Smashed my son's Xbox with a hammer as punishment. Now he won't talk to me. Not sure if I screwed up.

As punishment, get him a Nintendo Wii.

Absolute garbage. Wish I could smash this thread with a hammer.

0/10.

I say at least 4.7/10, even though I didn't read it all.

1.) Smashing the kids xbox sets a terrible example. I mean take it away from him and lock it up or at least give it away to the needy. You just destroyed hundreds of dollars cuz you got pissed off. Your child will probably smash stuff every time something makes him mad as an adult because he learned this behavior from you

2.) YOUR divorce is probably screwing your kid in the head right now, whatever the cause of the divorce is. Don't force your kid to split custody, if he wants to live with his mom full time let him.

3.) At the end of the day your child is a reflection of you as a parent.

Your father abused you sexually and physically but you'd have drawn the line at smashing your possessions? I'm calling BS.

I would have taken it away long ago... probably would have sold it before smashing it though. Do not cave to the kid and if he doesn't open his door, remove it.

I sold my stepson’s xbox One for cheap and told him it was going towards his car. Hammering it to death is a little excessive lol

Really? Smashing an Xbox that I bought (so...er...MY Xbox) is abuse? I don't think so, you snowflake (probably a Iibtard).

Divorced, child abuser, lrc troll. Are drugs and alcohol in the picture. Let me guess your name is either jerry, larry, doug, greg, or adam?

There's obviously a lot going on here besides this one incident.

With regard to the smashing of the xbox, I think you already knew you screwed up. Did you have the right to do it? Sure, but whether you can and whether you should are two different questions.

You allowed yourself to get angry for a year and then blew up with an act of violence. I don't think that's an example any rational parent would want to set.

I think you do him an apology not for destroying the Xbox, but for setting a poor example by responding to his attitude/actions with violence that came out of anger.

You might be able to buy your way to a temporary state of peace by replacing the item, but I doubt that will make either of you happy. It isn't going to make him respect you and may do the opposite. Go for it if you are just hoping to tolerate living with him for another 4 years and are willing to make similar peace offerings during this time.

Repair your relationship with your son. If you're not sure how to do that, which would be normal, seek professional help. There is no shame in admitting you need help here.

Exactly. Typical boomer behavior to lash out with violence. You messed up. Next time find a different way to reach him or he'll just get stuck in a vicious cycle of resentment and the problem will get worse. Threatening physical action is never the answer.

Dale here. Sounds like Mike is getting mad again. Back in college we always called him Mad Mike. Mike was always looking up to the leaders on the team, the players like me. I could pull mad pussay back in those days. Straight playa here ya boi! And I was fast too, always #1 on the team, Mike was always looking up to me and envious of the way I scored chics left and right. Mike wasn't even in the top 7 as a frosh, unlike me, but he always ran on pure hate. I told him you gottta run on love man, don't be a hater. Mike would go into these absolute rages where he would just smash things - books, calculators, nintendos, didn't matter; then he'd go run an 800 all out on the track, what dumb training, you gotta run on love and smell the roses.

By senior year, Mike had hated his way to #2 on the team, I remember some of the most gut wrenching hateful screams coming from that man. But there was always me, smooth as can be, showing up to meets the night after the big frat party hungover and pulling the win, ya boi!!! That year coach got some big recruiting bucks from the athletic department, apparently some football all star had decided to go to State U at the last minute. Coach pulled this absolute drop dead gorgeous kitten from Kenya, Sara. It was obv that I was going to be first to slay her. Me, Dale, the star of the team. But something weird happened, Sara was somehow attracted to this loser Mike. They ended up marrying and having a kid.

Boy, did that make me mad. That's not love, man. Real lovers let the team captain get first pick of the new kittens. Whelp, the years went by and I conquered many more ladies, beat Mike in many more races, but I never had Sara. Until last summer, I saw Sara in a bar crying. Apparently Mike had gone into a rage, finding his favorite track locked and smashed Sara's phone. That's Mike always mad. Sara told him to get some professional help, but he'd rather just smash stuff and run 800s. Anywho, things were goin bad and I'm irresistable so one thing led to another.

I've always been worried Sara would go back to Mike though. I mean I'm not faithful and how could I be with all those lionesses out there. Anyways, Mike was super mad; that's Mike, always mad. He swore he'd crush me at the Turkey Trot this year. Whelp one thing led to another and I pulled another win out of the air, pure love, gobble gobble mother letsrunners. I stood around the finish line waiting for my girl Sara to finish and who do I see but Mad Mike, kicking down the road looking like he's hating life. Out of the blue, Sara comes flying to down the road! That's my kitten! She nips Mike at the line. Moments later, Mike is pounding his fists on the water table, but it doesn't break and he just keeps pounding! Wow, what a loser!

Sara keeps saying she'll go back to Mike because of the other women, but I doubt it. Last night Sara's son called and said his dad smashed his xbox. Apparently he was in the final level of Halo 3 on the last guy and his dad just busted in the room and smashed it up. That's Mike, the mad Dad, what a loser!

Dale out!

It’s obvious where your son gets his sh!t behavior from.

Hi Mad Dad,

I am sorry that this happened to you. I am a father of three and I know how you feel. Being a parent is hard work, but the best thing I have ever done. My kids can really get me upset too with disrespect. Many people have already said that kids today are very different and it sounds like your son is testing the boundaries a lot too.

As for smashing his xbox. I can easily understand why you got upset and that you felt at the time that this was the best way to show him who was boss, or to show him you meant business....but you know it wasn't the best move. However, this IS a great way to repair the relationship. I think after the biggest fights is where you get the best healing. I would ask him to come out and talk to you. I would take ownership of your actions and say that you overreacted by breaking his toy and that this was not the way you felt that you could solve the problem. I would say that you felt upset and you used your anger to solve the problem, but you know this doesn't work. You regret it etc....BUT You also need to point out that his behavior concerns you and that the things happening in school and at home are not what you and his mother want for him.

My dad took me on a trip every October when I was in HS, just the two of us hiking mountains. It was the best, no devices, no work, nobody but the two of us. I would suggest you do a trip just you and your son to reconnect. It will take time but you want that relationship to be good and there is a way to do it. Just try and work with him...

Also, remember that the divorce is probably hard for him too. He will be feeling all sorts of things and maybe not comfortable in either home at the moment. I would also talk to your wife and try to get on the same page as far as raising him is concerned.

Good luck dad, I'm with you buddy.

P

No, it's life. Just buy him a new one and apologize and talk things through

Really agree with Dad, too!

Parents make mistakes. Just own up to it. Say "Hey, I screwed up. I got really mad because of how disrespectful you are. Let's figure out a way to move forward from here and communicate about things so something like this doesn't happen again."

Definitely don't dismiss anything he's done, rather, use it to explain how much it bothers you because of how much you love and care for him. Maybe figure out a way that he can start earning a new xbox? Work on it together. Make it a 6 week goal. Have communication as part of it. When he's with you, have a dinner together and talk. Every good day is a step in the right direction. Every tough altercation is a chance to try a new strategy at deescalation. When he's disrespectful, that's another day it'll take to get his xbox back.

Point out that you can disagree. That you can get angry and upset. Those are absolutely normal human emotions and there is nothing wrong with them. How you handle those emotions, though, is where you start growing up and becoming a responsible adult.

At the end of the day, he might just piss and moan for the next 5 years simply because he's a teenager and already knows everything. But you gotta keep trying. Empathize as much as possible, even when it drives you crazy. Explain how you get mad and frustrated to and how you get past it without burning every bridge you can.

Lots of trials and failures in the future, but don't give up.

Relax, you are just reasserting yourself as the alpha in the family. He's mouthing off because he wants to challenge you, but doesn't yet have the courage. Smashing his xbox is equivalent to a wolf showing his fangs, or a gorilla beating his chest. Its a warning sign- "I'm still the big dog in this house, don't f with me, son" When a lion challenges the leader and loses, it goes into hiding, much like your son is hiding in his room, licking his wounds. Don't worry though, he'll be back, stronger and angrier than ever.

I anticipate dramatically improved behavior out of him now that you have re-established yourself as the leader of the pack. A young man needs to know his place in the pecking order. This is only temporary, as he will eventually overtake you. Its nature's way.

A Dogs Dawg wrote:

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

this. you both sound like a$$holes.

Therapy. For everyone. Will it work? Maybe?