Does anyone else think running may have f*** up their life?

take up golf my man, it will really drive you nutso. I FINALLY gave up the stupid game and started just walking in the woods .

i think i can one-up you...i WAITED til 35 to becaome obsessed. now it is 3 years later i have passed up many career opportunities and refused to date (i've never had a problem attracting women)because i don't want it to interfere with my 100-120 mile training weeks.

for now, i am running faster and faster and it is like a drug. lots of fun. but i wonder if i am gonna wake up pissed off and lonely in 5 years because of all things i'm NOT doing...it makes me depressed thinking about it sometimes, but i still feel compelled to soldier on with my training.

dmal wrote:

I have been a "die-hard" runner since I was 18 years old. I am now 35. Because of my dependence on running I have lost friends, jobs, a wife, physical health, and mental health. Running used to be a friend. Now, I feel depressed and lonely. Anyone else?

My advice to you is start drinking heavily.

Have been a runner for 33 years. Some things I wouldn't trade - but others have really set me up for a fall now in my later running years.

One thing nobody has mentioned is that there are many things that would have been screwed up WITHOUT RUNNING. Think about it: 35 yo male, divorced, lost job, few friends ... shit, that is a description for 90% of my friends. Except for the divorced part that IS ME TOO.

In other words, you may have had a similar life witout running. It may have been your personality and not so much the running.

Television ruined my life.

I always run what I feel...so if you feel lonely and depressed, run it. I love pounding my emotions into the ground.

dmal wrote:

I have been a "die-hard" runner since I was 18 years old. I am now 35. Because of my dependence on running I have lost friends, jobs, a wife, physical health, and mental health. Running used to be a friend. Now, I feel depressed and lonely. Anyone else?

You can't be good at something if you don't try hard. Unfortunately running does not put money in the bank except for just a handful of runners, so it is not justifiable to most people. On the other hand, most people are overweight slobs so...

my guess is that the good dr phil would say that running is only a symptom of something else not going right.

years ago, i would surf all day at work on forums like this, then leave early to go running. was happy to get away from it all and go back to grad school, where i had to get my run in for the day before my school work. i didnt focus on recruiting and interviews as much as i should have. then ended up unemployed for a year after graduating (though that was during the recession and i wasnt alone), during which time all i did was run.

i hated my job (but it paid well) and i hated grad school b/c of what i was studying (but it was a good degree to have). running didnt screw me up--it took my mind off of thinking about work and school. even if i had run less and focused more on work and school, i still would not have been better off, b/c ultimately, i wasnt doing what i wanted to.

perhaps you just werent really satisfied with your friends, wife, job. it's like the chicken and egg--did running cause you to screw up with your friends/wife/job/etc, or did your friends/wife/job/etc cause you to focus more on running?

While I am not Dan Gable I think we can learn a lesson or two from the greatest coach and wrestler of all-time.

Dan Gable worked tirelessly at wrestling everyday to become the absolute best. He was obsessed with the sport, working out eight hours a day, everyday in order to achieve his goal of becoming the best wrestler in the world. Some of his close friends referred to him as socially retarded because of his total focus on wrestling. He didn't care about who the president was, he didn't care about cars, all he cared about was wrestling and the results show it. He is wrestling.

On the ESPN Classic documentary, Gable said he finally took a girl out in college and they didn't get in until 3 a.m. and he had a running practice lined up for himself at 6 a.m. When he went out on the run he was tired and was dragging all day. That solidified in his mind something had to give. He certainly didn't give up wrestling.

Gable underwent hip replacement in 1997 at the age of 49 from all the years of grinding and sacrifice. But because of the grind he won the Olympics in 1972 without surrendering a single point and he won 15 NCAA titles in 21 years at the University of Iowa as head coach. Was it worth it? Only Dan can decide. Based on the number of lives he's touched I'm sure it was. It hasn't been worth it for others.

Gable is married and has four children so he has found some balance in his life. But Dan Gable's supernatural drive made him what he is today but he sacrificed several things along the way. Part of his drive came from personal tragedy when his sister was raped and murdered at the age of 19.

Like other posters have said, you can't blame running for your problems. It would be like a smoker saying cigarettes ruined my life. To say I'm lying in bed with lung cancer all because of cigarettes is wrong. You chose to smoke so you live with the consequences.

Or it's like getting in a bar fight and telling the cops it wasn't your fault. It may not have been, but you made the decision to go drinking every night so you are in a situation that's conducive to fighting. If you hadn't been at the bar you probably wouldn't have been in a bar fight. Everyone has decisions to make and you can't blame an activity or a substance for your problems.

This post is outstanding because it's reflective and real. I am in a situation where I am borderline obsessed with running, but it's a decision I've made. I truly love this sport.

Finally, I'll conclude with two of Dan Gable's favorite quotes, which I think apply to running.

"Once you've wrestled, everything else in life is easy."

"Wrestling isnt' for everyone...but it should be."

the best

Running is something you do, it's not who you are.

Put it down for as long as it takes to learn how to live happy without it. Then if and when you decide to come back you'll have a much better perspective on things and be a much better runner and person.

Patient: Doctor it hurts when I do this . . .

Doctor: Then don't do that.

Keep running.Some of the fat pricks that bagged me for running are now trying to save themselves from Diabetes,Heart problems,High blood pressure etc.and yes the wife shot thru after 27yrs.Best thing that ever happened to me.My running times improved and the bank balance improved so much I could run anywhere round the world.Met a new lady[top sort] and have been with her for 4 years.She doesn,t run but respects the fact that I do.Some guys get drunk everynight,some gamble and some should have married their mom.Having running as a habit is much preferable than some of the alternatives.My Ex wife complained about nothing getting done around the place.I worked 60hrs a week and ran about 12hrs.Soon as she left there was enough to pay someone to do the chores and I could work less hours and easily balance the books.Running wasn't the problem she was.

I've wondered the same thing many times. Am I just out here trying to relive "glory days", is this just me clutching to my youth with both hands? I've been running since I was 11 yrs old and I can say that it has always influenced my life. Mainly I think it has affected my job. I don't want a job that takes away too much time from running. I know I could do other things that make more money or have more prestigue, but my job allows me free weekends and free time to run.

I've always raced and the health benefits to running were really only secondary too me. I like being fit and trim, but honestly I am more motovated by a new PR than having a healthy heart. I think if I were "just a fitness runner" then I wouldn't be so compelled to run every day or do runs over six miles. Which means the running wouldn't really interfer in my life much at all. It's the competitive side of things that gets me into the compulsive behaviors.

Then I think this: I don't win races. No body pays me to run. I really am "just a fitness runner!" So why should I care if I miss a day or two or only run 40 miles in a week?

To original poster: Are you Don Malen? The bandit extraordinaire? Apologies if you are not, but I sense that there is more here than meets the eye.

moanfreare wrote:

don't run 12-15 miles per day when you're 16 years old...that'll ruin you. Gerry Lindgren is living proof...a hell of a runner in his time, but obviously has issues.

Gerry Lindgren's "issues" had a lot more to do with an alcoholic abusive father who hated him than with running. Running was his escape from his "issues"

Running has been great for my life, but feeling the need to check this site everyday hasn't been good.

haha well our site IS good for your life

I passed up a lot of good opportunities in college to continue being a college runner. But at the same time, I had some seriously good times doing it and made some very good friends, so I don't think it was a waste of time. It taught me a lot about myself and my life. Now that I'm out of it, I can still see a lot of those lessons are still coming to me.

I'll bet running was a great time for you when you were doing it. Maybe your jobs sucked because they really did suck. Maybe you and your wife weren't meant to be. There are a lot of what ifs you can ask yourself, but there is no answer to any of them because you are here and you are now, so there's no sense in trying to beat yourself over what already happened.

At 35, you can see there's a lot of living to do, and there is a beautiful life outside of running. You can take advantage of that still.