anyone have problems with girlfriend about running

I have gone through this before.

Try and get in your workout early in the morning. She has a point if you go for your long run every Saturday afternoon.

Try and let her know the positives (i.e. look better, feel better, good health, etc) exceed the benefits.

Try to not spend much time on other activities she might not be interested in (i.e. don't go running every Saturday morning then head right to the golf course).

The women I have dated (excluding the present girlfriend) didn't mind the running per se, but the fact that I was pretty uncompromising. You have to explain to her it is part of the package.

Either chicks get it or they don't. I had a girlfriend recently who started to whine about my running. I made no bones about the fact she came after running in all cases. That, and a couple other factors, led to our break-up. I'm super-glad that I didn't pull some shit like sacraficing something I've done for 10+ years for her bitchy ass.

maple leaf wrote:

I bring it up then she is quiet-but all guys know that pissed off quiet-its the same thing.

I hate that shit. Her next line is probably "I'm thinking"...right?

I used to live with my girlfriend, who was on my team, and a bunch of teammates. We were together for three years, lived together for about two, and she would always complain about me getting up at 6:30am every day. I was averaging between 85-90 miles per week between my morning and evening runs. At the time it didn’t bother me that I got and missed out on the morning sex, looking back I may I should have slept in maybe once a month.

This is what I did: I compromised like “bonedog” said and got up at 7:00 a.m. on Sundays and invited her to our strength workouts in the evening. The one thing that got me was she was complaining about my workouts when SHE was supposed to be there as well. Either way it doesn’t matter as we broke up.

This describes an old girlfriend of mine perfectly. Except I gave into her for a while and was miserable. Don't give in, because you'll honestly feel that something is missing from your life. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's the truth.

From my Father,"Women are like jobs, you can always get a better one!" Perhaps you should consider his words.

I just got kicked out by my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Running was mentioned. I thought I was going to marry her. Guess not! Good fuel for twin cities on sunday though. Fight emoptional pain with extreme phisical pain.

Ryan

If running is an important part of your life, then she should accept that. For many, it is part of who we are and hopefully it is one of the the reasons she finds you appealing. Aferall, it is a relatively positive endeavor. In my experience, a woman does not have to be a runner, but she does need to understand what I do. To put it another way, she should be passionate about something... athletics, music, maybe work, preferably not Jon Bon Jovi... Anyway, if one person has no passions, then they will probably not be able to understand those of the other person.

MSUalum wrote:

My girlfriend is a runner and ran in college with me and she still drills me about runnning. She always wants me to take days off or quit running. I do not know why she does not understand that I have set a huge goal for myself, and if it takes 90 minutes out of my day, everday, to achieve it, then it is worth it. Girls just don't understand desire.

wow, can you generalize a little bit more? there are many women that have and understand desire and mental toughness - of course we are able to withstand pain better than men. (hello... childbirth). i know many outstanding women runners who probably have, in their pinky, more desire than you.

ssanaeruoy wrote:

i know many outstanding women runners who probably have, in their pinky, more desire than you.

Nothing wrong with women who have desire in their pink parts.

I am a runner and my ex-husband used to complain about the time I spent running. It was something he didn't seem to mind while we were dating but when we got married it became a problem. I was averaging 50-55 miles/week so I was basically gone an hour a day. For goodness sake, everyone needs some time in the day to do their own thing! NEEDY CONTROL FREAK. But anyway, it all ended for a variety of reasons and I have since re-married to a wonderful guy who runs and bikes recreationally and totally supports my running. He is always there at the finish line and cheers me on. He is proud of me instead of mad at me for the time I spend running! I agree with the other posters that your girlfriend must have serious security issues and control issues - beware of control freaks! Runners are free spirits and don't work well with that.

One thing I must add is that it is still important that the one you care about be top priority. I try to have one day on the weekend when the whole morning is open for just us. I do my weekday runs mostly in the morning so we have the whole evening together as much as possible. If there's a family function or something that I know is coming up, I try to schedule that as my off day for the week so I don't have to sit there resentful that I missed my run. So compromise still happens but you should not be asked to change who you are. You're a runner! Can't change it. Even if you stopped, you'd just be a runner who doesn't run...no way to live! You'd just become resentful and that will cause problems in your relationship in some way or form soon enough.

Good luck!

"Girls just don't understand desire."

inappropriate generalization there MSUalum....just a littttttle rude to any girl out there with desire to also set huge goals and allot the time to achieve them.

I had a GF who wasn't a runner and didn't "get" why I ran so much. She looked smoking hot but was a former ballet dancer and really didn't run much. But I eventually talked her into coming along on some of my runs...while riding on her bike. It worked out pretty well, and she ended up pushing me to run harder when I was doing tempo efforts and that sort of thing. Once she felt included, she got more and more into my running. Might work out for you two a few days a week. A good way to talk through things when you feel like an easy day, a good way to have someone pump you up a bit when you are trying to hammer sub-5:30s.

a girl wrote:

"Girls just don't understand desire."

inappropriate generalization there MSUalum....just a littttttle rude to any girl out there with desire to also set huge goals and allot the time to achieve them.

I believe that my friend MSUalum was generalizing non-runner girls not necessarily girls. It came out looking bad, and i know that he didn't mean it that way.

If you've been straight from the start and devote the same time to running now as you did before you met her then she has no right to stop you. If things got more serious and you started to run 120 a week instead of 60 then you would probabaly have to discuss it with her.

But for now she should take you as she found you and if she can't hack it she's not the one for you anyway.

My girlfriend is a non-runner but supportive and I was clear from the start how things were going to be and if she didn't like it then tough. Harsh but fair.

I've run for 12 years now - she knew this and accepts it. She also knows what i'm like when I can't run for some reason....

I laughed my ass off when I read the desire in the pink parts.

I also laughed when I thought about how Women deserve to be beat by thier husbands

Hate to break it to you, pal, but this ain't about running. It's about control. If she wasn't on you about running, it would be something else. Running is just the excuse. She is trying to elevate her control over the two of you. Confront her with it, stake out your turf, let her know what you are and are not willing to compromise with her on, and let her make the decision to stay or go.

It's a power grab, plain and simple. Been through it many times with my wife, and we simply have to confront it and redraw our boundaries with each other. If you two can't talk about it, you're better off if she leaves. And soon.

have you and your wife fought over running in particular? How did it come about?

Jackhole Productions wrote:

...blah blah blah, contemplating her gash, blah blah blah...

You called it a "gash."