The best coach is the one with a long range plan. Who doesn't sacrifice you in the early years for immediate results. He gives you a four year plan with a chance that you can still make progress after college - if that is your goal.
The best coach isn't the same for everyone. For a D3 coach with mediocre runners it means helping them get better and establishing reasonable expectaions. And working towards a little team success since he may very well not have anyone with the genetic package to do damage nationally.
At D1 different athletes need different things. If you need a kick in the ass you might need a screamer. If you have average speed but are very durable maybe Wetmore can bring out your best.
Why does one athlete flourish in a program where everyone else is ready to mutiny? Because the match is good.
So the first thing a runner needs to do is be very blunt with himself about what he wants and needs. And also be willing to listen to people who know him well. If you think you need X as a runner and 5 people tell you you need Y, maybe you aren't going to do well as your own coach.
And don't forget
"You can't always get what you want. But if you try, sometimes you just might find, you get what you need!"