Visit your doctor and ask for these pills called Poopzadazy. They make your dumplings non stinky. It really works.
Visit your doctor and ask for these pills called Poopzadazy. They make your dumplings non stinky. It really works.
Tell her parents you're going to "release a mud monkey in their shi.tting facility."
But first ask them if you can "absolutely obliterate the shi.tter."
Maybe there's a local track you could use instead? ;)
Buy the children’s book “everyone poops” and put it on the top of the toilet
If you're looking for a long-term relationship, just clog it now to save embarrassment later. It's going to happen, everyone poops.
Assert your meat eating male dominance and blow it up, pardner. Probably wouldn't hurt to upgrade the plunger to something substantial, might I recommend this one. It's a little pricey but worth every penny.
Just crush it violently. Let her hear you! Without a doubt. Grunt like hell if you need to. Bang on the walls. Kick the door. Stink it the eff out. Then when you are done, walk out slowly staring in her eyes, nod your head,and calmly say, "That's how a man does it".
Just don't do this like 4-5 times in one day or she will think you are effed up.
This is excellent. She’s probably thinking the same thing. I had a few vegetarian gfs and they drop really nasty smelly poop with green streaks to boot 🤮
but what if she tries to enter the bathroom while you’re in the shower after you pooped? She just needs a dime to open the door. You could barricade the door with your shoes and clothes.
but yea, shower afterwards like everyone is saying. Maybe add some music for the sounds. Put a few paper sheets on the water to prevent the splash sound. The running water trick doesn’t actually work.
Well whatever you do, don’t ask the BTC kids for advice
Just make sure you use the toilet and not the bed sheets....yes it happens
DO A ‘TANK TOPPER’ AND LEAVE!!!!
Seriously, bring a matchbox. Afterwards--if not while on the crapper--light a match. Perhaps two (if necessary).
Before that, though, eat a lot of fiber for several days so your dookie comes out in a solid, well-formed consistency and won't splash very loud. It just sneaks into the water, quietly. We're talking one, maybe two turds.
Tried and true method. Good luck, brother.
I once had a really great dump at my girlfriend's apartment high on blotter acid. Can't recommend it enough!
michiganrunner55 wrote:
Buy the children’s book “everyone poops” and put it on the top of the toilet
What? Women poop? I thought that was only a guy thing.
This thread is so much exactly like being on one of those stupid recovery runs where you’re just messing about and start laughing so hard that you have to stop.
I suggest you make such effective and efficient love to her, she loses track of who’s doing what and craps the bed in her ecstasy. After that incident, you can destroy her bathroom daily and that’s not gonna touch the time she dookied the bed…
Go in your pants
Please tell me you're not still holding it in while weighing the various options people have been posting here...
Two words: Cleveland Steamer
Get comfortable with your bodies. I poop with the door open so GF can enter the bathroom for something quick, but if I’m extra smelly, she just makes a face and imprisons me shut.
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