Quite the opposite experience. The no kid people only talk about all the challenges of having kids as the reason the made the right choice. They seem to struggle on specifics of what they have gained.
Maybe they’re telling you exactly what they gained (ex. not having to deal with the challenges of raising kids) but you’re just not listening?
Yea I get it challenges are tough. My child wants to keep wearing his diaper and have someone change him. Yet I’m teaching him how to grow up and poop in a potty. I can see how you enjoy essentially pooping in a diaper the rest of your life and calling it freedom.
Not a penny of mine should go to support your 16 year old #6 kid in a state run half way house because you've been married 3 times and to busy with kid #7 (13 year old) and kid #8 (4 year old).
Not a penny of mine should go to support your 16 year old #6 kid in a state run half way house because you've been married 3 times and to busy with kid #7 (13 year old) and kid #8 (4 year old).
Is this a two-way street? Not a penny of my kids' future income taxes should go to Medicare, social security, unfunded pension liabilities or any other entitlement?
Childless couples already do pay high taxes because they aren’t eligible for child tax credits. Of course—child tax credits should be increased given the value children (and their parents) add to the nation.
Parents should also get an extra vote for every minor in their house. It’s simple: parents have a greater stake in the present and future state of our nation.
They save a hell of a lot of money and if they invest it well they retire early and do whatever they want.
It’s a personal decision.
And then they spend all their holidays after age 50 by themselves and die alone. Or they start swinging with other couples since they’re bored and don’t have anything else to do. One of them catches the feels for the other person and they get divorced
I have 8 aunt/uncles who are all still alive, all in their 50-60s and have been married for at least 20 years. 7 couples had 3 or more kids who are all adults now. 1 couple never had kids and it was a choice not due to infertility.
Guess which couple is the only couple that is not overweight/obese, is the least stressed, has the most energy, always has a positive attitude and is the most financially stable? The couple with no kids.
They both recently retired a decade before any of my other uncles/aunts (most of them are still working in their mid/late 60s). They travel often, volunteer often, and host meals/gatherings frequently at their home for friends/co-workers.
If you want kids that's great, but the whole idea that childless couples are some weird anomaly with no valid basis behind their decision is complete ignorance.
My wife and I aren't having kids. I have close to a dozen active hobbies that I don't even have enough free time to put into them as I want, even without kids. Plus being able to spend more quality time with the person I liked enough to marry is pretty nice.
We get it. You are selfish.
TLDR version of his post - he's self-absorbed.
A few things to consider.
1) If "being able to spend more quality time with the person I liked enough to marry is pretty nice" wouldn't being able to spend time with a creature you CREATED be even better?
2) You do realize that you are now in the process of failing to do what every single one of your ancestors was able to do even without technology - procreate. You are defying biology.
3) What will your legacy be? None.
4) When you are old and you or your wife is dead, who will come see you at the nursing home?
Do they just act like 30 year old kids for the rest of their lives? How do they achieve deep fulfillment? Do they usually regret it?
It’s the equivalent of doing intervals 2 x week with a long run but never racing. In summation they are missing the point and might as well go out in a blaze of glory at age 29
For years I did intervals twice a week with a long run but never raced and it was great.
Then we had a kid and for years I still did intervals twice a week with a long run but never raced and it was just ok. The intervals and long run were both shorter and slower.
After my kid grew up I wanted to do intervals twice a week with a long run, maybe racing, but I was too old, tired and worn out to try.
Do they just act like 30 year old kids for the rest of their lives? How do they achieve deep fulfillment? Do they usually regret it?
Life becomes a succession of events rather than a story. Years come and go. Potential protagonists turn out to be extras. In such a life, there can be no rising action, climax, and denouement.
Man must be willing to commit to love and open himself to new life. More specifically, he must cleave to a woman and be ready to have a child. The refusal to have children divides man from nature and from others. Contraceptive barriers choke off life, close hearts to love.
Loving your child is greater than anything you have ever done. You naturally love your child so much you would rather be hurt yourself than see them be seriously hurt.
Then they become teenagers. Gets kinda rough then, but it will pass.
Maybe they’re telling you exactly what they gained (ex. not having to deal with the challenges of raising kids) but you’re just not listening?
Yea I get it challenges are tough. My child wants to keep wearing his diaper and have someone change him. Yet I’m teaching him how to grow up and poop in a potty. I can see how you enjoy essentially pooping in a diaper the rest of your life and calling it freedom.
Curious to know your thought process here. Did you really think a child-free couple would read this and think, “damn he makes a great point, we should probably have kids”?
There’s a class of “childfree” people on the internet who are so desperate for you understand their impregnable arguments that it’s clear they are wrestling with a deep cognitive dissonance. How to resolve it, I don’t know.
To each their own. It is a new reality we live in where people are choosing self immortality over fertility. It’s probably better that people do so without children than with children. For me, parenting has been one of the great experiences of my life and I do not regret it in the least. I enjoyed my 29 years as a single man. I enjoyed the 5 years married with no kids. I have enjoyed the years I have spent raising my kids who are turning into fine young adults. For me, life has been about phases: first thirty years were mine, middle twenty years belong to the family and the final thirty years are for my wife and I. Overall I believe if you view kids as a blessing and treat them as such, they will be a blessing. If you view kids as a burden and try to focus on selfish ambitions (money, partying, etc.), your kids will become a burden. Better that those who are unwilling to look beyond their own concerns not have kids.
What a sad depressing philosophy of life. This kind of stuff you can’t make up. That’s your view of life? O m g
I didn't find this sad or depressing. I found it very logical and reasonable. Hmmm.
I have 8 aunt/uncles who are all still alive, all in their 50-60s and have been married for at least 20 years. 7 couples had 3 or more kids who are all adults now. 1 couple never had kids and it was a choice not due to infertility.
Guess which couple is the only couple that is not overweight/obese, is the least stressed, has the most energy, always has a positive attitude and is the most financially stable? The couple with no kids.
They both recently retired a decade before any of my other uncles/aunts (most of them are still working in their mid/late 60s). They travel often, volunteer often, and host meals/gatherings frequently at their home for friends/co-workers.
If you want kids that's great, but the whole idea that childless couples are some weird anomaly with no valid basis behind their decision is complete ignorance.
My wife and I aren't having kids. I have close to a dozen active hobbies that I don't even have enough free time to put into them as I want, even without kids. Plus being able to spend more quality time with the person I liked enough to marry is pretty nice.
My wife and I don't have kids--it is nice to be able to run/Irish Dance and enjoy life. I'm almost 41 and she is 33. I don't want to have kids this late either, by the time they are in HS I'd be in my mid-60s. I think with this inflated economy it's harder.
There is an expectation, even unsaid, that you get married, have great careers, buy a house and have kids. It is sometimes hard going against societal norms.
Wait 18-25 years till their parent friends free up some time on their social calendar.
Being Catholic I've lost a lot of friends simply due to marriage and having kids--in Columbus we used to have a strong Catholic singles group, then everyone got married and faded away. I don't even see them on socials anymore.
My friends who are married w/o kids or are in domestic partnerships are happy--they race cars at Mid-Ohio every weekend and don't have to worry about $. (The husband is a doc at OSU and the wife works at Kent State via WFH as a grad student mentorship coach).