girlfriend starting doing cocaine ADVICE

for gosh sakes she may not need saving yet.... she may have a problem, may notis she uses it recreationally and doesn't develop a problem BUT this guys still doesn't like it... fine get out, your choicebut to say you need to get out because she has a problem... you people do not know that based on the information he has givenhe didn't say, my girl is doing a gram a day and isn't showing up to work and blah blah blahnope, said she was honest and tried it a few times... at least know the situation before making a decision

Pablo Escobar wrote:

if used carefully, cocaine is a great recreational substance.

however, very, very few can use it safely.

it can result in some serious (and a wide range of) physical and emotional side effects.

unless you think you want to marry this young lady, or you see it as your duty to 'save' her, get out now.

Agree with FW on this one.

This is bad news. I disagree with people saying it's not dangerous. It's playing with fire and eventually she and/or you will get burnt. Get out now while it's easy. The fact that you are on letsrun posting is a good indication that you choose the healthy lifestyle of a runner and you likely have a low tolerance for this in your life.

-of course it is dangerous, so are lots of other things people do-yes somebody MIGHT get burnt, but that is not 100% - I guarantee you people have done coke a bit had some fun then left if for good - so don't say it like it WILL happen with certainty-your last sentence is just plain dumb

RunningPhreak wrote:

This is bad news. I disagree with people saying it's not dangerous. It's playing with fire and eventually she and/or you will get burnt. Get out now while it's easy. The fact that you are on letsrun posting is a good indication that you choose the healthy lifestyle of a runner and you likely have a low tolerance for this in your life.

Umm, why are you asking for advice? Read up on cocaine and make your decision. I don't know what your morals are like, dude. Do you drink a lot? Ever done adderall/speed? I mean, there are so many factors. A lot of people can do coke once or twice a week for a little while in college and they're fine. Some can't, and some people just don't approve of it to begin with. What matters is how YOU feel about it, now how you feel about it. And jesus, go to www.erowid.com or even wikipedia before you ask people here about coke. Unless she has some sort of latent heart problem, she'll probably be totally fine. Abuse of cocaine will f*** with your "happy neurons" just like abuse of ecstasy and speed will, but it probably takes more than one a week for a while for that to happen. If she does a couple of lines once or twice a week, I wouldn't worry about it, if she starts binging 3+ times per week, she's in a lot of trouble.

anEconomist,

You usually have some good things to say, but brother you are dead wrong here. I love the term "recreational" use that people like you like to throw around to try to minimize it. When the hell did someone ever NOT take cocaine recreationally? The whole POINT of drugs is recreation. Problem is that the recreation for MANY turns into addiction and then bad behavior follows.

Seeing how you're defending cocaine use so much, that tells me that you likely did it for a time and then were able to stop. Lucky you -- except that you likely snorted something that was in a condom that came out of some guy's anus, but whatever, it's just recreation right? FUN!

*sigh*

So many of you are responding with advice that sounds something like this, "You don't even know if she has a problem yet. She might be fine. If she starts doing it every day, missing work, sucking dick for coke, etc...then you'll know she has a problem. Until then just let her be."

The problem with that way of thinking about it is that if she does get to the point where it's really a problem and it has developed into a serious addiction, it could be too late. As I stated earlier, when someone develops a profound addiction, they are sometimes beyond the help of treatment programs by that point. I know several people who are so addicted that they want to get clean, but just can't. Which is why I say, confront the drug use BEFORE it becomes a serious problem. I'm not saying to condemn her and make her feel like shit about it. But confront her, nonetheless. Call her parents, non-using friends, etc.

actually that is one drug i never tried - my personal preference, mostly because I was, perhaps rightly, afraid of it, but yes anEconomist had his day with a few drugs and gave them upi do know that friends of mine did experiment and still went on to lead successful, happy lives where it never became an issueand could it be a problem - ABSOLUTELY - but I don't know that I would break up with a chick just because she was honest about having tried it... if it were a problem for her, sure I would leave asap. I just think people are a bit reactionary and pass judgement way too quickly.

Flagpole Willy wrote:

anEconomist,

You usually have some good things to say, but brother you are dead wrong here. I love the term "recreational" use that people like you like to throw around to try to minimize it. When the hell did someone ever NOT take cocaine recreationally? The whole POINT of drugs is recreation. Problem is that the recreation for MANY turns into addiction and then bad behavior follows.

Seeing how you're defending cocaine use so much, that tells me that you likely did it for a time and then were able to stop. Lucky you -- except that you likely snorted something that was in a condom that came out of some guy's anus, but whatever, it's just recreation right? FUN!

RunningPhreak wrote:

Agree with FW on this one.

People say this all the time. A lot of people don't get FW. I like his common sense approach to life and running. Sometimes I think it would be cool if he a short column on the front page to write about things he is thinking about.

anEconomist wrote:

for gosh sakes she may not need saving yet.... she may have a problem, may not

is she uses it recreationally and doesn't develop a problem BUT this guys still doesn't like it... fine get out, your choice

I don't think it's a good sign that she is "experimenting" with coke only when he's not around....

Tough Love! Do an intervention, give her a choice - you or the coke - and if she chooses you then give her support. If she chooses the coke, get out, get out fast and stay out! I have been foolish enough to have been in 2 relationships like this, years apart, and I reget both. If nothing else, "you can never tyrust an addict!"

The strangest thing about Coke is that everyone who uses it thinks that it is normal.

That is what got me into it, I just figured it was normal - kind of like when you think alcohol is horrible in 8th grade but realize everyone drinks when you are 16.

Plus, I saw a lot of people I respected using it.

Here is the problem, you begin to realize that these people are pretty sad. A lot of guys who cheat on their spouses, live pretty unethical lives, etc. On the surface, they are great members of society. High paying jobs, church on Sundays, etc.

I am not saying all drugs are bad. I smoke weed from time to time, among other things, but Coke is not good. It is not worth it. Not to mention that when you get burnt, it is pretty bad.

Take it from a guy that used for fun on the weekends, it can still eff you up. I just woke up one day realizing that I was hanging out with losers in the back room of a chain pizza restaurant. It is not as glamorous as it appears. When I started it was all babes and money.

I don't really know where I am going with this, but just realize that people who claim that everyone does coke and that it is just good fun are kidding themselves.

People using coke, heroin, meth, etc are screwed up. And coke deserves to be listed with those other drugs.

Would you want your mom or dad using coke? How about the mother of your children?

That is all you need to think about, really.

Sounds like your girl is a follower, she has been led to believe it is cool to use coke. It isn't cool, it is miserable. Don't turn her in or call her parents, that is stupid. Just tell her you don't really like that scene and let her know you are going to take a break from her. Don't be a dick about it, that will only drive her away.

anEconomist wrote:

actually that is one drug i never tried - my personal preference, mostly because I was, perhaps rightly, afraid of it, but yes anEconomist had his day with a few drugs and gave them up

i do know that friends of mine did experiment and still went on to lead successful, happy lives where it never became an issue

and could it be a problem - ABSOLUTELY - but I don't know that I would break up with a chick just because she was honest about having tried it... if it were a problem for her, sure I would leave asap. I just think people are a bit reactionary and pass judgement way too quickly.

anEconomist,

Often a drug user will admit drug use to a significant other not because they want to be honest, but because they want to see if their significant other is an enabler. That's what this guy's girlfriend is doing. She is hopeful that he won't care about it, and if so that frees her up to continue, knowing that he will be her enabler down the road. He should dump her like yesterday's news.

Trust me on this one,

If she will do coke, she will do your brother.

anEconomist wrote:

actually that is one drug i never tried - my personal preference, mostly because I was, perhaps rightly, afraid of it, but yes anEconomist had his day with a few drugs and gave them up

So you used what...?

Weed, LSD, Mushrooms?

Of course you didn't become addicted... Those are not addictive.

Coke is different. We all have friends who have used it and are fine. Although I wouldn't consider it "fine" for me. I never sucked anyone for it or anything like that, but I often feel guilty late at night when I think about the crap I condoned and remained indifferent about.

It is a bad drug, and if you get into it - even just for weekend fun - you begin to see the bad side of it.

Besides, any woman who does coke is a hussy. Who would want to date or marry a coke girl? You want to have kids with a woman who used coke?

I am assuming this guy is serious with this woman, and not just having fun with her for the time being.

for the record flagpole i do kind of agree with you that it is not a good sign that she told him - i'm kind of torn on this, either I respect her that she really wanted to be honest with him, or she already is a bit in trouble and might want some help, I imagine the bf would have a feeling better than any of usif she wanted to try it - the appropriate thing to do would have been to discuss it beforehandyes, you do have me there, never really tried the addicting stuff - i just don't make sweeping generalizations that say everyone who has done it has to even end up like you were in the back of pizza shops doing it, but whateverand i find what you say interestingIt is a bad drug, and if you get into it - even just for weekend fun - you begin to see the bad side of it. that was kind of my take on every drug, yeah they have their moments of fun but there is always a bad side and that is why many don't do them more than a few times

my advice would be to give me her cell # at once.

Look, I understand what you and the other "permissive" people on this thread are saying. Just to be clear, if I was in charge, I'd legalize everything. We are not going to win the war on drugs, so we might as well eliminate the black market.

You can't deny that drugs like coke and meth have wrought terrible damage on people and in some notable cases killed people the first time or addicted them right away. Clearly, coke, heroin, meth, and X are in a different class than wee, shrooms, and alcohol. Could they all be devastating? Yes. But in my experience, people who screwed around with coke and such ended up a lot different than people who smoked a bit of ganja in hs or college.

The thing that sets off alarm bells with this girl is that she has never done it before and suddenly does it 3-4 times in the space of a week. Statistically speaking, that's cause for alarm. I'm sure there are many people who will say, oh yeah, I did it 19 times the first week and I have it under control, blah, blah!!!

My objection is the illegality and the potential consequences. Maybe I've been watching cops too much, but here's a scenario. An enterprising dealer give a few extra baggies to some suburban spoiled twat in the hope that she shares it with her friends & increases business. The cops stop her dumbass boyfriend's car find the baggies and decide that its possession with intent. The pretty little cheerleader tells the cops that she doesn't know what is in those awful little baggies and she's never heard of cocaine. The cops take the poor little darling home to mommy and daddy and the dickhead driving the car gets a felony conviction because he was in a drug free school zone - no breaks from the local DA bc he's tough on drugs.

Sound farfetched? It happened to a kid I know and he spent actual time in PMITA jail, lost his license, and his job. When he applied to college, he had to check a box that says he has a felony conviction. It's just not worth it - why would you want to be around drugs like that?

How's the sex? Just curious. She probably let you do anything to her now? Wear protection though because she is probably letting everyone else do anything to her right now too.

Fan of the Flag(pole) wrote:

Trust me on this one,

If she will do coke, she will do your brother.

True.