HS Athlete Drinking

I was brought home drunk by the police once when I was younger (I know how cool was I?!) but anyway my mum told my coach, who I respected greatly. Anyway he sat me down and told me it's alright to experiment with beers etc., as he did the same at my age, but not to go crazy or do anything stupid. He reminded me of my potential as an athlete and basically said "look kid lets not piss this away just impress your pals".

His talk worked. I went basically 3years without getting drunk, also won a few national titles, and although my friends didn't really understand my reasoning for not partying every weekend they soon came to respect my dedication.

Anyway hope this helps!

Not everything is about running or about his best interest as an athlete.

Maybe there are bigger problems at hand so who cares about an athletic handbook.

Coach Foo wrote:

BSCXC wrote:

Don't hold him out of the Championship race, that could only lead to worse behaviour.

This is a soft attitude.

If correcting him now would lead to "worse behavior", then you're negotiating with a terrorist.

He's a high school boy. He needs to be pulled from competition. I don't know a single school that has an athletic handbook that would not recommend the same.

His behavior is not in his best interest as an athlete. Pull him now, notify the administration, confront him with your decision and concerns, tell his mother, and clean your hands of it.

Not everything is about running or about his best interest as an athlete.

Maybe there are bigger problems at hand so who cares about an athletic handbook.

BSCXC wrote:

Not everything is about running or about his best interest as an athlete.

Maybe there are bigger problems at hand so who cares about an athletic handbook.

The athletic handbook is in the interest of the young person that it pertains to.

If he is abusing alcohol, then he needs to be removed from athletics to focus on his personal behavior.

The coach can still be a mentor and help him get back on track, but not on the athletic field.

Removing him from the team is priority. Complacency is consent for the athlete and in the eyes of his teammates.

Thanks for the advice...He is someone who I have had to have that talk with about, excpet for not holding up his end in school and not doing summer training and being out of shape. With those two examples specifically, I've had the "lets not piss this away" talk a few times. I just somewhat feel like that isn't working any more. I am trying to think of a middle ground where there is some reprocussion but at the same time not hammer him and see what the issue is because apparently there are several going on for this to all happen.

Discipline works

It is definitely a fine line...

I wouldn't really know what to do. I am of the belief that parents need to be just that, parents. Teachers, coaches, etc are far too often relied on to do the job and ironically are often critized when they do.

But, I do think this cannot not be avoided or a blind eye turned to it. Maybe holding him out of a meet is too much, but I don't know. You'll probably get better opinions from other coahes who have been in that spot. Tough position. Seems like people here are mixed on what to do. Sorry not much help.

hmmm that is a tricky one. Personally I think if he's not responding to the "lets not piss this away" talks he's just not invested enough in running, correct me if I'm wrong, but it does sound like he just doesn't care enough to change his attitude. With that being, I don't think there's much you can do about this as cutting him from the team may not be as big a punishment for him as it would be for his teammates.

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) this may just be out of your hands and in the hands of his parents to deal with it.

I'm a bit surprised at the leniency here. First, let's stop with the "I used to drink when I was in HS..." BS. That makes it normal or typical, not right. A lot of kids, myself included, drank in HS and we knew there were consequences if we got caught. Second, as a coach, are you not under some legal obligation to report stuff like this, especially if it is brought to your attention as a problem this kid is having (whether it was brought to your attention by his mom or another kid). I would think this is especially true if you are a teacher as well.

As one other poster said, run this up the flagpole. If you do nothing, and something bad happens the Mom will blow you in (and rightly so). She is clearly asking for help. Whether you, or the rest of the people on LRC think she's asking you to do her job as a parent is immaterial. She's asking for help.

Ted Underhill wrote:

as a coach, are you not under some legal obligation to report stuff like this, especially if it is brought to your attention as a problem this kid is having (whether it was brought to your attention by his mom or another kid). I would think this is especially true if you are a teacher as well.

Actually, teachers and school staff are mandated reporters. We are legally liable to report these behaviors and issues to the proper authorities.

Whether a teacher or coach chooses to report is up to them, but they ARE legally required to do so.

Coach Foo wrote:

Ted Underhill wrote:

as a coach, are you not under some legal obligation to report stuff like this, especially if it is brought to your attention as a problem this kid is having (whether it was brought to your attention by his mom or another kid). I would think this is especially true if you are a teacher as well.

Actually, teachers and school staff are mandated reporters. We are legally liable to report these behaviors and issues to the proper authorities.

Whether a teacher or coach chooses to report is up to them, but they ARE legally required to do so.

Isn't that what I asked? I was NOT saying that he was not under any obligation, I was implying (through the question) that I thought he would be obligated.

Got ya, just re-read your post.

Yes, it is a 'gray area' but he is a mandated reporter.

Knowing that a student athlete of mine was coming home drunk to parents who couldn't control him would weigh heavily on my mind, and I would feel obligated to report it to the correct administration for help (athletic director).

NYITavaras wrote:

Thanks for the advice...He is someone who I have had to have that talk with about, excpet for not holding up his end in school and not doing summer training and being out of shape. With those two examples specifically, I've had the "lets not piss this away" talk a few times. I just somewhat feel like that isn't working any more. I am trying to think of a middle ground where there is some reprocussion but at the same time not hammer him and see what the issue is because apparently there are several going on for this to all happen.

I've had this same scenario on my team more than once.

If you have had the "let's not piss this away" with him a few times, it is no longer tricky.

YOU told him not to screw up.

He did not care and screwed up.

He's off the team.

I hope you are not worried about how the team does in future races without him.

You are sending a message to him AND to other kids on the team.

That is pretty much how I look at it. Sticky situation but if it is a first time offense, maybe hold him from a race and have that talk, and then see if it goes further. It does seem like the mom is reaching out for help, although maybe there are underlining issues not known. I'm not sure how other posters would react to holding him out of the race, but I don't think I would kick him off. Too extreme, if it is the first time...

This is the first time I would have to speak to him or deal with him being drunk or drinking. The other talks had more to do with him not holding to outside responsibilites and it was at the request of the mother. That and him showing up out of shape. But this is the first time its over drinking.

You need to sort out a plan with the school's administrators so they have your back when you discipline the kid. Work out the discipline with the administration.

Kids need discipline.

Apparently the kid has started his own thread here too. Fun times.

You need to sort out a plan with the school's administrators so they have your back when you discipline the kid. Work out the discipline with the administration.

Kids need discipline. Use the rules, preferably on all the students drinking.

Apparently the kid has started his own thread here too. Fun times.

Coach Foo wrote:

NYITavaras wrote:

I appreciate all of the opinions,

he apparently is refusing to go to school now

Besides the fact, if you miss school, you technically aren't allowed to practice.

The whole situation blows and puts me in an awkward position...

It isn't an awkward situation any more. His primary concern is no longer athletics. If it were me (it has been before), I would meet with him (phone or face to face), state that he has not met your expectations, release him from the team for the season, and recommend that he improve his behavior. Offer to be there for him if he needs help, but he cannot run.

All these 'softie' approaches do nothing for him. He will not benefit from a bunch of adults acting helpless around him.

I've never understood the attitude that leads to kicking kids out of productive uses of their time for harmful misuses of their time. Now that they don't have this healthy diversion what do you think they're going to do? Go home and read Plato? They're going to go out and drink some more.

My experience exactly working in a pediatric obesity program. Parents bring their children in and expect me to "make them eat healthier foods, watch less tv, etc, etc". I tell them that they are the parents, not me.

That being said, mom probably believes that her son respects you and so it wouldn't hurt to have a word with him.