i cant stand my "running buddy" anymore

I think you should show up to the optional practices so it's clear to the coach that you care about how the team does. Other than that, don't feel compelled to run with the girl who is bothering you. It's okay to having a falling out with this girl, but don't make it easy for them to think you don't care about the team.

Tell her, "run with me then you get to come with me to the woods. First we do a big dump in the woods, you know, together to build sisterhood...leave that big steaming ladyturd under the oak tree....then we meet the gang of creepy middle aged men who inhabit LR. They are all coachperverts. It's great because we're going to do a real gangb@ng and boy do they b@ng well! They love it! Their wives and gfs can't do it like we do it! Any runnergirl knows nothing beats seconds of mature coachc0ck! Hey come on girl, let's go it's partytime!!"

That should solve your problem for all time....

Just out of curiosity what are your times?

runnergirl250 wrote:

Other things would happen like her complaining how at my milage no college coach would want me because it's too high, then her secretly upping her milage during indoor and being shady about it. Or I would tell her to slow down easy runs and she would tell other people im trying to sabatoge her. It is so frustrating to me and I know i have somewhat contributed by occasionally one stepping her or not being completely forthcoming about what workout paces i ran but mainly i feel like my tendency has just been to avoid her.

Just tell her no college coach wants her because she's too slow!

When my running partners aren't in the mood for talking they pick up the pace.

I agree, wait until you get in the corporate world. A sign of a good boss has a flexible personality.

hi! thanks for the advice to the helpful people . I have a group run with her tonight so that'll be fun ://

Responses:

Questionfortoday: thanks thats good advice, lol no there is nothing weird about her and coach dont worry, basically shes more of a goody two shoes to him while i sometimes alter workouts (with his permission but it bothers him a little i think) plus shes just more of a chatty person in general so she knows coach better.

Kvothe: I reread my post and it is honestly not exaggerated, although my phrasing was probably bad in that i only know of one person she told i was "sabotaging" her, although it might have been more, i just phrased it wrong because more people found out but idk if it was from her or gossip, sorry my mistake in phrasing but i'm trying to be honest

RunnerMom1981: this reminded me a lot of what i assume my mom would say. thats really good advice and ill try to keep it in mind

- for everyone saying focus on my own training thats what ill try to do, i am confident in what im doing right now and that its what will benefit me the most, but as im sure you no xc training can be scary because you get a little slower or whatever

Pond scum: ok ill be carful dude, i read an article on gaslighting just now and i really dont think shes that calculating but you never no i guess. thanks

DistanceRunner68: thanks this is really good advice, im definitely not going to confront her about this as there is no way that would go down well. Yes people are aware of her attitude on the team lol

C'mon now: yes there are two sides to every story but i really am telling the truth (at least from what i think is a reasonably fair perspective??), yes there have been runs where i have half stepped her or ran with other people or sassed her about how we should slow down, these aren't my finest moments or things that im proud of and i can honestly say that anytime i was sassy to her i would apologize and when i run with others she makes is such a big deal that i would have to make a big thing of how sorry i was. luckily sense this xc preseason started we have drifted apart so she didnt get mad(or at least she didnt make it apparent to me that she was mad) when i ran with other people hallelujah!!

as for lying about workouts thats not what i said, this probably wasnt my best decision but what i meant was that if she would ask me what my paces were on the cool down or the next day i would say i didn't remember, but i will be honest that i would occasionally add an extra 400 or hill rep or something without telling anyone- oops but it wasn't like i was tricking her or something ugh

Flagpole: ok i will try to just not let her get under my skin, i guess your right and sorry this is dramatic of me but i love running and of course i want it to be a good happy experience ya know. thanks for the advice.

That’s rough: thanks this is also really good advice, i agree talking to her about this wouldnt go down well, i hope that continue to distance myself from her it will be easier to focus on my training and racing because i wont always have her issues and drama swirling around in my head

by and bye: ok this sounds like good advice and similar to what ive tried to do but its sometimes hard because after like 40 minutes of running we just end up chatting and i feel so mean if she like telling me how hard everything is for her and i just act like i dont care, hopefully she wont think im being mean and she just wont start talking as much if i dont entertain the conversation from the beginning, i just dont want her to be like "why arent you talking why are you mad"

Coach Creeper & shaddaaapp: well this is probably unnecessary for me to include why not; i am prettier than her lol

Banana Bread: thanks, that is nice of you to say and reassuring . i dont really know where tulsa is though so sorry! haha

Machate99: thanks for the advice!

northeast runner: ok that sounds like a good idea and then i will know if i was changing to do what she wants so i can be accountable

Shoebacca: sounds good thank you, luckily she is going to a camp next week then the week after that im going on vacation so i wont be running with her much for a little bit.

Speed is key!: ummm ive given a lot of details yikes shes gonna find this but i guess no one is still reading this anyways- 1600 sub 5:15, 5k sub 19 (ik im not that good whateverrrrr)

Runs like 29's at a crappy college: lol if i did that i can see getting myself kicked off the team!

this was so long im ready for the "jeez runnergirl250 you have no life" posts but i dont want to ignore people who took time out of their day to help me and its summer so i have some fee time, sorry if i didnt reply to you but thanks again for the advice, i will reread it or maybe update this tread if i have any issues with her haha

I'm sad that you didn't respond to me, but that's okay because nobody likes me anyway.

badsituation wrote:

One tactic is to say the time you run together no longer is working for you, if that's possible.

But it is not a *good* tactic, because she will simply counter your objection and suggest another time.

Be kind but direct (these are not mutually exclusive). Say "I've give this a lot of thought, and I've made up my mind that I won't be running with you in the future."

End of drama.

runnergirl250 wrote:sorry for the long post, please give me advice, i want to be mature and a team player and i dont want to be sucked into competing with a teamate but i just can't stand her!

In a nutshell, try to recognize the fact that the world would be a better place if women thought like men. Not only would everyone be enjoying more frequent recreational and no-strings-attached sex, but this type of whiny girl drama would never occur. Act accordingly.

I would just ignore her shitty attitude entirely. Go easy on the recovery days, if she starts one stepping you, let her go. If she has snide comments toward you, don't even acknowledge them. If she is pleasant with you exchange pleasantries and be civil. Sooner or later she will learn you don't like her bullshit comments and either totally lose it or become a much better teammate.

Remember, you only have one more season with this girl... unless of course she decides to follow you off to college, which is a move I can see people like this pulling off. In the end she basically just wants to be you.

Love how the original poster (made troll) makes the girl out to be a weak minded twit afraid to own her feelings of disgust for her arsehole teammate. Meanwhile most women have no problems shunning other females when they cross acceptable boundaries of decency and civility. Men tend to be more wishy washy and tolerant of nasty comments from supposed friends.

I hope you're able to stand again very soon.

Stop with the saccharine farce and show that girl who’s boss.

runnergirl250 wrote:

sorry, my main question is how to avoid my bad teammate while without making coach hate me or how to have a better less competitive friendship with her (which i doubt is even possible at this point)

sorry if this is dramatic or teen vouge-esc but i am serious

ps when i run with other teammates she gets pissed off because thats "not what good running buddies do"

do i just wait it out bc i only have a year left?

Call her out on her passive aggressive bullsh!t

runnergirl250 wrote:

sorry, my main question is how to avoid my bad teammate while without making coach hate me or how to have a better less competitive friendship with her (which i doubt is even possible at this point)

sorry if this is dramatic or teen vouge-esc but i am serious

ps when i run with other teammates she gets pissed off because thats "not what good running buddies do"

do i just wait it out bc i only have a year left?

"not what good running buddies do"

lol, there's not a single person on this Earth outside of a Will Farrel character that could say this with a straight face.

up ur troll game or retire

Gonna be honest all I hear is whine whine whine

Are all runners this whiney all the time? Because that's the vibe I get

You can go my route and do it solo. I was so obsessed with running that while in college I’d eat in my split shorts even during dinner.

After classes and lab, I go for a run at 530 and finish at 7 and then go to the dining commons right after running.

If I ever removed my Bluetooth earbuds while eating, I could feel the tense awkwardness that I gave. However I just kept doing that for two years. Then I spectated a meet st my college and the director of Xc and cross approached me. I did not ask him if I could walk on.

You see, dear, I was all up in my own head. Now that I graduated, I have their dreams like trying out for MLS.

No matter what though, it is your training that gives you confidence. Don’t let anyone sabotage you or you sabotage yourself. ?

- sub 150 800 guy