Smashed my son's Xbox with a hammer as punishment. Now he won't talk to me. Not sure if I screwed up.

Sorry to say but that was stupid. You should've just hide the xbox from him. That would've been just as productive. Wasting money is not the solution

3hr-marathoner wrote:

Imagine if your father burned your running shoes as punishment.

That would be an act of pure evil. No comparison with the OPs hot head moment.

Disrespect met with a violent act. Hmm, and you're the dad. Hmm, wonders.

apologize. ask for forgiveness. buy another x box.

talk with your son about making amends . Sounds like you both need a better way to communicate to one another.

both need to agree to treat each other kindly and with respect.

I think that kids today need to be spanked with a belt. It will teach them to respect their parents.

I kept reading expecting to read about Mike becoming a DJ, "running" a BQ and having a few fights at shows. Would have been an epic LR post.

If he doesn't do what you want, smash some more of his stuff with a hammer. Keep doing it until it works.

You are unwell, and might absolutely be a crazy person. You almost certainly need counseling, and I suspect you have had relationship and interpersonal issues your entire life.

Pics. Of both the ex wife and the xbox.

Better than leaving mushroom prints on him.

MurderDub wrote:

Agent #5304 wrote:

The FBI has tracked your IP address. We're watching you.

I said Sifan has a nice figure for a runner and that got taken down yet this is still up!?

Sorry to offend. I thought an obvious troll post was an appropriate response to an obvious troll thread.

Parents are human, they get upset and lose control. Any parent that says they haven't lost control at least once is a liar or very unique. When a good parent losses control, they apologize and try not to have it happen again. The apology is not for the punishment, but for losing control. A parent's job is to correct bad behavior, sometimes it takes a strong message to get a kid straight, albeit you should not issue discipline in an out of control manner. A disrespectful child will drive a parent nuts. Most of the posters on this board are kids themselves and are incapable of seeing things from a parents point of view. When they become parents and have a disrespectful child, they will understand. Btw, I once busted up my son's laptop, he is an adult now and laughs about it. If smashing your son's Xbox is the worst you have done...he will get over it.

patti wrote:

apologize. ask for forgiveness. buy another x box.

talk with your son about making amends . Sounds like you both need a better way to communicate to one another.

both need to agree to treat each other kindly and with respect.

This whole thread is great bahah,.

OP troll or no troll doesn't matter, this is the best response in this thread.

D2sprinter wrote:

1.) Smashing the kids xbox sets a terrible example. I mean take it away from him and lock it up or at least give it away to the needy. You just destroyed hundreds of dollars cuz you got pissed off. Your child will probably smash stuff every time something makes him mad as an adult because he learned this behavior from you

2.) YOUR divorce is probably screwing your kid in the head right now, whatever the cause of the divorce is. Don't force your kid to split custody, if he wants to live with his mom full time let him.

3.) At the end of the day your child is a reflection of you as a parent.

Correct.

OP - the divorce is probably hard on him and you're correct to assume this, and ultimately he'll mirror whatever behavior you deem acceptable (your own actions). So he sent around some nude pics at school? He probably thinks it's ok to do so because you haven't exemplified the right way to treat women.

You've dug yourself a pretty big hole. He's probably locked himself in his room and is wacking it to the aforementioned nude pics. I would apologize for your overreaction but reiterate his behavior is still unacceptable. Set some ground rules for him to earn back an Xbox and YOU buy it for him. Then I'd suggest spending some quality time with him, especially since you're going to see him even less going forward. Take a guys trip somewhere, sporting event, do something he's interested in even if you dislike it.

You didn't smash the XBox to punish him, you smashed it because you lost control of your temper. When you understand the difference and are able to act on it, you will be a better parent.

Whoa that was bad ... wrote:

You have just empowered him to see that it's OKAY for him to use a hammer to protect himself.

I am puzzled wrote:

So forgive me for asking, but your father sexually abused you, but you think that him destroying your xbox would have been worse?

I didn't say it was worse. I said he demonstrated it was OKAY to use a hammer in a violent rage.

Dril wrote:

It’s obvious where your son gets his sh!t behavior from.

And why his wife left him.

To the OP,

First, while others are going to disagree with your smashing ways, at least you took the first step towards following through what the house rules are . . .

Now, admittedly, this is a bit too extreme and their is no turn around point. I suspect that your divorce, like most, didn't end with kumbayah singing and dancing together. There were probably lots of disagreements leading up to your divorce and your son noticed. Perhaps you are currently amicable with the wife, but your son is dealing with a lot more than you think. His whole world is not divided among multiple dwelling and his safety net, his parents, are now divided.

Your son needs to spend quality time with you. You need to be the bigger person and go and open up the conversation between you to. I wouldn't harp too long on the smashing as that will just bring up unpleasant memories for both. Instead, focus on a building the relationship and a way to have your son "earn" a new one.

After you have tried to build the relationship by spending time with your kid, then set the ground rules, stick by them, and be the calm, collected father figure he needs. Kids crave stability and normalcy. His normal is uprooted and his mechanism is to not deal with it and try to put it aside by distracting himself in the virtual world. He would rather ignore his current situation than face it, understandably so.

I would strongly suggest that you both go to therapy together or meet with school counselor. It may not be possible for you to break through alone. Also, keep it mind that building a relationship again is going to take time and energy. Obviously, you were already in the hole before this smashing incident so put yourself in his shoes. Explain to him how much pain your are going through too as well. Divorce is rough for everyone.

Good luck! Focus on the future. We all make mistakes, none of us are perfect.