Remarried Ex-Wife still keeps tabs on me....why?

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5 years ago 12/01/2019 6:32pm EST

re: There's A Light

There's A Light wrote:
Financial Analyst wrote:
Did the rich guy dump her before marrying and she wants to get back with you now? Since you say that other guy was a rich finance type, then he probably did a cost analysis of being with her versus the decline in her youth and projected that her attractiveness no longer covers the amount he is spending versus what he can pick up on the open market. Essentially, that other guy leases. You don't get rich by sticking with a declining asset with increasing upkeep costs.
The guy she left me for is a short, overweight man....but money talks. I've never met him. They are still together from what I understand, as she no longer goes by her maiden name.
My new wife is very attractive. Maybe that has something to do with it? Jealously? I dunno.

If you are with an attractive woman, she is VERY JEALOUS. Women will be jealous of guys they don't even want to be with if the guy is with another woman. If you are with an attractive woman, have a child together, and are happy, she will be very, very jealous and questioning her decisions. I would avoid trying to play into it at all and just focus on your own life (sounds like you're already doing this). Women can be very vindictive, and if things start going poorly in her relationship, she could try to find ways to screw up yours. Just stay away from her, block her if you have to.

Congrats on moving on and being happy. That's really great, man.

5 years ago 12/01/2019 7:08pm EST

re: asdfsd23

Most of what people have said here is just conjecturing bs. Most likely explanation: she's just curious how thing's are going for you. End of story.

You should delete your facebook and linkedin and twitter accounts for sure, though. Just good precautionary action against anyone getting too 'curious'.

5 years ago 12/02/2019 12:53pm EST

re: A Wonder Life

A Wonder Life wrote:
I must admit I sometimes look at my ex's FB profile only to confirm that his wife is really plain. Normally I wouldn't get fun out of this, but he dumped me repeatedly, informing me that he wanted a "tall, busty, good looking girlfriend". His wife is neither, she is very plain and has a problem with baldness and a rather unpleasant voice, but she must be nice to have stayed with him for so long. He also liked to tell anyone who couldn't avoid listening how successful he was going to be. He isn't, particularly. He probably doesn't interview well with employers that are looking for actual knowledge.
That ex also failed to enter me for a championship race I had qualified for by medalling in a regional championship, telling me that I was too old at the age of 23 (when there was no age limit) as he was in charge of college entries. He did other not so nice stuff too but years later he kept trying to get in touch with me and I was icily polite and made it clear I wasn't interested.
I do still occasionally look at his FB profile and his LinkedIn though, as its clear he hasn't really lived up to his own hype. It amuses me. I doubt your ex wife is interested in you, but she might get amusement out of looking online occasionally if you were an ***e. Which is quite possible if you are conceited enough to assume she does it because she is unhappy.

So, you're looking at your ex's social media to make sure he's not doing well; and with someone that you think is worse looking or sounding than you.

...

You're an awesome person; he should've stuck with you. /sarcasmoff

5 years ago 12/02/2019 1:07pm EST

re: There's A Light

There's A Light wrote:
I'll try to be brief. I'm 34 years old. I was married for about 4 years to my ex-wife who cheated on me with a guy she met while doing business travel. He was some rich finance guy - and I once I found out - they became an item. I tried to get her back (typical wrong move for a spineless nice-guy) and as a response she verbally wrecked me and told me that she was happy with her new guy.
It sucked and I spiraled into a terrible depression. We had no kids.
They ended up getting married about a year or two later.
I distanced myself and got remarried a year ago and my wife and I have a daughter now. Things are good!
Lately, I've noticed some weird stuff with my ex-wife. Visiting my LinkedIn profile every other month. Commenting on things I commented on via mutual friends posts on Facebook. An old co-worker of mine saw her last week and she asked what I've been up to (which is BS because she can easily just google my name basically know everything).
So my question is, why does my wife give a crap what I'm up to after she wrecked our marriage and left me for another guy? Why now after 5 years? I've moved on and gotten over everything, so why can't she?
Has this happened to anyone else?

Either it's out of guilt/remorse and can't be adult enough to ask forgive or out of bitterness (she thinks you drove her to cheat and can't forgive you/herself) and wants to be watching for your next hardship/failure.

5 years ago 12/02/2019 1:16pm EST

re: There's A Light

There's A Light wrote:
Lately, I've noticed some weird stuff with my ex-wife. Visiting my LinkedIn profile every other month. Commenting on things I commented on via mutual friends posts on Facebook. An old co-worker of mine saw her last week and she asked what I've been up to (which is BS because she can easily just google my name basically know everything).
So my question is, why does my wife give a crap what I'm up to after she wrecked our marriage and left me for another guy? Why now after 5 years? I've moved on and gotten over everything, so why can't she?
Has this happened to anyone else?

You're not truly past it if you're noticing these things and posting about them here. You wouldn't care at all why she's doing it if you were actually beyond it. It's understandable that you still hang onto some bitterness over how you were treated by someone you trusted, but work on accepting that you were wrong to trust her. Maybe get some professional help for that, for the sake of your new relationship.

5 years ago 12/02/2019 1:29pm EST

re: This is why ..

The best thing you can do is to stay far away from her, and completely ignore here.

"completely ignore here" -- That is the best advice. Why did you come to LRC for advice in the first place?

5 years ago 12/02/2019 3:57pm EST

re: There's A Light

You were her first love. You might have given her , the only multiple O she ever had, and maybe ever!

Sounds like her new hubby is sloppy seconds

5 years ago 12/06/2019 1:50pm EST

re: There's A Light

That would be one reason for her to keep tabs. She needs to know how much you can pay

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Remarried Ex-Wife still keeps tabs on me....why?

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