Univ. Toledo XC captains speak out to newspaper

"Former toxic teammate" wrote:

UTXC4lyfe wrote:

So the team then sides with him because he won't leave anyone on the team alone.

Right, because as everyone knows, the best way to win people over is to pester them until they are so "pissed off" that they can't resist doing whatever you want! This is why people usually respond to "stalkers" by "dating" them instead of contacting the cops....react to relentless Facebook spammers by passing on the message rather than "blocking" them....and allow their political and religious positions to be changed by derogatory input from the "other side."

I take it you didn't :"major" in "psychology" during your time at the "University of Toledo"!

Keep digging.

Not to quibble, but someone needs to explain to me how on earth the University of Toledo retains its accreditation status. Who is the chair of the English department, if there is one? Kenny from "South Park"? Boomhauer from "King of the Hill"?

Fart Face wrote:

These are adult women with the wherewithal to attend a university fulltime (or some semblance of one) while playing a varsity sport. They are not kindergardeners.

Generally speaking, the two aren't as far apart in terms of emotional maturity as you seem to imply.

I am a guy, and I was sexually harrassed by the main professor in my major at my university during the 1980's.

I know nothing first-hand from U. of Toledo, so I'm only commenting on my own experience.

I come from the days before Anita Hill. Plus, being a guy and being an adult--I got the benefit of the doubt from NO ONE once all the issues came out into the open and were made public. I'm was a straight guy dealing with a preditory gay man.

He also harrassed this woman in our program. She was tall and blonde and beautiful and smart, and he couldn't stand her. He took every opportunity to dress her down in class. He made her cry in class once too when he told everyone she would never make it in our profession even if she graduated (she ended up transferring).

My first two years at school I was the star of the program. My professor proclaimed himself to be my mentor, had me present papers at conferences, told everyone I was the most talented student he'd ever had, etc, etc. Long story short, he tried a few things in the hotel rooms at conferences, invited me over to his house (and I went) on a Saturday to go over my research project a few days early and tried to drug me.

Once I realized what was going on, I tried to get him to stop. He accused me of "teasing him." I had no idea.

Yes, I felt stupid. I tried to transfer, even though I was about to enter my senior year, but my professor got wind of it and called professors at those schools and told them not to accept me (plus it looked very fishy to see someone who's essentially a senior trying to transfer. Even years later, he would find out about jobs I was applying for and tell my prospective employers I was mentally unstable and shouldn't be trusted.

He died this past year, and I found out he had done this same thing to others. There were several others after me. I felt so relieved once he was dead.

Once I began to complain about the harrassing, unfair treatment, the university did nothing. They brought all of the students in, one by one, to talk to them, and the students unanimously sgned affidavits certifying my accusations were true. But then they never did anything to the professor and he taught for 25 more years after I graduated.

I lost all my friends. I was ostracized and no one would associate with me. I think sudents were afraid some of my misery would come to them if they were seen with me. They didn't want to deal with it. The dean of students and of my college accused me of bringing this upon myself, as did the vice president of the university.

It was a lonely, lonely time. I read on here that a lot of this is the victim's fault, that she's an adult, yadda yadda yadda. It is what happens to rape victims: they asked for it.

Whatever the truth is, you don't know how it really was unless you walk in the victim's shoes. Only she knows what really happened. The rest of the team got appearances, they got what was on the surface, and they make their judgements from that. They don't get the whole story, even though they THINK they they know everything. Only she knows.

I was mature, bt I can guarantee you I felt stupid, probably because I was so naive and never thought very much that there would be a guy who would want to have sex with me.

M professor smoked marijuana pretty much every day. He drank heavily even if not daily, and sometimes even came to 8 am classes smelling like a bar. He had major problems. Went to jail twice for DWI (I got his driving record). He never got fired, but I certainly got my reputation, personal and professional, slandered by him. Plus I got to be miserable while I was in college, which is supposed to be the happiest time of one's life.

This coach at Toledo is gone. He admitted to some of the things he did. It is virtually impossible to sue someone for sexual harrassment. It is about way more than telling dirty jokes and putting up lewd pictures in the workplace. Try proving someone tried to drug you. Try proving someone touched you through your clothes in their office. Try to prove that they closed the door to their office, cussed you out, called you names, and promised you that over their dead body you would ever graduate.

I won 2 grade grievances during my time there, and the university still never did anything to this professor. He was doing these things, but administrators start scurrying around worried about their jobs, the reputation of the university, and other image things. They let you twist in the wind even though you paid tuition to get treated like this.

So the coach is gone, but right or wrong, the female student involved will live with the stigma of this wherever she goes. Whether she is innocent is not something people care about. The coach is in a position of power and influence. Students have virtually no power, and often a student's rights turn into mere privilages when the university is in the wrong, worried about bad publicity, and the student has to go up against a wall of well-heeled university lawyers. The student loses every time.

Look up U. of Colorado place kicker Kati Gnida (first female football player). She got treated the same way.

WE DONT NEED EMMA