Go with the cute, stable girl or the hottie?

And hopefully none of us thought the frumped up Mandy Moore was your cute girl.

I went with the stable cutie 15 years ago today and am still married to her.

young and unwise wrote:

I am 23 years old, recently graduated college. Have a well-paying job that I enjoy. Life is pretty good right now. I have recently begun dating two girls (not exclusive with either one yet), but I might need to make that decision soon.

Girl A: cute face, decent body, low-maintenance, wealthy family, great personality

Girl B: very hot, more high-maintenance, good personality, smart, comes from broken family but is very level-headed and has high aspiration for herself

So, looking for some advice from the older crowd, who would you go with and why? I like both girls...and am looking for a more solid relationship at this point in my life...but am not sure which girl to pursue further....any thoughts??

Dude, listen up and listen up good, hottie or not, you NEVER want to be with a high-maintenance woman...EVER. A hottie CAN be low-maintenance by the way, and an ugly woman can be high-maintenance. Do NOT get serious with a high-maintenance woman. She will spend all your money and cheat on you, all the while only caring about herself. Don't do it. Now, for me, I need a woman who is also smart, so while on the whole it appears I might take Girl A, if she's dumb as a brick (you said that only Girl B was smart), that's a deal breaker for me.

Here's the test you really should consider...

Which woman would you like to take a 3-month-long trip with? You'll need to organize your travel plans, decide where to go and where to stay, and what to do while you're there. Which one would that be more fun with (and don't consider sex as most of your life with a spouse is spent on things outside the bedroom)?

Other things...if you want to have kids some day, which woman would be the best mother, and which would be the best one to be a co-parent with?

Never do the high-maintenance for a serious long-term thing.

thursday morning intervals wrote:

Ask each one separately to accompany you on a long run, riding a bike and handing you liquids as needed. The one who agrees to do it and doesn't whine is the winner.

Not sure if you meant this as a joke, but this was the exact moment I knew that I wanted to marry my wife.

We had been dating for about 6 years (we were 26), and at mile 20 of a long run, it hit me. She had been riding next o me on a beach cruiser, passing me water and chatting with me. It was one of those moments when you just know it is right.

We have been married for 18 years.

...and to the other guy who tried to hijack the OP's thread: Why do you have to let your atheism ruin your relationship. I am not sure why you would have to disrespect her family's beliefs. Just shut your mouth and respect them for how they feel and they will likely do the same.

FWIW, and I know this is hard for many to understand, the Catholics are probably the most likely religion to accept an atheist. Not sure why Catholics carry the cross for the radical religious right, which should go to Southern Baptists, LDS and other more radical denominations. Catholics are pretty accepting people, at least in my experience with them.

CIM Vet wrote:

When you're 50 and married and looking back at your exploits, you never look back fondly at all the stable chicks you dated.

Date the hotties while you can.

ditto- he is exactly right.

no Brainer: option A

pretty face and personality are what counts. even the slamminest body fades with time and gravity.

I'm back! Miss me?

Go with the hottie if you aren't interested in marriage now. Yes, she might spend your money for you. She will eventually become the lesson in life.....and reinforce that when you do want to be married, go with the girl that has the best heart. You never, ever, want to feel like you are looking over your shoulder to see if she is even thinking about another guy. Plain Jane will also be your true best friend.

My shot putting love woman is mine and she looks just as you would suspect (more hair than me!). Da! OK, back to running and vodka.

The one you love

ukathleticscoach wrote:

The one you love

Except at age 23 he has NO idea of who/what that is. The right answers are all in this thread, you know what they are. Most important, don't even THINK of settling/down getting married until you are 30. For me that includes moving in together - keep your own place, date NOBODY more than 2x weekly. It's the only way to find out what you really like or who you will really love. This is the right advice for almost everybody.

Be like me....bone everything that walks while you are single.

Charlie

Bone everything you can while you can. There is plenty of time to be faithful and miserable when you get older and your wife's body goes to shit.

I think your fixation on a girl who works in a stable is unwise. All that shovelling horse shit is bound to make her to tired for hot sex.that will be $500 please.

young and unwise wrote:

I am 23 years old, recently graduated college. Have a well-paying job that I enjoy. Life is pretty good right now. I have recently begun dating two girls (not exclusive with either one yet), but I might need to make that decision soon.

Girl A: cute face, decent body, low-maintenance, wealthy family, great personality

Girl B: very hot, more high-maintenance, good personality, smart, comes from broken family but is very level-headed and has high aspiration for herself

So, looking for some advice from the older crowd, who would you go with and why? I like both girls...and am looking for a more solid relationship at this point in my life...but am not sure which girl to pursue further....any thoughts??

Helper man wrote:

...and to the other guy who tried to hijack the OP's thread: Why do you have to let your atheism ruin your relationship. I am not sure why you would have to disrespect her family's beliefs. Just shut your mouth and respect them for how they feel and they will likely do the same.

FWIW, and I know this is hard for many to understand, the Catholics are probably the most likely religion to accept an atheist. Not sure why Catholics carry the cross for the radical religious right, which should go to Southern Baptists, LDS and other more radical denominations. Catholics are pretty accepting people, at least in my experience with them.

This is why I'm worried, assholes like you who make quick judgments without knowing anything about me. I have no problem with them or their religion. I'm afraid THEY would have a problem with my lack of religion. Now what would give me an idea like that? "Just shut your mouth..." oh yeah, maybe because I've heard stuff like that about 10,000 times and am verbally attacked by idiots like you pretty much any time someone asks me about my religious beliefs and I say I'm atheist. Are you familiar with the word hypocrisy?

Yeah, her and I get along fine. We both are very tolerant and not easily offended. Obviously not everyone is like that though.

LOL. Too bad the "Cutie" girl is a picture of actress Mandy Moore.

John... is this you ---> "young and unwise"?

If so, our date is OFF tomorrow night!

F*** you.

the hijacker wrote:

This is why I'm worried, assholes like you who make quick judgments without knowing anything about me. I have no problem with them or their religion. I'm afraid THEY would have a problem with my lack of religion. Now what would give me an idea like that? "Just shut your mouth..." oh yeah, maybe because I've heard stuff like that about 10,000 times and am verbally attacked by idiots like you pretty much any time someone asks me about my religious beliefs and I say I'm atheist. Are you familiar with the word hypocrisy?

Yeah, her and I get along fine. We both are very tolerant and not easily offended. Obviously not everyone is like that though.

How did I verbally attack you? All I said was don't judge them and they will likely not judge you. Upon reading my post, I see that the "Shut your mouth" comment seems harsh, but I meant it in a normal tone. I wasn't attacking you. If you get along with the girl, and you are both tolerant, I see no problems. How am I an idiot? You are flying off the handle.

Squid wrote:

ukathleticscoach wrote:

The one you love

Except at age 23 he has NO idea of who/what that is. The right answers are all in this thread, you know what they are. Most important, don't even THINK of settling/down getting married until you are 30. For me that includes moving in together - keep your own place, date NOBODY more than 2x weekly. It's the only way to find out what you really like or who you will really love. This is the right advice for almost everybody.

I have to say, one thing I have been very surprised about is the differences in opinion among posters....it almost seems like a complete 50/50 split of go for the cute, stable vs. the hottie. I thought posters would be split one way moreso.

Yeah, I definitely don't see marriage in the near future for me. I wanna enjoy my single life for at least a few more years...so getting married before age 30 is NOT in the cards for me.

And Sexy Lexi - No, my name is not John...sorry...you can only wish I was your date haha

If you wanna be happy

For the rest of your life,

Never make a pretty woman your wife,

So from my personal point of view,

Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small

And very often causes his downfall.

As soon as he marries her

Then she starts to do

The things that will break his heart.

But if you make an ugly woman your wife,

You'll be happy for the rest of your life,

An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,

She'll always give you peace of mind.

Don't let your friends say

You have no taste,

Go ahead and marry anyway,

Though her face is ugly,

Her eyes don't match,

Take it from me she's a better catch.

Say man.

Hey baby.

Saw your wife the other day.

Yeah?

Yeah, she's ugly.

Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook.

Yeah?. Okay.

Let the old Wadster dissect your post:

You have a well-paying job...for a 23 year old. Great. Don't you have dreams? Dreams that you should probably accomplish on your own BEFORE you decide on a long-term monogamous relationship?

You RECENTLY began dating two girls...Dude, wake up. Keep dating the two girls. They love/hate competition - keep them on their toes - don't commit. Repeat after me:

I AM NOT READY FOR COMMITMENT...I AM 23 YEARS OLD

Cute, decent, personality - Argh. Seriously - do I need to comment on these buzz words to the rest of us?

Cute usually means fugly

Decent means she's "nice"

Great personality....come on.

Now, the wealthy part....would her parents make YOU sign a prenup? I know my kids, if they want any of their inheritance, have to sign prenups with their significant others.

By all means though - marrying for money makes sense sometimes, especially if she's "cute" and "decent".

These girls are awesome to date...but USUALLY end up as either single mothers or divorcees. This is the one YOU make sign the prenup. Probably could be a stripper, right? Yep, I know her.

If you have sex - please please please use a condom, do NOT trust that she's on the pill.

Again - date her - but don't drop either of them!

Solid relationships should be made with your family and existing friendships for now at your age. Keep pursuing ALL girls - because narrowing it down to two "finalists" this early in the game isn't in keeping with what you need right now....options....travel....fun....

In all seriousness - do NOT limit yourself at your young age. Do everything you can right now without the burden of a long-term girlfriend or family. YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T - or suffer through a mid-life crisis in your 40s or 50s.