My kids are losing some of the best years of their lives to screens, and there is nothing I can do

Inciteful Wisdom wrote:

My kids live most of their lives through screens. I’m afraid I have lost the battle. My oldest son is actually a very good athlete, much better than I ever was. But he has ended most of his sport participation, and it’s all we can do to get him to train a couple of times a week. He is on the computer for many hours per day. Mostly it’s games. He’ll be out of the house in a couple of years. Schoolwork is not a priority no matter how much we nag him. He has vague ideas of becoming an editor and a Youtuber.

I have tried to tell him that he is wasting some of the best years of his life. But it just doesn’t stick. This is what he wants to do, and that’s all there is to it really.

Probably I have not set the best example. I am on my phone too much.

I guess I’m not really asking for advice. I guess I’m just commiserating. It could be a lot worse, I know. I am sure there are some parents here who can identify with how difficult this is.

Precious Roy wrote:

My son is an avid gamer and can play video games for 8 hrs+ a day. My wife tries to set limits, but this just creates a lot of conflict.

The good news is that he prefers playing games with his friends online. And he likes playing gorilla tag and other occulus games where he is moving around so much he actually works up a sweat. When his friends are not online, he is not as interested in playing games, but will want to watch youtube videos instead.

I played a lot of video games and watched a lot of TV when I was a kid. But it was mostly just a time suck when there wasn't something else to do. I don't see screen time as being a threat as long as it is just something kids do instead of watching TV and do it with friends. But if they play by themselves and have no other interests, that is something that requires some intervention.

I think it is very important to make sure kids have activities and interests outside of video games. It is very difficult to get kids plugged into different activities and sports these days because everyone is pushing their kids to be hyperspecialized so they can try to get a college scholarship. My son plays club soccer and is ready to quit because all the kids on his team want to do is try and 1 v 1 on seven different kids on the opposing team and score a goal single handedly. But he also plays golf and is into rock climbing. Rock climbing is great because he can do it on a rainy day.

So, the answer to excessive screen time is to make sure your kids have other activities that they are interested in doing. It is hard because as soon as kids get into jr high there are fewer and fewer activities and sports that kids can do just to learn and have fun. But you just have to shove your kid out the door and get them to try as many things as they are willing to try. Hopefully, something will stick and get them off the screens. But the reality is that kids like playing video games and kids should get to have some fun. Cutting off screen time to force your kid to read Wuthering Heights or do math problems to get ahead on their test scores just isn't right.

Flagpole wrote:

Inciteful Wisdom wrote:

My kids live most of their lives through screens. I’m afraid I have lost the battle. My oldest son is actually a very good athlete, much better than I ever was. But he has ended most of his sport participation, and it’s all we can do to get him to train a couple of times a week. He is on the computer for many hours per day. Mostly it’s games. He’ll be out of the house in a couple of years. Schoolwork is not a priority no matter how much we nag him. He has vague ideas of becoming an editor and a Youtuber.

I have tried to tell him that he is wasting some of the best years of his life. But it just doesn’t stick. This is what he wants to do, and that’s all there is to it really.

Probably I have not set the best example. I am on my phone too much.

I guess I’m not really asking for advice. I guess I’m just commiserating. It could be a lot worse, I know. I am sure there are some parents here who can identify with how difficult this is.

You don't get to determine the course of life for your children. When I was a kid, rock and roll music was going to destroy us all. Meh.

Actually, you should support your kid becoming an editor (especially video editor with programs like Adobe Premiere Pro and Final Cut Pro) and a YouTuber. Successful ones make a TRUCKLOAD of money, and it's not just a handful of them either.

Let your kid find his own path. It's his life.