To all Masters Runners desperately hanging on to the dream...Good luck at your Turkey Trots!!

ExCoastRanger wrote:

...come with any additional discounts, coupons or special deals?

ExCoastRanger, I'd check on the twighlight special, you have to order between 4:30 and 6:00pm, but that fits in with the rest of our schedule nicely and on a Sunday gets us home for 60 minutes.

Damn, Tony you beat me to the punch - I thought it was a "to do" list for turkey day. Only I like really short running shorts rather than spandex.

Nice post. I wonder if the OP is SoCal.

Newbie Master - Definitely post of the year. I'm still laughing.

I hear ye on the 40min warmup.

Newbie Master wrote:

And when I am 100 meters from the finish line I'll pull out my 40 year old rod and sac and scream, "GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERF**KERS!"

That never gets hold, well played sir.

no warmup. no tights. no watch. no garmin. no headband. just singlet, shorts, and sit and kick on whatever motherfker's out there.

unless they have any talent, but the collegians are usually too embarrassed to do a turkey trot and the high schoolers almost always suck.

and take my chintzy trophy or medal and give it to my two year daughter, who loves that kind of thing.

check would be nice. but they don't give checks at any race i'm competitive in.

Newbie master, only twice in my life have I laughed so hard that I cried. You are the second. My wife thought I was having a heart attack. thanks for the laugh.

As for the first time...My brother-in-law and I were at a track meet and an overweight (cottage cheese overweight)girl in a jog bra and spandex ran by. I asked him if he saw that. He replied, "yes, then I stared directly into the sun."

first race in over 3 years coming up this weekend - 10 miler that I ran numerous times in the 80's and 90's but haven't been to in over 10 years. somehow don't think a 52 minute finish is in my future; I'll be happy with 62. 62? who am I kidding? I'll be happy to just to finish without passing out due to the Cramergisic fumes or OD'ing on the Advil. but, if I am lucky enough to finish, I'll slide up the bifocals and start searching for the rod (no doubt in hiding due to lack of wifely attention) and give all the HS and college wannabe's something to gobble on.

Young, Vigorous, and... wrote:

May you wake early to stretch those creaky joints

May you have a brisk 40 minute warm up to get your heart rate over 115

May you be filled with visions of your glory days as you elbow your way past those teenagers in the first 800 meters

May your spectacles stay put for the entire race

May you NOT wear spandex tights near your kids

May you NOT wear your age group medal after the race

May you save the $25 gift certificate to the Country Bumpkin Kitchen for a special night with Mrs. "Masters runner Still Hanging On to the Dream"

No stretching here. I can't even stay with the 10 year olds for the first 200 meters. Never wore glasses. Never wore spandex. (Rocking the BR split short) Proudly wear AG medal to car. Love to get food of any kind after the race.

You were right about the warmup though. I don't even think about running fast until I have run 4 miles.

it was hot tea for meLOLgreat post to close 2009 season (evev without turkeys here)

dotato wrote:

Newbie Master wrote:

And when I am 100 meters from the finish line I'll pull out my 40 year old rod and sac and scream, "GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERF**KERS!"

lol. i just spit powerade at the screen...

May you save the $25 gift certificate to the Country Bumpkin Kitchen for a special night with Mrs. "Masters runner Still Hanging On to the Dream"[/quote]

With the senior discount, we get a second dessert on that certificate. Sucks to be you.

Newbie Master wrote:

And when I am 100 meters from the finish line I'll pull out my 40 year old rod and sac and scream, "GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERF**KERS!"

Am I the only one who didn't think this was that funny? Of course, it could be the disparity in IQ, as I sometimes find the pedestrian mind laughs at inanity. It was mildly amusing, but I guess to smarter people it wasn't particularly funny. No offense, newbie master, you ostensibly amused the dimwits...

claurence wrote:

Newbie Master wrote:

And when I am 100 meters from the finish line I'll pull out my 40 year old rod and sac and scream, "GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERF**KERS!"

Am I the only one who didn't think this was that funny? Of course, it could be the disparity in IQ, as I sometimes find the pedestrian mind laughs at inanity. It was mildly amusing, but I guess to smarter people it wasn't particularly funny. No offense, newbie master, you ostensibly amused the dimwits...

I second.

If you're confused why some thought Newbie Master's post was funny, it's not dementia; do a search for the phrase "gobble gobble" and you'll unearth some letsrun treasures

Oh all you brother and sister 50+ year olders are making me jealous!

The original poster forgot about a remark about about old age and "arthur"..

I have it so bad in my hips that it makes my left leg weak..

My wife has brain cancer and the stress was nearly killing me last night so after it got dark, so nobody could see me, I put ona knee brace and ran around the block..

First time in a long time.

Wouldn't you know it, ran into a yard full of kids in a lit up side yeard kicking a soccer ball around.

When they saw me coming, they all stopped and had these horrible looks of pity in their eyes.

Never mind elbowing anybody out of anyway at any race! (for now anyway)

Young, Vigorous, and... wrote:

May you wake early to stretch those creaky joints

May you have a brisk 40 minute warm up to get your heart rate over 115

May you be filled with visions of your glory days as you elbow your way past those teenagers in the first 800 meters

May your spectacles stay put for the entire race

May you NOT wear spandex tights near your kids

May you NOT wear your age group medal after the race

May you save the $25 gift certificate to the Country Bumpkin Kitchen for a special night with Mrs. "Masters runner Still Hanging On to the Dream"

I hope, when you're 54, you have the longevity and wisdom to find humor in similar comments you're bound to hear from the young 'uns..

Really, I wish you well and many, many good years of running. I'm grateful that I can still do it (albeit not as fast as 30 years ago).

To fill in the and for the original poster. ;)

Young, Vigorous, and... STUPID!

Young, Vigorous, and... POOR!

Young, Vigorous, and... JERKIN IT!

Young, Vigorous, and... GROWING OLD!

Young, Vigorous, and... DRIVING A SHITBOX!

Young, Vigorous, and... LAZY!

Hard to resist the Turkey Trot bait here. I'll be running my 47th in a row Thursday. I won't attempt to describe how these streaks get under one's skin, but they certainly do. I can relate to most of the original poster's observations. I'll add that I run the second, uphill mile 75 seconds slower than the first mile (pitiful, in other words) and that I regularly get passed by h.s. boys wearing grass skirts.

Still, I wouldn't trade this day for any other in the year. I've been running long enough that I've stopped apologizing about it. It's not the only thing that I am, but it's a big part of who I am, and I'm okay with that. I'd rather be slow, graying me than a lot of other people and a lot of other things.

The Why Race? question is interesting. It's not required after all. I can be a runner without being a racer. My wife is always advising me to be "more moderate in all things." And she's smart, this is good advice.

But you know what? A person can get too much of this moderate stuff. Who wants to live a life that's always safe, controlled, aiming for the middle path?

Every once in a while I still want to feel the burn. To push to the limit. To be near collapse when I cross the finish line. Sure, I already know the result: It will be shown that I'm older and slower than I was yesterday and the day before that. I don't need a race to tell me these things.

But a race says I'm not ready to surrender. It says I'm going to keep struggling to squeeze all I can out of this life. It says I'm not checking out of here until I've given it my all. Yes, I know I'm gonna die some day.

But I have a good feeling about tomorrow's race.

49 year master of none wrote:

[

And when I am 100 meters from the finish line I'll pull out my 40 year old rod and sac and scream, "GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERF**KERS!"

Am I the only one who didn't think this was that funny? Of course, it could be the disparity in IQ, as I sometimes find the pedestrian mind laughs at inanity. It was mildly amusing, but I guess to smarter people it wasn't particularly funny. No offense, newbie master, you ostensibly amused the dimwits...[/quote]

I second.[/quote]

This is a reference to a thread from last year. It's an inside joke. One that you wouldn't find funny either.