Eastizzle: Sizzle my dizzle, bizzle.
Eastizzle: Sizzle my dizzle, bizzle.
The spit works great!! I used this last night, even. While doing a leisurely 7 miler aboout 5;30 PM just after the sun went down, going thru a decent enought neighborhood, a group of teens, about 3 girls and 2 guys were hanging out on the sidewalk ( I was on the road.). they started laughing and whispering under their breath as soon as I was within earshot. One guy says loudly to one of the girls "you know you want him, go get that skinny ass!!". the girl then moans like a fake orgasm and says "can I pick you up here at about 7 honey?" the others laugh. this was an out and back course so I had time to think. when I got back to where they were before, now they were all hanging out in the street, I heard one say "here he comes, here he comes". they were all sort of standing around and as soon as I was within range I blew out the nastiest lunger you could imagine, about a foot away from one of the girls. didn't say anything, just looked em in the eye. they said nothing, just walked off. I had a smile on my face all the way home.
Don't turn your head or show emotion, give a simple finger while in stride and keep on going. Simple and sweet.
If someone bugs you, why not yell back "hey, I'll dance on your grave after your fatal heart attack, then I'll console your wife, if you catch my drift."
My team runs down this touristy street almost every day en route to various runs of ours. The street is about a mile long and we get yelled at almost everyday by the tourists. so we have plenty of practice at comebacks, even if we think of them a mile down the road, we know it's coming again the next day. so mine goes like this. we run by a group of people and some guys yells something generic out like "nice shorts, put a shirt on"...etc. we pass right by and keep running and i think to myself, i'm not letting this guy get the best of this interaction. so i go back and say "excuse me sir, how long is this street?" he looks confused and says "excuse me?". "how long is this street?" i repeat. he says, "maybe a mile?" i say, "yeah, just about my guess too...you know, you could see me coming for probably about a half mile, and at our pace, that's roughly three minutes". the guy looks utterly confused and is getting annoyed, so i speed my argument up and say "so in the 3 minutes you had before we got here, the best thing that you could think up was 'hey...nice shorts'?...that is pathetic, you have just reassured my assumption about your intelligence which is pretty low i might add...thank you and try again some other time moron"
needless to say, he was stumped and speechless. i smiled and continued on
Most of these retorts are way too long...
We run by a high school almost every day and they are getting out of school while we go by and they always hell stuff at us and usally we just run by and dont say anything...so one day things escalate while the high schoolers try to blockade the road we run on...well we just ran right through and broke it like in red rover...they helled at us and threw rocks but by that time we were long out of range...about a week later a friend decideds he is going to try to mend things between us runners and these high school kids so he buys a package of "Smarties Candies" and throws them at the kids as treats...it was pure chaos and they just yelled all the more...the relationships between runners and non-runners will never mend so we might as well not try to mend and just yell back stupid comments...
I liked the one about BJ and also the whip out your junk and the one about pebbles and at band camp there was this bear and this boy had some cookies. . . . . .
I ran past 2 guys and 2 girls this one time, one of the girls was a little overweight (not a lot though...). The chubby girl decided to be cool and started to mock me running - so I responded - "It looks like you could use a couples miles yourself." She didn't say much after that.
stupid chubby girls.
i carry a .44 and shoot 'em in the crotch, laugh, and run away. i've never been caught either.
Okay I have a question for all you guys... being that I am a girl i never get the pussy, fag remarks I get whistled at or nice ass, legs, etc. it happens daily and at first it was flattering. then it was just something that happened but now it's beginning to get annoying, what can I say(do)??
I agree with the mother comments. The little Jr. High boys don't like it when you talk about their momma.
Most comments insulting anything relating to your sexuality warrant this nice response:
"Thanks for noticing."
E.g.:
NICE SHORTS, FAG!
(say back) Thanks for noticing!
There is bit in Marty Liquori's book about Barry Brown breaking a fat construction workers tooth and punching him in the beer gut for emphasis.
I never get negative comments but I don't wear tights or shorts on the small side. Plus I'm a little bigger than the average "runner".
Once a girl screamed, "Nice legs! You can suck on my breasts anytime!". "Uh, how about right now?", I riposted. Pretty smooth eh?
my story is from sophomore year in HS... i was running down by a park in town and a car came speeding about 50 in the 15 mph zone, and was about 2 inches from clipping me without even sounding a horn. i proceeded to yell WHAT THE FUCK! and they honked and flipped me off, said "GET OUT OF THE ROAD" i picked up a large, large stone near the stop sign they were at, and dropped in on the hood of their lexus. they chased me into the woods- and my guess is they won't ever do it again. suckers
One time I was running through a park with a friend when this one rather big guy walking with his girlfriend stared me down. I gave him the finger and a smile and kept running. Once we got a ways away we noticed he was running toward us and yelling. My friend stopped, turned around, and proceeded to yell "YOU SUCK AT LIFE! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS AN UGLY SLUT" then did a demented laugh. We kept running on the path we were on, giggling to ourselves, then I looked back and saw the guy was running toward his truck. We saw him hop in and it was then we knew this isn't the last we would see of him. As we got further down the path, we heard restling in the brushed wooded area. I looked at my friend as if to say we have trouble, and then the guy jumped out of the woods, leather jacket and all, and yelled "u fags wanna go?" My friend stopped in his tracks, turned around... with just enough distance in between to run away if needed, and started talking shit again. "Where's your slut girlfriend? God, if I were you I'd just shoot myself in the face because you're worthless and will amount to nothing. FUCK YOU!!" He then began skipping away, laughing hysterically in a mocking fashion, as I stood a little ways back laughing my ass off. He caught up to me, said "WE need to get out of here now" having seen the guys buddies had began coming onto the trail as well, and we took off sprinting onto a near by golf course, into safety. GREAT TIMES.
I once had some kids throw snowballs at me and i stopped and threw snow balls back and nailed the fat kid pretty good.
When I was first at college in London (Boro Rd) we were running out of Richmond Park and down Richmond Hill. We ran in front of a car and the guy starts shouting, drives a 100 yrds down the road and pulls onto the sidewalk and winds down the window right where we had to run. We run on (there was a pretty big group of 10 or 12) and a couple of the older guys led by Dave Clarke stop and are yelling at the guy. He is yelling back when Clarky leans into the guys car and takes the key out of the ignition before the guy knows what he's doing. Clarky yells Fuck you. We run about 50 yds further down Richmond Hill and Clark throws the guys keys into the Thames! I had been in college about 2 weeks. I could n't beleive the whole thing! Although Clarky was tame compared to running with Bedford!
Some of these things amaze me. I don't think some of you need better retorts, I think you need to move to a nicer place. About the worst thing that happens to me while on the roads is when someone in a car doesn't go wide to give extra room between us. Around here people are generally pretty nice about it, waving and smiling or making an upbeat remark. Once, while running down a very large hill a guy said to me "Hey, that's cheating! Running downhill is easier!" (duh, how did he think I got up there to begin with?) That's about as ugly as it gets. Oh wait, I remember doing intervals on the college track a couple years ago and a middle-aged woman was walking in lane one. I tried to tell her as politely as I could that she should move to the outer 3 lanes. She ignored me and after my second or third request she told me to "go pick on someone else". Mind you, there is a sign at the entrance to the track that says "slower runners and walkers stay in the outside 3 lanes". She left shortly thereafter. As a side note, the track coach has told me that he has had people walk on the track during practice and give him a hard time when he tells them that the team is working out. It's the standard "I'm a taxpayer...blah blah" line.
Of course, I don't run by HS or JHS kids much and not being a HS kid myself, maybe I'm just not a good target or in a target zone.
When I was in college we were running the day after a big snow. It had warmed up a bit so there was quite a bit of slush on the roads. We were on the sidewalk when this dick in an old Camero came by and drove next to us in the gutter and soaked us with slush. He then proceeded to drive around the block and do it again. This guy splashed the wrong group of skinny guys. He lived right around the corner from the college, so a few nights later we went to his house and slashed those big fat tires on the back of his Camero. Operation Mongoose!!