Is he a mong? You could give him that other bit to hold. He probably wont know the difference.
Is he a mong? You could give him that other bit to hold. He probably wont know the difference.
Ask him if he would be cool with someone else insisting on holding his child before him. Then mention doggie being your fave. Unless, of course, it isn't. No need to lie about that.
not who you think wrote:
I really want to be the first person to hold my son, but my father in law insists that he be the first to hold him. I don't have a problem with him or anything, it just bothers me that he would want to take that away from me. Am I being selfish? If not, should I tell him I want to be the first without hurting his feelings?
It's probably best to have it be the doctor.
Is he a Catholic Priest?
2/10 wrote:
Is he a mong? You could give him that other bit to hold. He probably wont know the difference.
WTF.
This isn't a real issue because he won't be in the operating room. Hence, there is no reason right to raise anger with your father in law and anxiety for your woman. The FIL will see his place soon enough as he waits outside during the birth and he will be happy and all will be well. But what you do need to make certain about is what you can do in the operating room. I assumed wrongly that I would be allowed to watch my daughter be brought into this world (c section), because two of my friends had no problems watching their wives give birth just before that, but in fact when I stood up to watch the prick of a doctor refused to continue the operation until I sat down! Unf***ingbelievable. She did ruin what would have been the best moment of my life. (I told her off later but I did not want to make a scene and ruin my woman's time as well). In truth, I couldn't have seen squat until they lifted the baby up at the end, because there is a tiny patch of uncovered skin surrounded by cloth and covered with hands and equipment, so I was going to sit down again until the very end anyway. The f***ing incompetent dumbass of an anaesthesiologist also was a prick when I informed her that my woman's vital signs were getting very low during the operation ("are you a doctor?" she asked), but fortunately a beeper on the blood pressure machine went off right after and the lazy ass was forced to do something about the very low blood pressure. Anyway, talk to the doc beforehand about the arrangements. And then also be sure to get a plan for what they are going to do with the baby (visitation, allowing it to sleep in the room with your wife, etc.) in the days after the operation. You wouldn't believe how unnecessarily controlling hospital personnel are, so work this stuff out in advance.
jjjjjjjjjjjj wrote:
This isn't a real issue because he won't be in the operating room.
This depends on the doctor and the hospital, among all my friends I don't know a father who wasn't in the room when his child was born, and I also know many mothers of the mother who were in the room as well. So it is very possible that the OP's father-in-law will be allowed in the delivery room, The request by your father-in-law is ridiculous and inconsiderate. Tell him no way, but politely.
dont tell him what hospital you'll be at
jjjjjjjjjjjj wrote:
This isn't a real issue because he won't be in the operating room. Hence, there is no reason right to raise anger with your father in law and anxiety for your woman. The FIL will see his place soon enough as he waits outside during the birth and he will be happy and all will be well. But what you do need to make certain about is what you can do in the operating room. I assumed wrongly that I would be allowed to watch my daughter be brought into this world (c section), because two of my friends had no problems watching their wives give birth just before that, but in fact when I stood up to watch the prick of a doctor refused to continue the operation until I sat down! Unf***ingbelievable. She did ruin what would have been the best moment of my life. (I told her off later but I did not want to make a scene and ruin my woman's time as well). In truth, I couldn't have seen squat until they lifted the baby up at the end, because there is a tiny patch of uncovered skin surrounded by cloth and covered with hands and equipment, so I was going to sit down again until the very end anyway. The f***ing incompetent dumbass of an anaesthesiologist also was a prick when I informed her that my woman's vital signs were getting very low during the operation ("are you a doctor?" she asked), but fortunately a beeper on the blood pressure machine went off right after and the lazy ass was forced to do something about the very low blood pressure. Anyway, talk to the doc beforehand about the arrangements. And then also be sure to get a plan for what they are going to do with the baby (visitation, allowing it to sleep in the room with your wife, etc.) in the days after the operation. You wouldn't believe how unnecessarily controlling hospital personnel are, so work this stuff out in advance.
To the fathers and mothers to be who saw the above without ever having been there: this is really atypical. He either is a really intrusive abrasive guy in person (i.e. "that guy") or he is really bad at picking doctors (i.e. hiring "that guy"). Either way, he tells the story that it's everyone else's fault. We had three different doctors at three different hospitals in three different cities. All were beautiful experiences, not always easy, but beautiful and the doctors and staff were great each time. In my experience in many phases of life, jerks bring out the jerk in others. Be respectful and don't show up sick, dirty, or unstable and they will be great to you.
I say no. It seems crazy to even ask. Tell him how much it means to you. If you let him it seems he will expect more later. You are the dad and make the rules for your child.
Tell him you weren't the first person to bang his daughter and you are not crying about it.
ah, yes, you have had 3 nice doctors and therefore all doctors are nice. The way I tell the story, two of my friends had nice doctors and I did not. In fact, I did not, of course, choose the doctor, since that is the woman's decision, and the doctor seemed quite professional the one time that we met her prior to surgery. If you did any research, you would see that problems with hospitals during the process are extremely common and that you need to work it out with your doctor (hers said nothing prior) in advance. People in fact often have an intermediary specializing in setting up these arrangements.
Smelly wrote:
Tell him you weren't the first person to bang his daughter and you are not crying about it.
Man, that was Golden......use that on him and I will send you 100 bucks!
Also, has this dude heard of Oedipus (and/or Cupid-Psyche)? It's kinda creepy that he's this into his daughter's private reproductive life; you gotta let go of the kids when they get married, man.
I agree with those who are saying that this is a crazy thing for him to ask in the first place. This is like watching your son win the state championship and meeting him at the finish line to ask, "hey, mind if I wear the medal first? I'll give it to you when I'm done, but I'd like them to give the thing to me at the podium."
10/10
FIL sounds like a creep. tell him he can hold the baby first, but it will be the last time he ever holds or sees the kid again. he'll see the light.
Tell him to get a dvd copy of Everybody Loves Raymond and shove it where the sun don't shine
Take the doctor to the side, explain the issue to him/her, and just have the doctor request that only you can be with your wife during the birthing process.
My wife wanted her mom next to her during the delivery. She even told the doctor. The doctor kindly dodged the request. Later, the doctor asked how I felt about that and that she could clear the room if needed. Turns out, my wife needed a C-section so nobody, other than me, was allowed in the room anyway.
Doctors orders!
jjjjjjjjjjjj wrote:
This isn't a real issue because he won't be in the operating room. Hence, there is no reason right to raise anger with your father in law and anxiety for your woman. The FIL will see his place soon enough as he waits outside during the birth and he will be happy and all will be well. But what you do need to make certain about is what you can do in the operating room. I assumed wrongly that I would be allowed to watch my daughter be brought into this world (c section), because two of my friends had no problems watching their wives give birth just before that, but in fact when I stood up to watch the prick of a doctor refused to continue the operation until I sat down! Unf***ingbelievable. She did ruin what would have been the best moment of my life. (I told her off later but I did not want to make a scene and ruin my woman's time as well). In truth, I couldn't have seen squat until they lifted the baby up at the end, because there is a tiny patch of uncovered skin surrounded by cloth and covered with hands and equipment, so I was going to sit down again until the very end anyway. The f***ing incompetent dumbass of an anaesthesiologist also was a prick when I informed her that my woman's vital signs were getting very low during the operation ("are you a doctor?" she asked), but fortunately a beeper on the blood pressure machine went off right after and the lazy ass was forced to do something about the very low blood pressure. Anyway, talk to the doc beforehand about the arrangements. And then also be sure to get a plan for what they are going to do with the baby (visitation, allowing it to sleep in the room with your wife, etc.) in the days after the operation. You wouldn't believe how unnecessarily controlling hospital personnel are, so work this stuff out in advance.
You sound really weird. I bet you are a freaking crazy man. Were you really being confrontational with the doctors as they were operating on your wife? WTF?
Your job is to sit your ass down, calm your wife and let them do their job.