most original runner heckle

All within a matter of a few seconds while running on the Ghetto side of town.........

A little girl, maybe 12, says:

Them drawers sure is short...You sure is ugly...Then something about `kill you'.....

I then picked up the pace a bit.

While running on the neighborhood bike paths in just shorts and shoes, I passed a father walking with very young son. The boy said, "Look Daddy, that guy's naked."

1. At about 8PM on a Saturday I did some loops around my neighborhood. Ran past a couple of young thuggish looking black kids around 15 min into the run with no words exchanged. I passed them again on a subsequent loop, at which point one kid said, "Dude, don't you have any friends?" Never heard that one before.

2. Semi-heckles from the soccer moms: On the local busy trail (about two miles long) the soccer moms have been known to say, "Stop running, you're making me tired watching you!" as the faster runners run back and forth multiple times while they do their out-and-back power walk. This one is a variant of the "Stop running so fast you are making us look bad!" (spoken with a mix of sarcasm and scorn, usually during fall marathon training season when they attempt to "run").

Some years ago, while finishing a 10 mile run (I was 5'9" and 130 pounds) in 90 degree weather with no shirt - a very sarcastic and overweight 10 year old advises me from his bike while eating an icecream cone, "pick up the pace buddy, you still need to lose about 20 pounds".

I had no comeback, because the remark, while obviously and purposely very self-deprecating, was also a very sharp heckle to me...especially for a 10 year old.

The two best:

In the ghetto: "Gangsters walk mother(expletive)"

Two weeks ago, running shirtless, from a 50 year old man, in a singsong voice: "You're going to get fat" (You'reeeeeee gonnnnnnaa to get faaaaAAAAaaaat)

DougM wrote:

While running on the neighborhood bike paths in just shorts and shoes, I passed a father walking with very young son. The boy said, "Look Daddy, that guy's naked."

Similar thing happened to me. This past track season, all of us distance guys were running through a park and this little kid said to his parents "mommy, why are those guys naked?" it was pretty funny.

So, what is it that compels people to yell things at runners? I live in a very rural area so I rarely see anyone on my runs. The town I live in has only 250 people, and they all know I run so they just leave me the hell alone. But if I run anywhere else people always have to say something... anything, or make some retarded running gesture. The thing is, when I see a runner I always want to yell something too, or at least I'm compelled to watch them for a few seconds. It's a bizare phenomena, but I still don't know why people love to yell shit at runners. Some part of me says they're jealous.

I once had a black kid tell me "You can stop running now, you lost the cops." I thought that was pretty funny.

It was St. Patty's day in an Irish neighorbood when I was out for a run and a small pick up truck drives by me and a young bucko (around 17?), whose face and hair are painted green, and who is that drunk that his head is bounces this way and that depending on the turn or bump of the truck, looks at me with dead drunk shark eyes and hollers, "You are f_cked up!"

DougM wrote:

While running on the neighborhood bike paths in just shorts and shoes, I passed a father walking with very young son. The boy said, "Look Daddy, that guy's naked."

That happend to me once, except.........I was naked. No no just kidding.

Anyway, a 13 year old girl (age is estimated) said "Nice pecks" to me as I ran by her. My arms are about as wide around as my wrists.

i was stopped at a light at a huge intersection and a group of kids walking home from school started singing "macho macho man" and i had to stand there and take it while waiting for the light. it was unreal.

brettman10k wrote:

Anyway, a 13 year old girl (age is estimated) said "Nice pecks" to me as I ran by her. My arms are about as wide around as my wrists.

Your pecs, not "pecks," are your chest muscles not your arms. Two corrections for the price of one.

I'll reply to my own thread. Since you guys reminded me of the ghetto comments I have more. My teammate and I ran the wrong way out of are college campus and ended up in Trenton New Jersey. For any of you from New Jersey you know Trenton isn't exactly a friendly neighborhood. Anyway We had "come back whitey!" yelled to us by a group of black men across the street which wasn't funny just scary as all hell. A women said to us "nice bodies" as we ran by. And a little kid on a big wheel asked us "those yall's boxers?" All in 8 miles of running.

Some 10 year old kid with the top of his head dyed blue told me to shave before.

Once while running along in west philly I ran past a young black man and I knew he was going to say something but I didn't know what. As I ran past him he leaned in towards me. Now I thought he was going to hit me or something but all he said was Yo you gotta light. All I could do was say no while I was laughing and running away. I thought that was pretty original and funny.

This was more than a few years back:

"Where's the beef!?"

Some teenagers one time drove up to me while running, slowed down for the examination, and then one yelled out the window, "you're flat!", at which point they decided that they were no longer interested in me, and drove off. In case I hadn't figured that one out on my own yet.

Also, as a girl, I've noticed that construction workers/landscapers and teenage boys are the best at coming up with some sexually related comment and thinking that it's incredibly original and funny. For example, the idiot 16 or so year old the other day that first greeted me with "good morning" (it was like, 8pm) and then followed that up with "you're really hot" (right, covered in sweat while cooling down after a workout, and of course with my lack of boobs), obviously making me want to stop my run right then and there to give him his first sexual experience with an actual female.

After practice one day, my friends' (all runners - and as for the placement of the apostrophe, there are 3 brothers) dad asked me, "Why you walkin' around in your underwear?" I didn't realize until they told me later that he actually thought that the shorts were my underwear.

"what did you steal?"

-from some young black kids