I brought up the tax thing because I know one guy whose wife was an accountant and a few years before the divorce said she'd handle the tax stuff for the family. She was secretly filing separately and arranging things in a way that she'd somehow make off with the loot. Not only did he lose everything but he also found out he owed $59K in taxes and penalties to the IRS because he hadn't been paying taxes for years.
I brought up the tax thing because I know one guy whose wife was an accountant and a few years before the divorce said she'd handle the tax stuff for the family. She was secretly filing separately and arranging things in a way that she'd somehow make off with the loot. Not only did he lose everything but he also found out he owed $59K in taxes and penalties to the IRS because he hadn't been paying taxes for years.
This sounds like the biggest bunch of crap, I can only imagine that the friend was fooling, you, dear jamin.
First off, that really happened, it would be the luckiest thing that could have happened to him. Why? Because it would have involved 'mail theft".
I say that because that kind of tax delinquency would have triggered warnings that would have been sent via "Certified mail" (see link below). And anyone, including a tax preparer or spouse that intercepts a Certified Notice from a Federal Agency like the IRS is committing a crime. If the spouse had committed such a crime, it would have been a simple matter to take them for all they were worth in divorce proceedings, if not through legal action.
If your friend lies to you like that, imagine living with him. Probably deserves to be divorced.
My friend just went through a divorce where the ex-husband initiated it. I don’t think the signs are much different if the roles are reversed. The main alarm bell was that he started working out like crazy.
What I have seen in general is it’s never sudden, and there are signs but maybe people are usually in denial when these signs first emerge.
To be honest, these days you could show me a couple and then say, they’ll never get divorced. Nothing surprises me anymore, and you never know what’s happening behind closed doors. It’s really just a matter of how much a couple will put up with each other.
I know many on this board like to cast women as leeches on men's money and time, but I'm being honest about what I've seen and heard from other families. Women initiate the majority of divorces, and this is often a big part of their reason for it.
I know its anecdotal, but in many more cases the man is bringing more money by far, with an imbalance in money management, the woman spending more than she is earning.
In my case our credit card bill used to often be more than my salary. She chose to 'work for herself' as a freelancer but sucked at actually selling her skills so she sort of had drips and drabs of income. It was unsustainable really, we'd get it down for a couple of months and then it blows out again.
Then of course, she becomes the unhappy one, tired of my whinging (wonder why) and goes off to live with a guy who worked with her (but was so well off he didn't have to) and 16 yrs older (76 yo now).
Anyway, I refinanced, paid her out and actually getting my mortgage down further, more saving, more overseas trips etc on one salary, and buying more things for myself (never used to spend on myself, it was family first)
So no, its not always the hard working mum. They think they cook and wash and that makes them hard workers. I did all renovations etc, maintenance, did more school pick ups and sport drop offs/pick ups and in fact more involved that way on average.
...and I dont have a woman now telling me how to spend my own money, where I'm going etc.
To be honest, most are wired to only have kids, they get older and move out and your usefulness is up. This is one of the main reasons marriages have 50% success, with most being 'unhappy' wives
Did you notice she started filing taxes separately and suspicious behavior like that?
Ya that would be pretty suspicious. In general, if the decisions she makes appear to be more about elevating herself than advance whatever you are about as a couple. If you got married to someone without really knowing what you are about as a couple then you are in trouble as you won't see it coming.
I brought up the tax thing because I know one guy whose wife was an accountant and a few years before the divorce said she'd handle the tax stuff for the family. She was secretly filing separately and arranging things in a way that she'd somehow make off with the loot. Not only did he lose everything but he also found out he owed $59K in taxes and penalties to the IRS because he hadn't been paying taxes for years.
I notice the divorce recovery meetup groups have plenty of meetings and active members, but the crypto and DeFi meetup groups have close to zero meetings in the last year. 24 months ago the DeFi shtcoin yield groups were pretty active
I brought up the tax thing because I know one guy whose wife was an accountant and a few years before the divorce said she'd handle the tax stuff for the family. She was secretly filing separately and arranging things in a way that she'd somehow make off with the loot. Not only did he lose everything but he also found out he owed $59K in taxes and penalties to the IRS because he hadn't been paying taxes for years.
This sounds like the biggest bunch of crap, I can only imagine that the friend was fooling, you, dear jamin.
First off, that really happened, it would be the luckiest thing that could have happened to him. Why? Because it would have involved 'mail theft".
I say that because that kind of tax delinquency would have triggered warnings that would have been sent via "Certified mail" (see link below). And anyone, including a tax preparer or spouse that intercepts a Certified Notice from a Federal Agency like the IRS is committing a crime. If the spouse had committed such a crime, it would have been a simple matter to take them for all they were worth in divorce proceedings, if not through legal action.
If your friend lies to you like that, imagine living with him. Probably deserves to be divorced.
Yeah, it's a made up story. The husband would still have to sign the return. Did he not notice that his wife's income and info was not included? Did he never even look at the returns to see how much was owed/being refunded? Anyone that naive deserves to be taken to the cleaners.
I always took care of managing the bills until wife 1.0 said she'd take a turn at it.
In the 6 months before she ran off with her married colleague from work: she didn't pay the mortgage and other bills; I was unaware she opened new credit cards in my name and charged over $7k (I later had to pay this off); she cleaned out our checking and savings.
I became aware we were short on cash and observed her new behavior "going to work" at odd hours. My initial thought was drugs, but when I confronted her and she denied it. The next day she took off with her new guy to a different state with the money she stock-piled. I eventually compared notes with the other guy's wife who also was caught by surprise as they had been trying to get pregnant.
This sounds like the biggest bunch of crap, I can only imagine that the friend was fooling, you, dear jamin.
First off, that really happened, it would be the luckiest thing that could have happened to him. Why? Because it would have involved 'mail theft".
I say that because that kind of tax delinquency would have triggered warnings that would have been sent via "Certified mail" (see link below). And anyone, including a tax preparer or spouse that intercepts a Certified Notice from a Federal Agency like the IRS is committing a crime. If the spouse had committed such a crime, it would have been a simple matter to take them for all they were worth in divorce proceedings, if not through legal action.
If your friend lies to you like that, imagine living with him. Probably deserves to be divorced.
Yeah, it's a made up story. The husband would still have to sign the return. Did he not notice that his wife's income and info was not included? Did he never even look at the returns to see how much was owed/being refunded? Anyone that naive deserves to be taken to the cleaners.
ChatGPT (or similar) is my guess, and high likelihood at that.
For a neutral observer of other peoples relationships, the sign of inevitable divorce is the day they get married because some women and men are pure divorce bait. They could never have gone a lifetime married to the same individual, for various reasons. Now of course basically all women want to get married because they are security seeking beings (they benefit financially from marriage and divorce as well) and they glorify marriage to young children, indoctrinating young boys to believe the deception that marriage is generally great for men when the opposite is probably true. What man would enter a contract where he loses half his assets if it ends? That deal makes absolutely zero logical sense but love is blind and hindsight is 20/20.
This post was edited 1 minute after it was posted.
The #1 indicator that a couple will break up is contempt. If either party is showing disdain for the other, it's likely that the relationship will be unhappy and short-lived.
Anecdotally, I've heard multiple women say that they knew they were ready for a divorce when they felt that life would be easier without a husband than with one. These were women who were employed, but who still did the lion's share of managing the family schedule, shopping for and preparing meals, and tending to the emotional needs of the kids. These women were tired of having to do the extra cooking/shopping/tidying that having an extra adult in the house created when they felt like their husband didn't acknowledge how much they were doing and/or was unwilling to help out. They felt like they were already doing enough on their own within the family that it would be easier to just cut out the husband and actually be the sole adult in charge of their household.
I know many on this board like to cast women as leeches on men's money and time, but I'm being honest about what I've seen and heard from other families. Women initiate the majority of divorces, and this is often a big part of their reason for it.
I’m sure the kids were delighted to be rid of their father, as he didn’t do enough chores around the house.
Actually they tend to do it because most married men are piles of garbage who don’t try.
Take your white knight rhetoric to r/feminism
People are incapable of taking a balanced view. “Men are piles of garbage.” Gimme a break. Women think they would be better off without their husbands…because he doesn’t do enough around the house? What a stupid reason to destroy a marriage, and separate a man from his children.
It would be the same as a man divorcing his wife because she gets overweight. It’s just selfish and stupid to break up a family over something like that. We all have flaws. Learning to live with each other’s flaws is part of being an adult, and having a successful marriage.
Did you notice she started filing taxes separately and suspicious behavior like that?
I did notice the sign, her being bitchy and cranky all the time. So I filed for divorce and got a great settlement and the house because she was a MD. Was a great decision and I am much happier without her black cloud
For me it was when I was no longer her confidant and she really wasn't talking about her activities while away from me. But my ex was a cheater and the sign may be different for others. But my suspicions was correct. She was also very good at deception. Years after the divorce she still wouldn't admit to cheating. I knew she was unfaithful and I just wanted out. I still remain her friend though but I know better than to expect anything more than a friendship from her.
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