Anyone dated a girl with a borderline personality disorder?

every relationship for me ended because of my personality disorder .

I guess I have no clue either. He seemed to be an a------ to me too.

If you are basing this solely off her when she is drunk. I don't think it is BPD. I am not an expert, but I do have some experience with mental health disorders. she might have some deep seeded issues that come to the surface when she drinks. I would tell her to try and stay sober and quit drinking, for the betterment of the relationship, and if she says no or you don't want to get out dude. if she shows these mode swings and other signs while sober, it might be BPD.

on YouTube psych2go has a good video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Dt9xJGPQBk

The last thing I will say is make sure how you feel about this person. If you love this person, and want to help her face her Drinking and issues stay. If you don't want to deal with it or she doesn't want to help, get out, because at the point you have to do what's best for you.

Good luck man!

Look, as soon as someone starts to behave like this you need to get out. It's abusive. No excuses, it doesn't matter how "amazing" it is at times, no one should be treated like that. Break it off and spend some time alone or with your friends.

Sadly, I did the same... reading her text messages and listening to her voicemails. I did it because I thought I was losing my mind— all the lies and cheating scared the hell out of me. She was stop dead sexy and beautiful — but the things she did and lies she told everyone was pure evil.

She really messed up all the men in her life — legally and mentally.

I was lucky, and learned about BPD. Like so many others I tried to “fix” her or at least enjoy the sex and not take her lies so personally.

The problem with BPD is that they are wicked smart and will learn what your weaknesses are. Example: If you love your family they will blackmail you to stay together. They will make sex tapes (without your knowledge) and threaten to send them to your family or your employer.

BPD girls are amazing in the sack— and they make you feel alive. But you are playing with FIRE. They will get you to “trust” them then crush you— it’s fascinating but also frightening.

It’s been months since I’ve seen her — and I still worry she will text or call me for a weekend in paradise. Stay away from them.

Just think of that one thing you love — and imagine how she could destroy it (because trust me, she’s already making a list when she realizes you aren’t under her control anymore).

The last day I was with my BPD gf was actually the most violent and it happened in the car. When she told me to get in the car I thought it was to talk while stationary. Little did I know she other plans to treat the neighborhood like a rally-road racing course while hitting me and throwing things at me for some arbitrary trigger. She never laid a hand on me in 3 years until that day. BPD women are essentially the modern day street magicians of emotions. The reach into your soul, past the heart, into the sub-heart region where only most intense of attachments occur. Once they access that part of you they shatter it like Daniel Stern stepping on glass Christmas ornaments. Like many others have said, they are never the same. As am I....not the same. Almost as if the left over remainder of child like wonder and hope that you carry as an adult has been erased permanently. Unless the person with BPD you are with, looks at you in the eyes and acknowledges their problem, goes and gets real help AND shows real improvement this is a metaphorical game of russian roulette with 6 bullets. Unless you have experienced attaching yourself to a BPD and the pure horror of the fallout you will never what it is like.

Dude, I'm so sorry for you. I am a girl, but I know how it happens. My boyfriend once suffered a border disorder, we met at https://hookupmasters.com/adult-dating-sites/megahookup-review/ and at the beginning of the relationship everything was fine. But then the symptoms began to manifest and the family psychologist helped us. now everything is fine with us, I believe that everything will be fine with you too, hold on!

Well said— they were built to destroy and the saddest part is you realize something isn’t right from early on. The online dating world has made it easy for them to identify “good guys” from other towns or States where they can find their “fuel”.

I’m still impressed with their ability to mirror the target and make you feel like a million dollars while cheating on you or gathering and memorizing your weaknesses (that even you didn’t know you had).

I haven’t seen her for nearly a year— but she has found was to text or call just to mess with me. Ugh...

Man, this thread has legs, been around fer five years. This OP probably married the beyatch and killed her by now.

Yeah I did. Alls fine. Really.

I’m guessing she didn’t have BPD....

What’s funny: the first three months of dating my BPD— I thought it was booze (3-4 drinks and she went crazy) that created the chaos. It took me awhile (suicide threats and blackmail if I didn’t reply to her texts promptly) to understand BPD. In fact, I went to see a professional when my BPD tried to convince me that I was a narcissist and the one trying to control her.

I hope the creator of this thread is doing okay... I’m guessing he either got totally hooked on the sex or his gf didn’t have BPD.

I’m dating this incredible girl now (ridiculously more beautiful and classy than crazy cakes), but if I told you I don’t missed the chaos and wicked passionate sex, I would be lying.

Give us more of an update

No update means that she checks this thread to see what he says about her....

Ouch.

I read this article today...his ex-wife was diagnosed with BPD. If any of you have been with a genuine Borderline— you know the truth.

He tried to leave, she went ballistic and became physical. Made false accusations and then used the kids against him. In fact, the kids admit to this. The police knew what was happening... and she’s been in trouble with the law since.

My exBPD was the most beautiful and sexy girl I’ve ever seen. She would threaten suicide (hanging herself, cutting, OD from pills, shooting herself) when I tried numerous times to break it off. She would attack me physically and I had to literally run away from her with a knife or other weapon in her hand. It was nutty— What’s crazier is that I thought I was actually in love with her.

Gratefully, I’m dating someone new now—but I still fear the ex-BPD will show up. It’s been nearly a year!

I feel lucky to have gotten away from her, but let’s be honest— will we ever be able to totally forget about them? Oh well, the brain only remembers the good times— so articles like this help me remember what was real.

I just got out of a relationship with a borderline. She was admittedly a very mild case relative to a lot of the women in this thread as she was not violent, did not self-harm, is not an addict, etc, but she is still very clearly a borderline.

I could tell 2 months into the relationship she was too dysfunctional to have a healthy relationship, but I continued anyway because 1) I'm a good guy (sucker?) and thought I could help her, and 2) I was EXTREMELY attracted to her. She is the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world to me, and the sex was indescribable. We had sex almost every single day, multiple times per day lots of days, and it was always ridiculously good. Even if we had a BAD fight, we would have awesome sex by the next day. She'd even go down on me every day, sometimes multiple times in the same day, on days she was having her period.

The good times were so good it felt like being on a drug. It was so good that it interfered with the rest of my life because all I wanted was to be with her and spend time together. Felt like nothing else in my life even mattered. She was the moodiest person I've ever met in my life though and also the most emotionally reactive. There were many days that she would have total meltdowns over things nobody else would have batted an eye over. Some days she was just waiting to explode over any noise my mouth made. She was extremely jealous, needy, and forever preoccupied with fear I would leave her (obviously). She lived her life like a prey-animal and saw the world as inherently dangerous, thought bad guys would jump out to get her at any moment walking around at night even in her nice little neighborhood with her intimidating dog. Her anxiety and depression were literally debilitating at times to the point she had to take off work about once per month. She was so intolerant to criticism that one time when I pointed out to her she was treating me poorly and being hypocritical, she tried to kick me out of the house (this was while we were long distance and I was visiting; I had nowhere else to stay, and it was late at night). SHE was in the wrong, I merely pointed it out, and she had a full blown melt down, started crying, blamed me, and tried to kick me out at 11:30pm in the middle of winter.

She was obsessed with true crime, primarily serial killers. There was one two week period where all she talked about, all she listened to, and all she watched was serial killers, serial killer podcasts, and serial killer shows, and not just regular stuff either; really horrible stuff where they talk in detail about rape and torture and bondage and that sort of thing, really disturbing stuff. She filled her head with it sometimes.

Numbers pretty much may as well have been Chinese characters to her. She couldn't form a budget that even began to make any sense. Couldn't save a dime. Couldn't plan to save her life. Couldn't count days of the week sometimes or do simple math involving time zones. Not sure if this is a BPD thing or just her. Would literally have anxiety attacks over making decisions sometimes.

There were times when we would have the most wonderful conversations, and I'd feel totally in sync with her, totally in love and like she was a great, intelligent, reasonable person. Then there'd frequently be conversations where she wouldn't even make any sense, would deny things she'd recently done or said, project all her bad behavior onto me to the point it was plum looney... deny, deny, deny, project, project, project. Insanity. She'd lie and change her story, sometimes contradicting herself mere sentences apart. BPD's are known to put "feelings before facts," and this was definitely the case with her. She'd revise reality to fit her feelings. I'm a very strong-minded person, but I can see how borderlines make people feel crazy or question their perception of reality. She had major problems dealing with reality sometimes even when she was in one of her "good" moods. Could only think idealistically, not pragmatically, even when it came to bills. Her Dad bailed her out multiple times, and she'd honestly be a street person if not for him. Her net wealth places her in the bottom 4% of people her age in the US, and it'd be worse than that if not for her dad.

We were long distance for awhile, and when we met up it felt like I was with an entirely different person. It's like she had forgotten who she was supposed to be around me. It was bizarre and really made me feel bad at the time. Never experienced anything like it, but apparently that's a common occurrences with borderlines and their SOs if they're apart for awhile. The borderline becomes whoever she needs to become to please (similar to those with NPD), and they will forget when apart from their SO and/or adopt a different personality to fit whatever other people they're spending time with.

The relationship ended when she entered somewhat of a psychosis. She had had major mental/emotional problems all along, but we had a talk about finances at one point (which was unproductive as she refused to talk at first and then lied about her finances), and it threw her into a really bad tailspin where she first became agitated for a few days, then fell into a severe depression in which she became suicidal, then she entered into a state of extreme anger and delusion. I thought she might have a full blown mental breakdown and need to be hospitalized. She said horrible things to me during this time and was a completely different person... May as well have dissociative identity disorder. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde is spot on. She sort of came to a bit and apologized to me, cried and cried and said she didn't know what was wrong with her, that she just wanted to be normal, she needed help, etc, then was totally fine and acting like nothing happened another day later. I called her to break up with her a few days later, and she acted like the whole thing never happened, denied having any problems at all, said I was the one with all the problems (and we went through them one by one), and was more uncooperative in the conversation than the brattiest of small children. Which is another thing: I frequently felt like I was dealing with a 5 year old when dating her. I frequently felt like I was explaining basic truths and principles about life and the world to her as if she was 5-10 years old. I sometimes felt like I was in a relationship with an invalid. She would do and say things that were unbelievably stupid and illogical once or twice per month, things that made you wonder if and eventually understand that she wasn't all there.

The trouble with her and this relationship is that she CAN be a truly wonderful person and has many great qualities. She is not an out of control criminal or addict like a lot of borderlines. She has friends. But as far as I can tell, no guy has stuck around more than a couple months besides me.

I found these two links very helpful:

https://qr.ae/TWhdNT

https://youtu.be/TNQQIRKLPHs

Same same.

1. No idea how to do a budget. She married well — and lived in a $1.8M mansion until she cheated on her husband. Divorced him and moved into a really nice $700k house a few blocks away. Ran out of money in 3 years, sold the nice house and moved into a $300 house a few more streets away. Ran out of money and took a reverse mortgage. It’s going to keep going and going ...

2. Sex was insane and I still dream about it. 4-6 times per day— she demanded it. She dressed up, talked dirty, or acted innocent and sweet. I became totally addicted and I’ve never made sex the biggest part of any relationship. Omg, the seduction and sex on a daily basis...

3. The moodiness, the obsessive desire to learn about serial killers and murders...it was weird. She never read books but could spend hours and hours on YouTube or DVR anything and everything about really sick Stuff.

I fell in love...but I found out about her cheating and neediness the hard way.

I love this thread. 5 years of truly impeccable message board storytelling. Please, share more stories about these train wrecks.