sorry bro wrote:
well,, wrote:
When I was in my mid-20s I had already enjoyed regular sex for 10 years, and I have never caught any diseases. My wife was also very sexually experienced when we met. Who the hell wants to marry a virgin?
The chances of you not having HPV are non-existent.
Does it feel bad knowing that while I was banging hot chicks for 10 years, you were in your parent´s basement jerking off?
You married a Catholic girl and believed she was a virgin? Come on man! Isn't it universal knowledge that Catholic girls learn about all of the loopholes (or should I just say holes) that allow them to refer to themselves as virgins?
Catholic idol worship and hypocrisy. God, I miss those days!
MARTHA STEWART HOOKED UP WITH KANYE WEST AT THE 2007 VMAs wrote:
I think people get really defensive during these types of discussions (pre-marital sex and also drug conversations); people who think these things are okay don't like being called out for doing something "wrong" and the more conservative crowd can be holier-than-thou. Also this is by definition one of those things that are mutually exclusive (either you have had sex before marriage or not) so it's almost impossible for either side to walk in the other's shoes so to speak.
my wife and i did not have sex before marriage, mostly because we are Catholic. there were pros and cons to this decision, but overall we feel it was a major net positive. I think that society puts far too much emphasis on sex; it's not something that you need or deserve, and I think its most important use is as a bond between two people. There's a certain selfish nature to the modern pre-marital sexual culture, whereby the participants are really only in it for themselves to feel satisfied.
what one of the posters said before about impulse control I think is perfectly valid. I think there is an over-reliance on sex as a measure of the health of a relationship at the expense of things like communication, financial decisions, physical health, etc. If the sex is really good but you can't be open and honest with your partner about your feelings because you've ignored it or haven't practiced, then you've greatly disadvantaged your marriage.
to the "try before you buy argument", I did not marry my wife to have sex with her the same way that I would buy a car to drive it. I married my wife because I want to spend the rest of my life with her; sex is only a part of that equation. and also, sex is something that you can work on and practice. again, if you view sex as a bonding experience and not as a device for selfish pleasure, this becomes easier to understand.
there is a ceremonial aspect to waiting until marriage to have sex that i also think is nice.
those are the pros. the biggest con of the experience was figuring out what was "okay" in the Catholic church and how to align my beliefs with reality. transitioning from pre-marriage, where sex is strictly off limits, to post-marriage, where all of the sudden sex is okay, was jarring. being a virgin was a pretty big part of my identity and it felt wrong to let that go at first. then there's also the question of birth control; my wife and i were young and didn't want kids right away, but doesn't the bible say birth control is wrong? but is natural family planning really that great of an idea? and isn't that just another form of ensuring you don't get pregnant? it all seemed very contradictory but we figured out what worked for us. also it took us a while to get the mechanics down, but again that amounts to practice and communication.
Great post. Thanks for sharing.
Only the Good Die Young
Billy Joel
Come out Virginia don't let me wait
Catholic girls start much too late
But sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well be the one
Well they showed you a statue and told you to pray
They built you a temple and locked you away
But they never told you the price you would pay
For things that you might have done
Only the good die young [Repeat: x 4]
You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain't too pretty we ain't too proud
We might be laughing a bit too loud
But that would never hurt no one
Come on Virginia show me a sign
Send up a signal I'll throw you the line
The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind
Never lets in the sun
And only the good die young
Only the good die young [Repeat: x 3]
You got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmation
You got a brand new soul and a cross of gold
But Virginia they didn't give you quite enough information
You never count on me, when you considered trying sodomy
They say there's a heaven for those who'll wait
Some say it's better but I say it ain't
I'd rather laugh with the punks than cry with the saints
Smokers have much more fun
And only the good die young
Only the good die young [Repeat: x 3]
Yeah!
You say your mother told you all that I could give you was some mild abrasions
She never cared for me, but did she ever say a prayer for me
Come out, come out, Virginia don't let me wait
Catholic girls start much too late
Sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well be the one
Only the good die young [Repeat: x 4]
Only the good, yeah
Only the good die young [Repeat: x 3]
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Huh!
Catholic? wrote:
You married a Catholic girl and believed she was a virgin? Come on man! Isn't it universal knowledge that Catholic girls learn about all of the loopholes (or should I just say holes) that allow them to refer to themselves as virgins?
Catholic idol worship and hypocrisy. God, I miss those days!
That's why I'm going to marry a Muslim girl
Kiddo in collego wrote:
Do you guys believe in sex before marriage? Why or why not? Asking for a friend.
Only anal. Does that count?
Banana Bread wrote:
I guess viruses and diseases are just biology to? Who cares if you get them it is literally nature. I'm been sarcastic by the way.
Are you an actual retard? Yes, STDS are biological. Condoms fool, condoms.
And we are talking about sex before marriage, not sleeping with 4678 people.
Mong.
Do not do it. Takes some self-control, but it is very much worth it long term. I have a very happy marriage. My wife supports me in the things I do, running in particular. Over the years she has supported me enough that I was able to run 80 miles a week consistently while raising a growing family that is currently at almost 11 children who are successful runners themselves and are succeeding in many other ways. She runs herself, even when pregnant. We have had minor disagreements from time to time which we have been able to resolve without external help - if you do not count a prayer. Abstaining from sex before marriage, and being completely faithful after is one of the key elements to the magic.
muttonchops wrote:
LM wrote:
Of course. Their is no rational argument I've ever heard given why you shouldn't. They are all borne out of emotional objections "You can't have respect", "It's not mature", "It's WRONG, god says so". Etc.
No one has ever, to my knowledge, formulated a rational argument for why waiting until you sign some papers and have a ceremony suddenly makes sex okay.
Sex was designed for pleasure and/or procreation between just one woman and one man for life.
AIDS and STD's would not exist if everyone practiced this. Instead people abuse the gift and suffer heartache, disease and brokenness.
I lost my virginity on my honeymoon in my mid-20's and am so happy I did things right.
I said "rationale". You open by saying sex was "designed". That's the opposite of rational. There is zero evidence or logic to suggest sex was designed. I don't even know what that would mean.
All logical evidence points to monogamy as a recent development starting perhaps 10,000 yrs ago with the beginning of agrarian, crop societies and property notions. Many primitive cultures are blatantly non-monogamous and there are many pieces of evidence that suggest that we arose as a nonmonagamous species: things such as the unique shape of our penis being designed to pull previous sperm out of the vagina, size of penis, testicle size, etc. Primitive humans were almost certainly non monogamous.
We also know that, barring something very unique that we haven't thought of yet from an evolutionary perspective it would be 100% disadvantageous for a male to be lifetime monogamous, and would likely be disadvantageous, to a lesser degree, for a female as well. She would do better, from a standpoint of passing on genes, i.e. evolutionary to have a kid until perhaps age 5 or 6 with one partner, then move on to a different partner for another kid, etc. (this ensures more genetic variety and greater survival chances).
-----
Now about AIDS and STDs. You're mostly right they would not exist if everyone practiced this. They would exist in some levels but they would be rare (they got to humans in the first place after all). That is a rationale point. I would counter by also saying that AIDS and STDs would not exist at any appreciable if guys were generally smart and wrapped their sh1t.
-----
I lost my virginity on my honeymoon in my mid-20's and am so happy I did things right.
Even this is slightly irrational. You did things "right" by your own personal views of what is right, which was probably largely handed down to you by society and you adopted. Not inherently a bad thing, but it's neither a rationale nor logical belief. It's an emotional one. You cannot justify why it is "right". It just feels right to you and so it is.
Legless wrote:
You massive weirdo! wrote:
Jeez!!!!!!
Marriage is a man-made construct. Dipping your wick into the nectar pool is biology.
The opium of the masses strikes again....pathetic.
Money and the legal system are also man-made constructs! Are you so dismissive of these things as well?
If we are honest, both of those things have caused a hell of a lot of trouble as well. Of course they were both quite essential to the formation of modern society.
Their is a key difference though. Money seems to be important for the society and lifestyle we have to do. It causes an insane amount of trouble, but it also neccessary to enjoy the wonderful (imo) lifestyle we have today. Same with the judicial system, it has flaws, but it's generally working to provide equity and remove people who readily harm others from society. These things are good.
Marriage....doesn't do those same things. The only inherent benefit to marriage is that often you or your partner like to call yourself married and it feels good to do so. Lots of women especially seem to love this. However, there is no benefit to being married. EVERYTHING you can do while married you can also do with a committed co-inhabiting relationship. There are of course massive downsides in most cases of marriage the most significant being it rarely works. Most marriages end in divorce. Of the ones that don't, many of those are unhappy with people sticking it out "because society says to". Cheating is also rampant. 4/5 people, 80%, say they would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught. A self reported 20% (likely higher in reality) ADMIT to cheating.
Monogamy doesn't work*, but we keep acting like it's be FAR the best relationship system despite piling evidence to the contrary. It's really one of the stronger societal delusions I've ever seen.
*yes, I know there are cases where a man and woman remain married their entire life, no one cheats, the sex life remains robust, and both people are made better for it. These marriages are awesome. They are also exceedingly rare.
LM wrote:
muttonchops wrote:
Sex was designed for pleasure and/or procreation between just one woman and one man for life.
AIDS and STD's would not exist if everyone practiced this. Instead people abuse the gift and suffer heartache, disease and brokenness.
I lost my virginity on my honeymoon in my mid-20's and am so happy I did things right.
I said "rationale". You open by saying sex was "designed". That's the opposite of rational. There is zero evidence or logic to suggest sex was designed. I don't even know what that would mean.
All logical evidence points to monogamy as a recent development starting perhaps 10,000 yrs ago with the beginning of agrarian, crop societies and property notions. Many primitive cultures are blatantly non-monogamous and there are many pieces of evidence that suggest that we arose as a nonmonagamous species: things such as the unique shape of our penis being designed to pull previous sperm out of the vagina, size of penis, testicle size, etc. Primitive humans were almost certainly non monogamous.
We also know that, barring something very unique that we haven't thought of yet from an evolutionary perspective it would be 100% disadvantageous for a male to be lifetime monogamous, and would likely be disadvantageous, to a lesser degree, for a female as well. She would do better, from a standpoint of passing on genes, i.e. evolutionary to have a kid until perhaps age 5 or 6 with one partner, then move on to a different partner for another kid, etc. (this ensures more genetic variety and greater survival chances).
-----
Now about AIDS and STDs. You're mostly right they would not exist if everyone practiced this. They would exist in some levels but they would be rare (they got to humans in the first place after all). That is a rationale point. I would counter by also saying that AIDS and STDs would not exist at any appreciable if guys were generally smart and wrapped their sh1t.
-----
I lost my virginity on my honeymoon in my mid-20's and am so happy I did things right.
Even this is slightly irrational. You did things "right" by your own personal views of what is right, which was probably largely handed down to you by society and you adopted. Not inherently a bad thing, but it's neither a rationale nor logical belief. It's an emotional one. You cannot justify why it is "right". It just feels right to you and so it is.
But did they get there via sex in the first place? Obviously not.
I had sex before marriage only one time and I caught genital herpes. I should have listened to my Christian upbringing.
Kyle2222 wrote:
I had sex before marriage only one time and I caught genital herpes. I should have listened to my Christian upbringing.
You should have listened to your 9th grade Health teacher when he told you to wrap yo sh1t.
Realnews wrote:
Don't you guys have a message board at BYU?
haha. well played!
they're too busy drinking Dr Pepper and having an*l sex (Mormons don't count that as sex)
It's hilarious to see people call no sex before marriage "doing it right".
muttonchops wrote:
Sex was designed for pleasure and/or procreation between just one woman and one man for life.
.
The thing that makes me laugh about this is I'm pretty sure that everyone here with their puritanical views voted for Trump. A whoring, cheating, divorcing, abuser of women as the man to represent their views. Every stereotype and caricature other countries have about the stupidity of Americans has been proven true.
Hilary Clinton didn't cheat. She actually stayed faithful and stood by her marital vows to her POS husband and you fools crucified her for it. And then you have the Donald, who's behaviour is a million times worse, yet you will explain it away and forgive it no matter how abhorrent. You can't invent a population this stupid.
Oh hey, guess what - water makes you wet. Idiots.
Sasha Pachev wrote:
Do not do it. Takes some self-control, but it is very much worth it long term. I have a very happy marriage. My wife supports me in the things I do, running in particular. Over the years she has supported me enough that I was able to run 80 miles a week consistently while raising a growing family that is currently at almost 11 children who are successful runners themselves and are succeeding in many other ways. She runs herself, even when pregnant. We have had minor disagreements from time to time which we have been able to resolve without external help - if you do not count a prayer. Abstaining from sex before marriage, and being completely faithful after is one of the key elements to the magic.
LOL @ you if you think your wife hasn't chewed on someone else's turkey leg!
The mormons have arrived. Ugh.
stfu JS wrote:
Sasha Pachev wrote:
Do not do it. Takes some self-control, but it is very much worth it long term. I have a very happy marriage. My wife supports me in the things I do, running in particular. Over the years she has supported me enough that I was able to run 80 miles a week consistently while raising a growing family that is currently at almost 11 children who are successful runners themselves and are succeeding in many other ways. She runs herself, even when pregnant. We have had minor disagreements from time to time which we have been able to resolve without external help - if you do not count a prayer. Abstaining from sex before marriage, and being completely faithful after is one of the key elements to the magic.
LOL @ you if you think your wife hasn't chewed on someone else's turkey leg!
Statistically, it's quite likely. If they really have 11 kids though....there is a better chance she may not have. Women tend to have renewed interest in, and greater fidelity towards, their husband in the first few years following childbearing.
According to epidemiological studies, condoms are only about 30% effective in preventing the spread of HPV and herpes. HPV, herpes and even syphilis are spread by skin to skin contact, not by fluids, so if an individual has sores outside of the covered area (or if you are using bare hands, giving or receiving oral, etc. without a dental dam) then you are at high risk of transmission. Trusting a condom to prevent the spread of those diseases is like hitting in baseball, you're going to hit it about a third of the time, the rest of the time you're out.