Why do women in the dating world have such high standards?

Thats not true, men compromise much more statistically. Its in the data.

Women who have high demands are just trying to compensate for their own weaknesses.

They should have high standards. Their standards should be even higher.

Ladies, don’t make it easy on these guys. As tough as it was to impress you wonderful girls and I only impressed one girl in my life, the one that counted… the one for me….. ( lost her to brain cancer 1/15/14)

I sure got rejected a zillion times, but you weren’t tough enough.

Make sure you get the one you want and he’s gonna treat you, the way you wanna be treated and don’t compromise!

Put em through the crucible.

item 1. under the current growing regime of anti-abortion laws, women have every reason to be picky about who they date/marry/go to bed with. you may get stuck with a kid without any way out. and you may by extension get stuck for at least 18 years with the guy who kick started that process. even if there is no continued intimate relationship, dad may want custody or at least to see his kid. and beyond that, someone might ideally want daddy to stick around.

or is the idea lifetime indentured servitude to you because they banged you once. or were even in your proximity.

item 2. when you as a male are looking for either a hookup or a relationship, do you seek out women you find no fun to be around? boring? incompatible interests? unattractive? unshapely? overweight? particularly in a life partner where you may have kids, communal property, heavy entanglements, and you're picking this person to be who you see every day, have sex with.

then why on earth is them asking the same unfair? they too want beauty, romance, fun.

item 3, if you have a brain, yes, hopefully you aren't stuck on bs societal ideals holding out for some cardboard cutout plastic surgery playboy playmate, and hopefully she isn't that silly too. there are excesses.

but you are finding someone you find hot, fun to be around, and who adores you back. you want someone who when you both put on 10 pounds and grow old and grey, still loves you. that is not your average date or classmate. they have the world to pick from, so do you.

that being said, if i could talk to young me, i'd spend more time on the girls stepping right up to me and less time pining for the girl on the XC team who i had eyes for but didn't care much. life is more fun engaging with who responds you , with what the world sends you, as opposed to abstractly wishing for things. to be fair, try to meet people you find hot. but if they don't respond back, that's not real. that's no more real than the playboy playmate. you're looking for the hot girl who actually knows and loves you exist.

which is different from incel crap where they owe you something.

you are probably going to the wrong places -- meat markets -- and going about it wrong -- if you are only in situations where people are looking for overnight hookups with the hottest person on the floor. and a lot of that is an extension of adolescent sex attitudes where it's about banging the most conventionally attractive person there, as opposed to can you stand them in the morning or a week or 10 years later.

you don't go to meat markets looking for a life partner.

you want that, friend groups, work, church, common interest groups. get to know them slow in natural contexts, ask them out after you already think you like them, and look for fun and values as much as looks and curves in all the right places.

if you are finding apps and social media don't work, go analog. sorry, no, it may feel like it, but it's not true that everything is apps or dance clubs and bars. that's how 20 year olds think. and to be clear, they are probably mostly not thinking relationship when they do it. so if you want one you're already fishing wrong place.

I can't get over the numbers thing. It's too funny.

The idea is that everyone who is a 6 is supposed to be willing to go out with or sleep with anyone who is a 7 or higher? It's so obviously, hilariously not how things work that I can't believe people use this idea. And the OP is mad that women don't play along with the rules of his made up game. Dating is about individuals and their preferences.

I guess the appeal of numbers is that guys think there is some group of "lower rated" women that they are entitled to by some natural right. Pretty sad.

A lot of unintelligent men bring out the "end up unmarried" thing as if it's some terrible fate. Almost as if we were still in the 17th century when it possibly boy did mean penury and an early death.

Nowadays, a lot of effort men are realising that getting married and or having kids is actually quite risky to their physical and mental health, and also, if they are a high earner themselves, their wealth (obviously the men who think women are desperately chasing their 80k pa don't mix in the social circles where they meet women doctors, lawyers, those with inherited wealth, etc)

You're living in the past. "Ending up unmarried" is a good deal for many women. I'm married, and I can say that confidently. I've always earned slightly more than my husband and many of his friends, but I can see how marrying a wealthier man would have made my life easier. At the end of the day, all you men are offering is how nice you are, if you aren't competing in money. So it's really important that you can be pleasant on a day to day basis, and not make us run around after you too much, if we are contributing half or more of the family finances.

Getting married is actually quite easy for women, but if you marry the wrong person, it's way worse than being unmarried.

I don't think that dating somebody you find physically repulsive is a great idea. Also, a lot of guys mess women around, cancel dates, ghost them, try to do on and off, date multiple women and so on, and then complain when the woman marries somebody else.

And guess what? Ugly, poor men do those things just as often as rich, good looking guys. If anything, they are more likely to cheat when they get the opportunity, because they require more self affirmation and have less to lose.

There are certain phrases that stupid, badly behaved men use to identify themselves. "Ending up unmarried" is definitely one of them. So is the "cat lady" thing. Nobody with choices wants to marry a man who deals in cliches and Tinder. Meet partners through friends, hobbies or college, not dating sites, if you do not want to come across as a clichéd loser who hates women.

lol uhh 4 is very low. Sounds like you are bitter because 8's won't date you, and so you claim they are entitled 4's to make yourself feel better that you weren't interested in them anyway, while this whining post makes it clear that you are lol. I doubt you are trying to date actual 4's so you are clearly talking about actual 8's, and just bitter. Your personality as coming through this post is probably the reason 8's won't date you. Get a better attitude.

I see other people on the thread talking about dating apps. Yeah dating apps are absolutely horrendous. Great for meeting people, but they've taught everyone that you can just keep swiping and going on dates with new people so they have destroyed actual relationship culture. I've never found dating apps to lead to relationships, pretty much only ever 1-2 week flings and then they continue sampling the never ending menu that is dating app choices. Though I've never experienced women thinking they are the greatest thing since sliced bread, just very flakey cuz of dating app culture (which I've also heard women say the same thing about men so it's just the downsides of dating app culture), so that is likely you pretending that's what they think because they aren't interested in you.

But I have had multiple women who have gone out with me from dating apps (who I am surprised were even interested in me because they are much better looking than me and they are no doubt getting tons of responses from much better looking guys) tell me I stood out because most guys on dating apps are awful and I'm actually a normal nice guy. OP, from your "think they are 8s but are really 4s" bitterness I'm guessing you're one of the many guys women avoid because of your clearly toxic attitude. Be a better guy and those 8's will actually be interested in you.

She’s so lucky to have you as a “friend”.

some fair points

but on the other hand I'm 60 and I am seeing the problem of not being married or having children.

being alone and old is a terrible, awful thing for most people. Loneliness kills. Having no one to help you kills. Having no one to serve or be served by kills. Having no children to take care of you kills.

So yeah for most people (sure, not all), 'ending up unmarried' is a very bad thing.

80% of women are not attractive to the "men" on this forum. To hear these losers talk there are nothing but fatties out there. I'm not saying women are not at all responsible for the situation, but when I read that young men felt safer under Trump I can see why they can't get laid.

All you do is just WRAP UP

Don't futz around with loose people. I've been in many a tryst and have never contracted anything or caused a pregnancy, but I've had women try to ditch using protection many times, in fact, half of the time.

women should care more about using protection properly. It's well established to work at a high success rate in a laboratory setting, the only reason it doesn't work in practice is because people 1. Take breaks (results in leakage, sliding off, and inversion), 2. Misuse the implement, 3. Are wasted while they're using it, 4. Breakage / micro breakage due to oil based lubricants, and 5. outright forgetting to use it or removing it prematurely

Yeah, and I don't think only being her "friend "was his choice

Translation: OP is a loser with the ladies.

Too general.

Of course not, I asked her out & was rejected. But since we weight train at the same gym & she just lives down the street from me, she offered to be friends. So, I figured what the heck since I'm middle-aged & widowed (2 kids). She was just coming out of her 2nd divorce & wanted to casual date for awhile. She was honest with me - I wasn't good looking enough, tall enough or rich enough for her (no surprises there). So, now I'm one of her beta-orbitors. 😆

She nailed more than IT. She nailed lots of them.