How to tell a girlfriend she can't run with you?

The bike idea mentioned is good. i used to have my boyfriend ride along with me on long runs. he'd carry a few gatorades. it was great and nice to be able to include him in what i love to do. So, unless she's just really annoying, let her tag along in some way.

on the other hand, i had another boyfriend that had decided not to run with me because i'm too fast and he's a lazy ass. he could've been something great but he just takes the easy route out of anything. amazing runner that will never reach his potential...and was at one time my best running partner.

running/riding together keeps things good.

80-90 MPW and only running 16's and 2:50ish? Obviously you are doing something wrong, meaning some easy miles with the girl may not hurt you.

IMHO, 80-90 mpw, if done right, you should worst case be < 15:30, and definitely under 2:45.

The bike idea is a good one only if you're comfortable with acknowledging that things you used to do on your own will always become things you do together. Until you crack. Your problem doesn't have anything to do with running--it's an issue of how you spend your time. I would hate to have anyone biking along beside me while I run. It's something I do alone and I like it that way. If that's the case for you, too, then you need simply to tell her that straight out. She should respect that and you can look for other ways for you two to do fun things together.

Not fast, but faster than her wrote:

All of a sudden though, my girlfriend (not a runner beyond just a hobbyjogger) starts complaining that I'm not spending anytime with her, all I care about is running, and I need to either cut "waaaaay back" or let her come along with me.

I was in a similar situation about three months ago, except I was in a DoD lab 24/7 and she was complaining about that. . . So there was absolutely no chance that she could "come along with me."

I simply said:

I'm a bit weird; I'm obsessed with my research; I honestly believe I'm going to save the world some day; I know that you understand me - not many do - and that's why I'm dating you.

There's no way that she can turn that down without being seen as a horrible person. So, if you say something similar and she turns that down, she's a horrible person to be with anyway.

Plan some out and back runs and stay with her for a mile or so. You will also meet up with her on the way back.

Bike wrote:

The suggestion for her to bike is a good one. It also sounds like she's insecure about your relationship, probably because you've been together for a while and she's worried that you're never going to pop the question. (I'm a girl, trust me, I'm probably right.)

But seriously, "I'm not that fast, only a 2:50 marathon"...OMFG that's like saying "I'm not very wealthy, I only own a few Rolls Royces"

A 2:50 is not a few Rolls Royces, its at best a single BMW.

No Way wrote:

A 2:50 is not a few Rolls Royces, its at best a single BMW.

2:50 is the 2001 Seattle Mariners. Really good at first, but a little bit like premature ejaculation.

get her to ride a bike next to you. I've done it before. also good if you can't afford a garmin to tell your pace. just get a counter for each full rotation and it will count out each mile, plus she could carry water, a wet towl, etc.

zip zero nada wrote:

80-90 MPW and only running 16's and 2:50ish? Obviously you are doing something wrong, meaning some easy miles with the girl may not hurt you.

IMHO, 80-90 mpw, if done right, you should worst case be < 15:30, and definitely under 2:45.

The dude said he had very little talent. It may be the same reason you don't run a 13:12 or a 2:07.

Mr. Battery wrote:

get her to ride a bike next to you. I've done it before. also good if you can't afford a garmin to tell your pace. just get a counter for each full rotation and it will count out each mile, plus she could carry water, a wet towl, etc.

I doubt very much that this girl wants to be the OP's caddy. He needs a new girlfriend who likes to work out, along with the guy who's going on a national park adventure vacation with a girlfriend who hates hiking.

Why are so many Letsrunners sidled with couch potato girlfriends?

It sux that she's so freakin' selfish that she doesn't want to let you train to your ability. My husband runs with me about half the time (we both do ~60-70 mpw). Our race times are about 45 seconds/mile apart, and I would NEVER expect him to slow down for me for all our runs. I hate that he slows down for me so often, but we do enjoy running together. I appreciate that he is willing to run my pace for half of his mileage! My runs with him make me faster. His runs with me are just added mileage for his training (junk miles, but helpful for increasing total mileage).

I hope she stops being so selfish and demanding. I agree with whoever said you should just run a little faster and longer than she wants to, about 10 times in a row, and maybe she'll let you run by yourself some!

Good luck with little miss all-about-me girl.

Your girl is painfully selfish. Either tell her to ride next to you because her pace is much slower, or just tell her she can't run with you. If she can't understand you need some activity to call your own, just dump her, as it is indicative of a much deeper problem that she has in relationships.

Okay, okay, here's what you do. Let her go run with you. Then, run her off her feet! You have to do it right though - don't bust a five-minute mile and drop her ass - just ramp the pace up to a point where she can just BARELY hang on, and let her keep up. Don't let her stop though - if she wants to take a break, fine, but just keep her going and going and going until her veins pump battery acid, her legs turn to concrete and she's ready to puke. Make sure to make it apparent that you are not even remotely taxed by the pace - breathe with your mouth closed, talk incessantly about what a beautiful day it is, etc.

Then, when you're done, say in a really bright, cheery voice, "Gee, honey, that was neat! We should do this more often!" She will be horrified by the prospect of experiencing this level of suffering on any sort of regular basis, and will politely decline.

With this strategy, you will get a triple payoff:

1) She will be pleased that you let her run with you

2) She will think you are a total bad-ass

3) She will NEVER want to run with you again.

Good luck, and may God have mercy on that poor girl.

Two full pages, really? Seemed obvious to me but nice job. 7/10

Can't beleive this thread has gone on this long and nobody has asked for pics yet!

What pace does she run?

ming ding xiong wrote:

My PBs are not that much slower than yours (5k 17:44).

He said mid 16s for 5k. 17:44 is significantly slower for 5k. That's like saying my PR of 14:36 is not that much slower than Ryan Hall's PR of 13:16.

Huh? wrote:

He said mid 16s for 5k. 17:44 is significantly slower for 5k. That's like saying my PR of 14:36 is not that much slower than Ryan Hall's PR of 13:16.

It's a minute. It's not that much slower. Obviously minutes get more significant as you get faster, or you'd be telling someone who ran 32 minutes that someone who ran 31 minutes is like Ryan Hall to them. Someone who ran 16:30 is not that much faster than 17:44, especially when the former hasn't run in six months.

I'll maintain that anyone running 16:30 wouldn't be destroyed by running a few miles a few times a week at 10:00 pace.

Numb Nutz wrote:

Seriously, do doubles. Run a few miles in the morning with her, then do your workout or another 10 in the evening ( or the reverse) on your own. Simple, everyone's happy

Yeah, this is definitely going to work. I got a strong sense from him that she would love to get up at 6:00 AM and run 4 miles every morning. Because that has been her pattern so far? Also, this sounds like EXACTLY the kind of thing she was talking about when she told him they needed to spend more time together.

I hope you were joking.

To the OP: if yo really do want to improve, then follow this guy's advice anyway. 4 miles in the AM will really improve you, and you will be able to get rid of this nagging bitch also. You won't have to be known as the "guy that chose running over her" either. Just keep running and she will be forced to make the choice.

I wouldn't do it that way though. You just need to sit down and tell her how it is.