Some advice go on match.com and look for girls that you find attractive physically but also girls that have similar interests i.e. food, tv shows, hobbies, politics, religion etc. when you find one that fits the bill shoot her an email. Then when you go out you already have stuff in common and conversations should flow easier. Then the advice you should always follow when dealing with women spend far more time asking questions and listing to her answers than you spend talking about your self.
Drink 3 beers before you go on your dates. That will help you fake confidence. And I'm actually serious
a/s/l? miles run last year?
My buddy has had a lot of success with online dating, and he told me this...
"Meeting someone online is kind of awkward. So you have to joke around and act like it doesn't really matter to you if the date goes well or not."
It seems to me that you're nervous because you want the date to go well. But- lately the dates have not been successful. If you're all nervous because you want her to like you...well so what if she doesn't? So what if the date goes horribly? You're right back where you started- and that's not so bad. Start looking at these dates like you have nothing to lose.
You are probably bad at flirting. Flirt more, touch more.
You are:
-Average in looks
-Nervous on dates
-Going on dates in the first place (probably buying her dinner or some such)
-Looking for advice on a running website
Tells me that you need to hire a hooker and lose your virginity.
women are extremely shallow. they aren't looking for true love. they are either looking for a Ryan Gosling look alike, or a man with a lot of money.
better start making the dough my friend.
Just keep dating different girls. You only need 1
Try having your first "date" be a lunch. Takes a lot of the pressure off you both.
And come visit NYC sometime, or just relocate here. Man, if I could get action here, *anybody* can.
Dude, everyone gets caught up in their own situation. You want to feel better about yourself, then go walk around at a State Fair, or even better yet, a County Fair, and if you're really feeling down on yourself, go to a Monster Truck Show, and man I am NOT kidding. You will see TONS of "average" guys (and WELL BELOW average guys) walking around holding hands with some woman. Just keep on dating brother. You'll find her.
average_guy wrote:
I've seen a lot of dating advice on here, so I thought I'd throw out my situation as well.
Objectively speaking I am of just average looks, but in good shape since I run and lift. I've been on several dates with some girls, and I can tell they have a good time with me and laugh a lot... but they all say virtually the same thing to me if I call to ask them out again. That they think I'm a great guy, but they don't feel the 'spark'. Seriously, they literally all said spark.
I am almost positive they are talking about a physical attraction. I'm a successful guy and generally people seem to like my personality. Any hope for an average looking guy? Are there any women who don't make first impressions so superficially? I really had no idea that women were as shallow as men until I started dating again. It's just really discouraging to keep being rejected and it makes me want to stop trying.
Maybe try dating a girl you know a little bit already and you both enjoy the time you have with her. Like a girl on your team you might like, or a girl you know from some other activity. If you just getting to know someone on a first date that is probably going to be a bit more awkward than if it is a girl you know a little bit already.
My boyfriend is average looking, tall but very skinny. I don't usually find thin guys to be attractive. But on our first date, I felt a huge spark and couldn't wait to see him again. We've been together for 2.5 years. He's very smart, a great runner, and best of all he's hilarious and makes me laugh every day!
Does the average guy have a chance? DNA analysis shows that, over human history, 80% of women have reproduced, whereas only 40% of men have. This means that the average guy, Mr. 50%, has no chance.
average_guy wrote:
Ha, I hope that's not true. I relocated to Baltimore from the midwest. Maybe I'm having trouble adapting to Baltimore women. It's really hard to hit on the girls that are in the bars here, well for me it is anyway.
I live in Baltimore. Come out one night with me. I'll show you how it's done and you'll meet tons of girls. serious post.
Did you honestly feel a spark with all of these women? Maybe you need to do some searching within yourself to see what you are looking for so that you aren't so surprised when a woman rejects you romantically. Be picky...Who do you want to end up with for, potentially, years? I'm guessing you're just trying to take what you can get.
I am a good-looking guy from a wealthy family. I have a lot of money and a great job. I am not very materialistic, but I enjoy nice things. I am married to a beautiful woman and have two perfect children. I am in my mid thirties.
In my college and post-college days, I had a really hard time dating. Actually, I enjoyed dating, but I hated the singles scene. Some guys love it. I didn't. I went on lots of dates, but they never seemed right. It was always forced and I just didn't "do" it right.
It wasn't that I wasn't confident. I have always had confidence, but I just didn't show it in a way that connected with women at bars and clubs. I still hate bars and clubs that are singles scenes. The meat-market vibe is horrible and most of the girls are sluts.
At 26, I met my wife (then 24) on a Habitat 4 Humanity build. No shit. Neither of us are super religious or anything, we just happened to be there. I was doing it b/c my dad had always helped with Habitat. She was there for some Young Professionals thing that a friend had talked her into doing.
We were working on a wall-build together and just happened to start talking about how hot is was outside. 2 hours later, we were having some water at the cooler and I asked her if she wanted to go grab lunch. She agreed and at lunch we started talking about this coffee shop/bar in town and decided to go there that night to see if a band was playing. I told her I would pick her up. No band was playing, but we stayed, ordered a few beers and talked about a lot of things. We found out we had mutual friends, joked around, etc. I took her home, kissed her and said goodnight.
The next day she called me and thanked me for a good time. I invited her over for dinner, she came and the rest is history.
Sometimes you just need to find your element. I would have never guessed that my element was a Habitat 4 Humanity build, but it just ended up being somewhere that I was totally comfortable. Maybe you should put the online stuff on hold. I would imagine that the expectations with online dating add a tremendous amount of sress to the process.
Spend some time joining organizations with young people. Once there, make yourself known. No one wants to date the quiet guy in the back of the room.
Good luck man, I know it is stressful.
Looks are mostly about health, so there are tons of things you can do for that (although none really short term), you can work out and look stronger, eat healthier, take vitamins, use skin products, smell better with perfume (although this one doesn't fit into the more healthy or looks category but I mention it because I am naturally very smelly so it is a must for me). You don't have to go to a gym to workout, but if you do 100 push ups a day, it'll make a difference. Plus if you make time for all the little things in grooming, you can make yourself look more attractive. Women go to great lengths with make-up, clothing, etc. because they know they can make themselves look more attractive, it is foolish to think (without trying) that men can't do the same.
As for game, it is essentially be assertive/aggressive (which ever word you prefer), confident/aloof and interesting. Girls don't want an average guy, they want a guy who is special. A lot of being special is going to be phrasing what you do in a more positive light. For example if they ask about your hobbies instead of saying that I like to run, say that I am training to win a *insert specific local race*. This way they think you are an elite runner instead of some hobby jogger who is trying to keep from gaining the pounds. Do you see the difference? p.s. computers games are never interesting even if you are REALLY REALLY GOOD at them.
ashd wrote:
Hey OP.
I'm below-average in the face department (21 y.o. female), but with a pretty attractive and unique body type (tall, slim). My face is uncute, so despite my efforts at being a funny and interesting person, most guys aren't into the idea of dating me. Butterfaces are for one-night stands, right?
It's a tough world.
But speaking of "spark"... It does occur for some people, but I know several couples who cultivated that attraction over a longer period of time. And for some, companionship is more important than butterflies in your stomach. I would be happy dating and/or marrying a man I simply liked and respected. Not advocating arranged marriages, but those tend to warm up as they progress, whereas our passion-based "Western" marriages often cool with time.
Since most girls are after the "spark" element, I second the notion of confidence-building. Work on that art of manliness stuff, most girls find it sexy.
Hey ashd, that you would reply so thoughtfully/helpfully to this guy tells me your looks are a lot more than skin deep.
Hey, just wear a black leather jacket on the date and everything will be ok !
Reg wrote:
Hey ashd, that you would reply so thoughtfully/helpfully to this guy tells me your looks are a lot more than skin deep.
Are you calling her a bitch? She said she was below-average in the looks department. Are you implying that her below-average looks are more than skin deep?
WTF? are you insulting her or flirting with her?