You seem to have forgotten this classic movie:
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Woof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.
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[after sex with The Monster]
Elizabeth:
Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag.
YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.
Me too. "Put the Candle Back"
I grew up listening to this stuff.
The 2000 Year Old Man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB2S4hzYdAk
Love that Carl Reiner too! Most of my other Mel Brooks favorites have already been posted.
Monty Python has better scenes, but Brooks has great lines. May not be the best, but I'll go with the final line in "Young Frankenstein," "Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I found you."
The whole scene when Dr. Frankenstein's fiance is first arriving at the castle.
"Igor, will you help me with these bags?"
"Sure, you take the blond, and I'll take the one in the turban!"
I like the scene where the new sheriff of rock ridge asks the KKK members "where's all the white women??
Criminal: Rape, Murder, Burglary, Arson, Rape
You said rape twice?
Criminal: I like rape