Favorite quotes from coaches ....

After the distance guys running a slow 200 interval

Coach-"I had girls run faster than that"

Athlete-"I have a 11 inch penis"

Coach-"I had girls have a 12 inch penis"

Con Milton: If you were a horse you'd have been put down by now.

Me: Cheers.

talking about the value of speed workouts:

"it's what puts the tiger in the cat"

Playing football as a kid we had a coach who after a game that resulted in a tie asked "How did it feel to kiss your sisters? cause that was what you just did."

The same moron was livid at a practice one night and decided to show us how a running back was suppose to "hit the line" . Coach had no helmet, was still in work clothes, and after one play had his mouth split open and was pissed at us. Football coaches lol

FH

"Sleep is practice for death"

The faster you run, the faster you're done.

"hey guys I want you out of the wind, get behind the chain link fence over there"

this one is from my old wrestling coach:

"Those wrestlers up north are just like whores. Give them time and they'll go straight to their backs."

while doing some video form analysis... "you want the good news or the bad news?... the good news is that theres always a spot on the chess team!" loved it.

After giving us abnoxious encouragement for the better part of a 500-300 workout, I challenged our throws coach to run a 300 with us.

"You come throw the disc over 100' and I'll run a 300 with you guys."

I threw 109' and change, and he said "Holy sh!t, quadzilla attacks!"

From my university coach

All said with a Polish Accent

"On the MENU for today, 5 times a mile, and I want it WELL DONE, he he he"

"Last time I said it was going to be a battle, this is bigger than that. It's an intergalactic battle, or a Star Wars"

Once heard a coach yelling the following at Jim Fink, former Scranton runner, who was in 4th (1st through 3rd were 10 yards ahead) at a conference championship:

"You get up where the race is right now."

Fink ended up finishing 3rd.

Women Weaken Legs

"All right guys. Let's stop counting nipple hairs and do some 800's"

Totally deadpan too (and we were counting nipple hairs)

"you look like you're running through quicksand"

"I could time you with a sun dial"

"you are embarrassing your mother right now"

"this is not the buddy system" (should we be running beside a teammate)

"let's keep this moderate" (nearly every single work-out)

"This isn't cold, there are Canadian Olympians out there right now, and it's -30 there, you don't think they are crying about frostbite"

*I have so many, I just can't remember them all right now

DUDE! Did you go to Falcon running camp?? I've heard stories about someone who had WWL tatooed on themselves...

some well-versed classics from my team:

On the bus home:

"The women's team did very well today. Too bad they were in the men's race."

"Guys, We should not have to rely on a f***ing freshman and a miracle kick from Schauerman to beat these guys."

(personal favorite, because I was the freshman, and he was looking right at me when he said it)

"Where was the race, Pancoast? Not where you f***ing were!"

During the race:

"Do something! Do anything!"

"Its too late, just give up, you're holding up actual athletes."

You guys are all a bunch of pussies, a bunch of pissies with injuries. so why dont you go down to the drug store buy a bunch of vagisil and take a bath it in.

we had just gotten back to the hotel after a pretty terrible DMR performance and the doorman asks us if we raced today. no one says anything at first and coach just turns to the guy and goes "NOPE".

another one was when we were on a long run with coach on a sunday morning. we are cruisin along around 6 min pace when coach goes "how come the freshman is the only one who stinks of alcohol." just then all the older guys pick it up and leave coach and i to discuss.