If I was with a girl with a borderline personality disorder I would be trying to support her and I would treat her real good. I would try and help her to recover from it so we can be perfect and happy together. I respect girls.
If I was with a girl with a borderline personality disorder I would be trying to support her and I would treat her real good. I would try and help her to recover from it so we can be perfect and happy together. I respect girls.
Good on you buddy
This guy gives a pretty good overview of what it's like to date women with BPD:
BPD - Beware!!!!!!!!!! wrote:
This guy gives a pretty good overview of what it's like to date women with BPD:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHDmStorikk
Umm, no he's a misogynist in denial.
For all the young fellers out there... who have yet to meet one of these not so lovely creatures....
Almost all the ones I dated (or the ones interested in getting to know me) turned me into who I am now. It's Cause & Effect, mate.
Wanted to share my story and didn't see a way to just post, so I'm replying to your response, PHP.
I'd just like to issue a warning to men who think they can tame a BPD or somehow be a "good enough" of a guy to keep her under control.
You can't. I dated a woman I worked with. Very stupid decision on my part. I even went into it telling myself that I was going to keep it casual and fun as she, initially, seemed very sweet and innocent. What a fake, bulls*it act that was on her part.
While we were dating, only 3 months, she screamed bloody murder at me because I didn't eat a piece of a poptart she gave me earlier that morning. During this particular rage session she even said "there's no reason to live!" All over a poptart. The 2nd major incident, the one which caused me to end things, was after we got into a fight at the grocery store. What we fought about isn't relevant as it was a B.S. manufactured fight on her part. But anyways, later that evening I brought it up again. Her response? She started hitting herself in the face repeatedly and she threw a balled up sock at my face and stormed out of my apartment @ 3:00 AM in the morning.
Long story short, I ended the relationship. What happened next? The very definition of stalking and harassment. Things that If I would have done to her, I would have been thrown in jail.
Over the course of a YEAR after our breakup, she:
* moved to my neighborhood
* would come to my department constantly and stare at me.
* for the first few months parked her car right next to mine every single day at work.
* vandalized my car on 4 separate occasions.
* Occasionally would follow me home from work.
* started popping up randomly around my neighborhood. She followed me to a haircut on a Saturday one day.
* At work she relentlessly flirted with other guys and rubbed it in my face. She was absolutely relentless. And these guys were complete losers in every sense of the word.
I addressed this with management after she vandalized my car for the a second time. She even ADMITTED to vandalizing my car and that she hits herself in the face, I aired all her dirty laundry, and she STILL didn't get fired. In fact, it was almost like they were going out of their way to protect and minimize her behavior. It was absolutely appalling. They did tell her she was not allowed to come out to my department anymore, but she still did and NO-ONE said anything. The act she put on at work was truly amazing. Everyone thought she was this sweet, shy innocent little thing that wouldn't hurt a fly. Add on top of that that she was very attractive and many men in that office were drooling over her. It was absolutely disgusting. You could tell these were guys who had barely if ever been laid in their lives.
So this went on and on and I finally went to management again about it and this time the reaction they gave me was different. They seemed more annoyed at me at this point. I knew at that point I was screwed. A month later I was told I my job was being restructured and I was being let go. They gave me a severance and that was that. They KNEW that if they would have fired me, they would have had a law suit on their hands. All this happened 2 months after I got an $8,000 raise and a $3,000 bonus. They were protecting themselves legally and because she was a woman, they knew they wouldn't win that legal battle.
I was EXTREMELY angry after this happened. Luckily, I was able to get a new job a few weeks later making just about the same amount of money that I was making at my previous job. Financially, I'm fine. What my current problem is and what I'm having trouble getting over is the fact that she won. She got her way. She was relentless. She didn't care if she lost her job in the process, as long as she f*cked me over. And she did. All these people at my company didn't see it for what it was. They had no idea what she was doing behind the scenes and her stalking me for close to a year eventually wore me down. I couldn't take it anymore. So I guess getting let go was a blessing in disguise, especially since I was able to find work so quickly afterwards.
Don't kid yourself about BPD women. They are EXTROADINARLY dangerous. They are they most calculating and deceptive human beings you will ever meet. I swear to God that if they weren't so emotionally unstable, they would give CIA interrogators a run for their money as far as mind games and emotional manipulation are concerned.
If you are involved romantically with a woman who shows any signs of BPD, get the hell out of there immediately. I don't care how cool you think you are or how many girlfriends you've had in the past. These women will devastate you emotionally if you get too close to them.
Good luck,
Jon
Don't date women at your workplace or trust the crazy b.s. as any less dangerous and wrong than it is.
Rex Twizzler wrote:
are there any girls without personality disorder?
sensible.
psychology is just a weird way of describing things in patterns that you dislike. These relationships intrinsically have adversarial qualities.
What is a woman without 'psychology' problems?
Someone who waits on you, on time, always, never lying or standing up for herself when you have a problem so you can talk to her like an old gym buddy while having the benefits of a relationship, and a rich father who bankrolls her so you do not argue over money?
Going after a girl because she wows you with soft stuff and expecting the domestic relationship afterwards to not involve her sugar to disappear as she has too much relying on your money and life and has a contract that says you cannot stop her seems like an unrealistic expectation of the world.
How was the sex?
thanks for this bump, all these symptoms are just too familiar
Very kinky and hot. Since we worked together we started calling each other Mr. and Ms. I'm not going to give my real name but let's say my last name is Smith and hers is Jones. She would come over to my place and I'd say "why do you keep misbehaving at work Ms. Jones?" And she'd say "because I like riding that **** Mr. Smith". This translated into the bedroom. It was very hot. She was down for anything sexually.
This story made me cry. I recognize this so well. I am in a relationship with a BPD woman. It was meant to be a friendship but she got under my skin by her appearance, the way she moves, her voice and what she tells me. It is like being in a movie, surreal almost. Like being hypnotized or being on drugs. Because of, amongst other things, her irrational behaviour we have much fun together. I accepted her moods changes, goal changes, planning changes,.. Everthing always changes, always surprises, and never knowing what to expect, this I love. We helped each other in different ways with the issues in our lives. After six months we were almost living together and then I proposed to move in with her and restart our lives. She did not accept my proposal and from that moment on things got worse. Sometimes she still likes to be together, but more and more she wants to be by herself. I find that extremely hard to cope with, it is like detoxing. I knew from the beginning that she had BPD, yet I really fell for her charmes. At this point our relationship is alomost non-existent and I even had to hire a personal coach to get me back on track. I do not know exactly when it will end, but I know it will. I just do not have the strength to say goodbye.
Haaaaaa! Coming from someone that hasn’t experienced the fuckery. You can have the best intentions in the world in the beginning of one of these relationships and it will completely change you. Suck the living life out of you. I ended up screaming at this girl a couple times which is something I’ve never done to a woman in my life. Not proud of it, but these people will drive you fucking nuts. You won’t even recognize yourself anymore.
I'll keep my sob story short. I'm bumping this thread.
Trying to figure out what happened here...I just got out of a long term relationship 3 months ago with a crazy woman.
Cliff notes:
1. Total love bombing and obsessive behavior in the first month.
2. Moved in with me after 8 months of dating.
3. Proposed to her after 11 months. Wanted a $15K ring. Got disappointed when I got something cheaper. Cut off sex a month entirely after the proposal.
4. Things went south during wedding planning due to wedding plans being backed up due to Covid. Also had disagreement about when we should have kids.
5. I'm always wrong, she's always right. Selfish and crying when things don't go her way.
6. She was on Lamictal and Lexapro medication and often flipped between the two.
7. Obsessed with wealth and money and was not happy with my salary.
8. Started treating me like a complete stranger the last week of us dating and I ended it and she spent a week crying.
9. She found out she had a new boyfriend 3 weeks after I moved out. She seems super happy now because apparently he makes good money (that's my shallow guess).
Is this Borderline Personality, a manic depressive, bipolar? All of the above? I'm depressed that she moved on that quickly - but then I remember what a mess she was and maybe I dodged a bullet.
This is more consistent with BiPolar disorder - not Borderline Personality Disorder.
Gross wrote:
I'll keep my sob story short. I'm bumping this thread.
Trying to figure out what happened here...I just got out of a long term relationship 3 months ago with a crazy woman.
Cliff notes:
1. Total love bombing and obsessive behavior in the first month.
2. Moved in with me after 8 months of dating.
3. Proposed to her after 11 months. Wanted a $15K ring. Got disappointed when I got something cheaper. Cut off sex a month entirely after the proposal.
4. Things went south during wedding planning due to wedding plans being backed up due to Covid. Also had disagreement about when we should have kids.
5. I'm always wrong, she's always right. Selfish and crying when things don't go her way.
6. She was on Lamictal and Lexapro medication and often flipped between the two.
7. Obsessed with wealth and money and was not happy with my salary.
8. Started treating me like a complete stranger the last week of us dating and I ended it and she spent a week crying.
9. She found out she had a new boyfriend 3 weeks after I moved out. She seems super happy now because apparently he makes good money (that's my shallow guess).
Is this Borderline Personality, a manic depressive, bipolar? All of the above? I'm depressed that she moved on that quickly - but then I remember what a mess she was and maybe I dodged a bullet.
Consider yourself lucky to get out of this mess.
If you notice a borderline behavior, just run as fast as you can in the other direction.
Banana Bread wrote:
If I was with a girl with a borderline personality disorder I would be trying to support her and I would treat her real good. I would try and help her to recover from it so we can be perfect and happy together. I respect girls.
You can not help these people. The many people posting tried to help them. They do not want the help. Similar to if you gave a homeless person 5 grand, a place to live and a job. They would be back on the streets, jobless within a month and spent the 5 grand on drugs. Your time, effort and money wasted. The people making posts such as the one which I quoted are either ignorant, trolling or flat out idiots.
steve the addict wrote:
You can not help these people. The many people posting tried to help them.
This is me. I did everything I could. Nothing was acceptable.
Gross wrote:
steve the addict wrote:
You can not help these people. The many people posting tried to help them.
This is me. I did everything I could. Nothing was acceptable.
I was always wrong. I would repeat what she said or did the night before back to her and she would accuse me of gaslighting. It got to the point where I recorded the insanity and went to play it back - but then I was being unfair. I don’t really care about fighting over nothing, so I just agreed with whatever crazy she was saying. But I was still wrong. If I cleaned the house, it made her feel guilty. If went to bed too early because I was tired and she stayed up all night reading the internet, then I was avoiding her.
Never again.
