t figure it out. In retrospect, the wedding felt like one big glamorous party for her and not a celebration of two people. She just gave up, gained 50 pounds. and went a crushing depression (she was on meds before we met) and I eventually ended it after two years. Best thing I ever did.
During the divorce, she lost about 60 lbs and she was remarried a year later. Recent photos show she must be close to 200lbs now. I wish her all the best, and that she is mentally well.
You only been married 4 years? And no kids? There's nothing to discuss, bro. Take her at her word and get that divorce ASAP. don't even think about trying to 'save the marriage'. Even if it could be saved, who cares? Game over. Move on.
DanM wrote:
Do you have enough cash so that you can immediately move into an apartment and continue to live there for the foreseeable future ? If so, then move out now. Get away from her ASAP. The faster you purge her from all aspects of your life, the better. You will be single again soon. Try to live as a single person in every way, shape and form. Find a girlfriend and be sure that your wife sees the two of you together, but only after the divorce.
Umm, that sounds like a good way to weird out your new girlfriend. Would not recommend creepily arranging such a scenario.
DanM wrote:
Do you have enough cash so that you can immediately move into an apartment and continue to live there for the foreseeable future ? If so, then move out now. Get away from her ASAP. The faster you purge her from all aspects of your life, the better. You will be single again soon. Try to live as a single person in every way, shape and form. Find a girlfriend and be sure that your wife sees the two of you together, but only after the divorce.
Great idea. Here is the good news: this theory works just as good in 9th grade as it did in 8th grade.