Kent AC wich is in the Kent region in England races in the Surrey regional cross country league

And Kent's women runners are intersex, too. This intersex / intercounty nonsense has gotten completely out of hand.

But.. we can and will and we will continue to do so. We are Kent AC.. we'll do what we want.. read the small print in the Cone-tract...

Bowls wrote:

But.. we can and will and we will continue to do so. We are Kent AC.. we'll do what we want.. read the small print in the Cone-tract...

Cone-tract aside, I was once supposed to be getting a ride to a Surrey XC meet with the Kent guys.

We were supposed to meet ootside Threshers. They were loading all this booze into their car. And one M60 guy (used to be a 31 minute 10k runner no less) says “Ooh, I’ve had a bit to drink”, like. “Would you drive us home… to Cardiff”. I come back the next morning on a National Express coach. It was sort of like an SAS operation, you know. Your mission: Gan ‘til Cardiff, have full sex with a man, come back on the coach. Sort of like Operation Bravo-Two-Zero. Although more like Bravo-Six-Zero. By Randy McNab.

Since then I've always been, let's say, a Kent AC-sceptic.

Bowls wrote:

But.. we can and will and we will continue to do so. We are Kent AC.. we'll do what we want.. read the small print in the Cone-tract...

Not if Bill Adcocks has anything to do with it.

I met the chairman of Kent AC once. He was preparing a speech for their AGM. I gave him the following advice:

If you’re ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say “My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I’m late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said ‘I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.’” Straight away you’ve got them by the jaffas

Australia and New Zealand aren't even in the same FIFA Confederation. And that's OK.

Randy McKnob!

I am pretty when the Belgravians see the Kent boys they are awe. In desperation yelling it's "Kent"....."Kent"...."Kent"..........................................."KENT".......'Kent' -oh they've not seen us. "Kent!"

Dan Dan wrote:

I am pretty when the Belgravians see the Kent boys they are awe. In desperation yelling it's "Kent"....."Kent"...."Kent"..........................................."KENT".......'Kent' -oh they've not seen us. "Kent!"

Are you sure it’s Kent and not something else?

Alpha Papa wrote:

I met the chairman of Kent AC once. He was preparing a speech for their AGM. I gave him the following advice:

If you’re ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say “My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I’m late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said ‘I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.’” Straight away you’ve got them by the jaffas

That's quite unusual that you should say that, but I believe the very same chairman of Kent AC once gave me advice on how he went about selecting his team for an upcoming XC meet (most likely in a county that most definitely ISN'T Kent [much to the ire of some posters round here]).

First of all, he told me he'd select John Gilbert (2:20:19 finisher in London; a solid bet), but after that (I quote) "then I’d gan looking for Peter Lighting (2nd finisher for Kent last week in London).. I’d be hovering, just doon the road from his hoose, there. And he’s see us, but I’d duck down behind the trees. And he’s thinks he’s safe, right. And he’s just about to put his key in the front door, and I’d come up from behind the hedge. “Hello, you b*stard!”. He panics, right. And he gans in the hoose. So I get the 30mm canon, and I take out the fish pond. Koi carp in there, £20 each, right. And then, I’ll just tilt the helicopter over to one side, and the machine gun bullets are chewing up the drive, right. He comes oot “Oh no! not me Triumph Stag, I’ve just had it resprayed!”. I cut it right in half, right. And then he gans “Aaarrgh!”, and he runs up on the garage roof. I say “Right, this is for you, Pete;” he goes “No, no!”. He’s beggin' us, he’s beggin' us, man. “No! Please! Don’t!”. And then I fly off to Cornwall, and just smash into the sea in a big ball of flames."

Unusual on the face of it, but those boys from Kent can run pretty darn fast.

Rumour has it that at this years league AGM they voted in favour of renaming the league "Surrey and District League"

Not really sure what Kent need to do to appease everyone -pretty much didn't put a team out for the first fixture to give everyone else a chance anyway. God knows what we will have to do next -people will start suggesting we need to join the Kent league instead..

I was staying in a hotel with Kent AC during a county champs XC. I happened to overhear their nutritionist explaining a secret tip. He said “You know the breakfast buffet? Eat as much as you like but from an eight-inch plate? See that? [Showed Peter Lightning his plate] Twelve inches… Keep it in my room.”

Now we know how Kent AC are always so well fuelled for races.

It will be worth winning the Surrey League for a 7th time in a row next season just so we can throw another monkey into the Thames again as part of the clubs ritual celebration.

Monkey boy wrote:

It will be worth winning the Surrey League for a 7th time in a row next season just so we can throw another monkey into the Thames again as part of the clubs ritual celebration.

And feed beef burgers to the swans too surely?

County borders are overrated wrote:

Not really sure what Kent need to do to appease everyone -pretty much didn't put a team out for the first fixture to give everyone else a chance anyway.

I thought that was because you’re transfers hadn’t gone through. Or was it because there was too much complacency? A case of old Billy big boll*cks.

Wait. For six consecutive years, Surrey has failed to win the Surrey XC league?

I really wish I knew who started this thread.

Good to see James has a registered name though!! Hi!!

You know it's time to call it a day when... wrote:

Wait. For six consecutive years, Surrey has failed to win the Surrey XC league?

Do you mean a Surrey club? I thought you lot were meant to be well educated toffs?

You know it's time to call it a day when... wrote:

Wait. For six consecutive years, Surrey has failed to win the Surrey XC league?

I believe that's mainly down to how in the past there's been rumours of Kent AC arriving early at Surrey XC venues to sabotage them. If they see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and a nice pond in it, they fill in the pond with concrete, they plow the family into the soil, they blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for their wife who is also their brother.

That's Kent AC in a nutshell. But yeah, those guys can sure run fast.