fwiw there are also the lesser known US coast guard and US merchant marine academies, which are D3. they have a service obligation but it's not military. small schools, fewer majors, not much less picky, similar grueling application process.
but anyhow my original point was figure out what it is you want so you're not just going in circles. you want it where when you make the decision there are more choices of the type and location you want and fewer choices there to make someone else happy. because the way this will work you will get denied some places you wanted, you will get in some places but mom and dad want it but you couldn't care less, you will get in some places but get lousy financial aid, and there will be a sweet spot of a few schools with good aid and what you want in a school and athletic recruitment perhaps. ideally that sweet spot is several schools. i felt like i had far too many admits i didn't really want to attend, done to make others happen, and too few of the type i wanted. i did go to the type i wanted, but it was a weird process. so i am saying sit down and think about what you want and how the process of choosing schools is working. to me when someone goes ED and then backs away from an admit they either wanted a choice and not just one school -- they weren't really ED material -- or their parents have taken over the process. you might even like duke but just feel disempowered. to me this is when you pause and say, what is it "i" want?