Post your best experiences of "sticking it to the man" here.

One time I didn't come to a complete stop at a stop sign. I just rolled up to it, looked both ways, and then hit the gas. It was exhilarating.

I miss my uncle Charles.

That phrase has a very singular connection for me. I was running in Central Park late at night, making up a missed team workout of a six-mile tempo run (one full loop of the road that circles CP). I started at about 12:40 a.m. When I was just past halfway, running south on the East Side, a cop car passed me going the other way. The guy lowered his window and said "The park is closed" as he passed. I put up a hand in a way that could mean anything and kept going, belatedly remembering that Central Park actually does close at 1:00 a.m.

I was thinking he'd just keep going, but he turned around somewhere, drove up from behind, and cruised alongside me as I ran semi-race pace. Fortyish white guy, not fat, not thin.

"I told you the park is closed."

"I'll be done in a few minutes."

"Leave the park at the next exit." (It was about 300 meters ahead. I was now running up the West Side, which is toward my apartment.)

"I'm just running home."

"Stop here and leave the park."

"Can't."

"Why can't you?"

"I'm timing this."

He dropped behind briefly, then roared up on my left and swerved his car to the right about ten meters in front of me, trying to cut me off. I jumped over the curb and kept going on a pedestrian lane next to the road. About three-quarters of a mile to go.

He started talking through his amplifier: "Stop now! Stop where you are!" I found it funny that there was nothing he could do to get over the curb. However, I knew that in about another 100 meters, the pedestrian lane was going to end. Before I got to that point, he sped up farther ahead and was stopping, maybe to get out of his car. I ran off the lane to its right, down a little embankment, and onto the dirt bridle path that runs up the whole west side of the park--and I actually crossed right under the road he was on. No way at all for him to follow. I cut through some grass and trees and reached another little asphalt walking path that led to my finish. When I had about 200 meters to go, another cop car screamed past on the road in the other direction, oblivious to me, heading toward where I'd last seen the first car. Backup! But I was done! I hid behind a tree, pulse about 200, and tried to listen closely. No cars. I ran behind a playground fence and out of the park, crossed Central Park West, and then nearly collapsed behind a wall next to an apartment lobby. After a while, I walked to my building and told the story to the late-night doorman, who used the phrase of the day: "That's stickin' it to the Man!"

I stuck it to the woman once.

Worked in the front offices of a major warehouse for approximately a year. As a programmer/analyst I did all sorts of things for the company. Ranging from hacking the old but still in use IBM machines all the way to an automated e-commerce platform on the web. I even administered the MS Exchange email server for approximately 45-50 employees. It was definitely a full stack experience and I was underpaid given what I was doing. But hey, sometimes a job is a job and you

take what you can get.

Before my time, applying monthly discounts to the inventory was a very tedious task for many years. Management was too cheap to hire someone in the past to automate the process and so each month a handful of the marketing team spent a M-F entering approximately 8000-10000 discounts into the system, 1-by-1, looking up the item numbers and entering through some green screens, Enter, Enter, Y, N, Y, (Y or N), Y, Date Start, Date End, ENTER, Enter. Discounts were entered at the end of every month to start on the 1st of the next month.

I came along and by month two had written programs to take care of this. Saved about 200 hours of work in the office compared to previous monthly cycles and could do so in a matter of minutes. Not to mention save the poor data entry personnel from the mundane experience. Actually when I did this, some of my co-workers took me out for dinner one night after work because they were so thankful.

Well, after solving many in-house enterprise problems like the one above, including building a much more powerful intranet that made sales and marketing teams much more efficient, I sat down with the owner of the company and very professionally cited reasons as to why I thought I deserved a raise that would put me at the salary amount she had promised me during the acceptance interview. Much to my surprise she claimed that she "wanted to pay me more" but "had not seen much progress". I re-affirmed what I had done to deserve the raise. She would not budge.

I applied for one job -- just one very attractive job on paper -- that had a much better starting salary offer and took an interview that Friday evening. I laid out screenshots and documented the specifics of what I had accomplished in the past year for my current company and they offered me the job on the spot. I graciously accepted.

Anyone who works in the wholesale industry knows that the 1st of the month is a hectic time period. There's the catalog, account renewals, big orders coming in and going out, etc. on top of the regular work flows such as sales, payroll and customer service. So I waited until the 14th of the month when my boss was away at a trade show for about ten days and put in my two weeks. Overall she would be gone for a 12-day period and probably not come back until the 13th day (the 27th). She had recently fired an integral part of the customer service department and left people behind in a terrible mess with the phones. Things were really hectic, phones were ringing off the hook, there were cat fights among ladies in the marketing and customer service departments because of the excess workload from the fired individual spilling over, etc.

By the time she realized I had put in my two weeks, we were already 12 days into that two week period. She called me one afternoon from California and begged. I mean begged. I was 1) offered a GM position, 2) offered a raise, 3) offered a bonus, 4) better insurance (insurance plan was very minimal there), etc. etc. etc. I told her that she should have thought about potentially losing me after she didn't live up to her end of the bargain when I first accepted the job and I crushed her by saying I had already accepted another job. "Well what are they offering you?" I replied, "Nearly twice as much as what you pay me." Then suddenly, she had to go and asked if she could call me later. She called back later, still in California, asked me if I could at least teach someone how to "do the discounts" before I leave. I replied to her, "I'm sorry, I can't teach the fundamentals of computer science to individuals not qualified to take on such a task." It really was a complicated process, but I knew what I was doing. There was no one else like me at the warehouse so I was being very honest with her. Then she had to end the conversation again and asked if she could call back. By this time I was annoyed. I spent the next 45 minutes packing my things, moving valuable files I had written to automate business processes on to a flash drive, I gathered my notes and binders, I erased my giant whiteboard (with very important information on it) and right before I left, I shut off the intranet.

When she returned the next day, Thursday the 27th, she realized I wasn't coming in. My office was empty and my things were gone. My personal phone rang and rang and rang. She begged, she pleaded with me in voice messages, she emailed me repeatedly.

To put the nail in the coffin, I remote desktop-ed into the Exchange Server and deleted my email address and purged the email history. I takes 3 full deletes at the Exchange server level to get rid of deleted emails. There's no doubt she emailed one last time and received the "email doesn't exist" server response.

The End.

I'm genuinely surprised nobody has made a post about buttfukkin a man yet

BUMP I thought this thread had a lot of potential.

Crete wrote:

I'm genuinely surprised nobody has made a post about buttfukkin a man yet

That would be incredibly juvenile.